i have few friends since i'm not as mentally acute as everybody else. how do i change?

[Capricorn3]

Nuerological Psychologist will help with brain issues..

Ahh, that sounds better, lol. I think a Psychologist will definitely be the right way to go here.

 

"Honestly though, I'm still confused by a lot of this thread"

Me too!

[sanadee]

Why are you confused?

[sanadee]

You've been given suggestions on how to welcome change, which the thread title is concerned with ("how do I change?"). If you aren't willing to listen to peoples' suggestions and give it a shot, then you are pretty much choosing to make the same decisions while expecting different results to flourish.

 

The mind is your best and worst critic. Your mind thinks that you are awkward, mentally acute, etc. You do not know that the belief you are forming right now is absolutely true.

 

There is only so much we can do to provide a lift for your situation. Change may at least give you a perspective that we can't give you.

 

i know i'm mentally backward. who is to say i am not?

[sanadee]

image removed...I like to set myself goals in life like you, there is nothing wrong with that, but I know I am a girl and I have limitations when it comes to lifting heavy stuff and sometimes will try but will have to call a guy to come and help for I'm just to weak to do it on my own, it is to understand ones limitations in life, and to sometimes say I can't do everything in life.

 

I sometimes need help I can't do or know everything.image removed

 

OK.

 

Does not being able to lift heavy objects cost you? Why should it? as you stated, you are female, so this is excused. It's no different to, say, not being able to play piano at Grade 8. Not many people can play piano at such a high level, but most who cannot do not care, since it's a small thing in life.

 

But i always get laughed at, smirked at, and scolded for being a total * * * * * * * , and not knowing simple things. And for making totally retarded mistakes.

 

You people may make mistakes, but nobody holds this against you, I bet. I hate being upset everyday since i make a foolish error, or don't know something that everybody else knows as common knowledge and fact.

 

Admit it, please. Most people know common knowledge, so why can't I? What makes me so special, or different?

[2slippers]

From reading all the posts in this thread the only thing I could gather is that you may have a short term memory problem. Could you give more specific examples of what you do or don't do, say or don't say, that people make fun of?

 

You said you like writing reports, what is the highest level of education you have received? What were you like in school?

 

You should definitely see a doctor before the therapist just to be absolutely certain that everything is wired the right way.

[sanadee]

From reading all the posts in this thread the only thing I could gather is that you may have a short term memory problem. Could you give more specific examples of what you do or don't do, say or don't say, that people make fun of?

 

You said you like writing reports, what is the highest level of education you have received? What were you like in school?

 

You should definitely see a doctor before the therapist just to be absolutely certain that everything is wired the right way.

 

No, I am not. I'm mentally retarded. I am going to see the doctor next week, so I'm sure he would say the same thing.

 

At school i was average.

[sanadee]

And as for specific examples, well they are numerous:

 

- Looking the * * * * * * * among my team at work

- Not being able to make conversation, and saying nothing when in groups.

- Not knowing common facts about life.

[Jeen]

I don't know if this will help but you may find CBT worth while!

 

CBT is a short-term talking treatment that has a highly practical approach to problem-solving. It aims to change patterns of thinking or behaviour that are behind people's difficulties, and so change the way they feel.

 

No, I am not. I'm mentally retarded. I am going to see the doctor next week, so I'm sure he would say the same thing.

 

At school i was average.

 

CBT is based on a 'model' or theory that it's not events themselves that upset us, but the meanings we give them. Our thoughts can block us seeing things that don't fit with what we believe is true. In other words, we continue to hold on to the same old thoughts and fail to learn anything new.

 

link removed

[2slippers]

Well sanadee, it seems like you are dead set on labeling yourself as retarded. You asked for help on how to change buy you are not open to the many suggestions that have been presented to you.

 

Here is how to change:

 

- stop calling yourself retarded

- open your mind up to the suggestions made in this thread and try a few of them

- read up on current events in the newspaper or online

- do a search online for 'common facts about life' , read up on them, and come back to this forum and ask questions about it because we are all here to help.

[catfeeder]

Well sanadee, it seems like you are dead set on labeling yourself as retarded. You asked for help on how to change buy you are not open to the many suggestions that have been presented to you.

 

Here is how to change:

 

- stop calling yourself retarded

- open your mind up to the suggestions made in this thread and try a few of them

- read up on current events in the newspaper or online

- do a search online for 'common facts about life' , read up on them, and come back to this forum and ask questions about it because we are all here to help.

 

Yep, and stop arguing with people who try to help you. It doesn't mean you need to accept every suggestion, but it means you need to quit your knee-jerk reaction against every idea. If you honestly want to change, then start by changing that.

[sanadee]

Well sanadee, it seems like you are dead set on labeling yourself as retarded. You asked for help on how to change buy you are not open to the many suggestions that have been presented to you.

 

Here is how to change:

 

- stop calling yourself retarded

- open your mind up to the suggestions made in this thread and try a few of them

- read up on current events in the newspaper or online

- do a search online for 'common facts about life' , read up on them, and come back to this forum and ask questions about it because we are all here to help.

 

why should i read? everybody knows normal stuff, why can't i?

 

Is there any medical reason why I cannot be mentally equal? Or just protestations as to how "i have limitations too, and YOU can't change yours since I have to live with mine!!"?

 

If anybody here has any medical knowledge at all, they would know that the purpose of medicine to make persons whole. A person with a broken leg wouldn't be told "live with it" by a doctor, unless there was a bonafide reason for not repairing the broken leg.

 

You may say I appear rude, and perhaps I do. I'm just tired of hearing excuses as to how I cannot be mentally equal, which most often from not stem from jealousy and inadequacy. Even if I am already "intelligent", so what? Some people are better looking than others; should them getting cosmetic surgery to be even more good looking make ugly people whine on and moan like inadequate fools?

