ex doing favors

[ncflyguy020]

Just a little quick background. My ex broke up with me a year ago,, saying i love you but im not in love with you.. he did a rebound and it blew up in his face. It lasted about 6months. They split up and he got mad about the rebound failing.. Dont you love kharma? anyways he moves out. Now a month later he starts emailing and texting me saying he hopes im ok and that he is wondering how our new puppy is, that he misses him and has had dreams about our dog we had to put down in may. He wanted to know if its overstepping the boundary if he could have the clay paw print of our dog we had put to sleep. Also wanted to know if our new puppy could come to vist some time that our cat we share, which he took with him is missing him. I sent an email reply saying sure, he can come and visit,, you are more than welcome to come and get him anytime you want. Im going to be out of town this weekend and he wants to babysit our pup while im away. Doesnt this seem a little on the odd side for someone that wanted out of the house and our relationship to turn around and want back in it? He also said i know you want nothing to do with me. I replied i dont want to be friends i can go from being number one to friendship status. Did i say the right thing our blow it for a chance at getting back together. I want him to learn what it is to live without me and to live with his decision to end it. But i want him back so bad. thoughts? suggestions?

[allgood]

dont... his just gonna use you as a rebound

pls girl dont let this guy use you.

his hurt u once dont let him hurt u again.

keep him out of your life... i dont even get rebounds... why do u need to hurt another person just to numb the pain....

pls dont let this guy use you... stay strong

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I think you did fine..you set boundaries with him. However, in the 6 months he was in the rebound did he not even miss the dog! Be careful that he is not trying to worm his way back into your life because he misses having a body, anybody, around.

[Puckdog27]

Myself and an ex who I once lived with had a dog. After we split, she always allowed me to take him for weekends or whatever. After the recovery period of the break up we were able to maintain a loose freindship. Eventually, she met someone, got married and started a family, so I didnt want to be disrespectful to her husband and still take the dog. The dog is 14 now. I was home a few weeks ago and we made arrangements for me to