 

I am going to see a doctor, so see how this situation can be resolved. I won't be any public joke anymore.

[sanadee]

I don't know if this will help but you may find CBT worth while!

 

CBT is a short-term talking treatment that has a highly practical approach to problem-solving. It aims to change patterns of thinking or behaviour that are behind people's difficulties, and so change the way they feel.

 

 

 

CBT is based on a 'model' or theory that it's not events themselves that upset us, but the meanings we give them. Our thoughts can block us seeing things that don't fit with what we believe is true. In other words, we continue to hold on to the same old thoughts and fail to learn anything new.

 

link removed

 

So how would this help in this case?

[sanadee]

lol... i noticed no answers to my questions. and this is supposed to be a discussion forum? lol....

 

if i want to be mentally equal, i see no reason why i cannot be.

[sanadee]

lol... i noticed no answers to my questions. and this is supposed to be a discussion forum? lol....

 

if i want to be mentally equal, i see no reason why i cannot be.

[sanadee]

Yep, and stop arguing with people who try to help you. It doesn't mean you need to accept every suggestion, but it means you need to quit your knee-jerk reaction against every idea. If you honestly want to change, then start by changing that.

 

i want to change by being mentally equal.

 

- stop calling yourself retarded

 

I AM retarded.

[grace_face]

Ok, so if you're retarded, so what? Do you think you're using that label as an excuse so you don't have to try as hard as everyone else? So you're not compared to everyone else? So you feel "safe" deep down, even though you want to be more mentally "equal"?

 

I've got a friend at work who has a learning disability. She's clearly not stupid or retarded in any way, but she does have issues with the English language, coherent sentence structure, understanding certain concepts, etc...some people at our office laugh at her and find her annoying and dumb. I find them really narrow minded and ignorant, personally.

 

Anyway, I consider myself fairly intelligent, and I don't feel that she is not worthy of my friendship because she's "below" me in certain ways intellectually or mentally. Everyone is different.

 

I understand that you don't want to feel stupid in front of people, but to me, what really matters here is surrounding yourself with friends and people who appreciate and support you for who you are. As long as you're fairly happy in your own life, who cares what narrow minded people think?

[sanadee]

I just want to be mentally equal. this means a lot to me, and i find it hurtful that i am not mentally equal.

[sanadee]

and i just want to know why i am not mentally equal. if i have a learning disability, or am mentally retarded, then so be it. i would then know how to cope.

 

everything happens for a reason, right? how can i go about coping with my big problem, if i don't know the root of it?

 

And there IS a problem. Since if everybody else knows common knowledge and facts about life, then i should too, right? there must be something that medically causes this, since again, everything has a cause and everything happens for a reason.

 

And lastly, if you met somebody today who didn't know Barack Obama was the president, what would you think of that person? Again, this is common everyday knowledge, so it would not be far-out to think there is something wrong with this person.

[sanadee]

well, who else is there to blame?

 

people close to me knew the signs of autism and mental retardation. when i was about 7 or so, my mom used to say it was good i liked maps and learning about dinosaurs. but aren't these symptoms of autism? isn't it unusual for a child to have those interests? and she is a medical professional, so she should know better.

 

i know i sound bitter, but i just want to ascertain the root of my problem. and to me it's a big problem.

[I_Speak_Jive]

 

people close to me knew the signs of autism and mental retardation. when i was about 7 or so, my mom used to say it was good i liked maps and learning about dinosaurs. but aren't these symptoms of autism? isn't it unusual for a child to have those interests? and she is a medical professional, so she should know better.

 

 

Not at all! I loved dinosaurs when I was little, and so did all the other boys in my class. Why do you think Jurassic Park was such a hit

 

I can see that you are very bothered by this perceived difference of yours, but until you get a professional opinion from a qualified doctor, there is always a strong possiblity that you are not, in fact, disabled in any way -just... different.

[I_Speak_Jive]

why should i read? everybody knows normal stuff, why can't i?

 

Everybody reads! That's how we learn all that 'normal stuff'. Information doesn't get downloaded into our brain automatically. I know you think we are all born with some vital knowledge that you don't have, but we aren't. We learn stuff by reading, listening, trying, failing and yes, looking like an ass while we try.

[sanadee]

Not at all! I loved dinosaurs when I was little, and so did all the other boys in my class. Why do you think Jurassic Park was such a hit

 

I can see that you are very bothered by this perceived difference of yours, but until you get a professional opinion from a qualified doctor, there is always a strong possiblity that you are not, in fact, disabled in any way -just... different.

 

well, problems are relative, and how people deal with situations are relative. i know to you it seems like a small thing, but to me it is a very big thing.

[waveseer]

I don't think we are all that different almost none of us are getting any cuter, join the club.

[sanadee]

Everybody reads! That's how we learn all that 'normal stuff'. Information doesn't get downloaded into our brain automatically. I know you think we are all born with some vital knowledge that you don't have, but we aren't. We learn stuff by reading, listening, trying, failing and yes, looking like an ass while we try.

 

how does everybody read? in reality most people don't read anything.

[grace_face]

It seems to me that you either have some sort of short term memory issue, or perhaps not Autism (dinosaurs and maps are very common interests in children actually. Pretty much anything in moderation or brief obsession is normal in kids I think) but Aspergers Syndrome, and your attitude is not the most positive. I can see why you're down on yourself and anyone else you perceive may be at "fault" here, but it's just making it worse.

 

And people do read. Some don't get as much time to read as they'd like, but they still read if they like to do so. If you're very interested in any particular topic, you will be inclined to read about it as you want to know more.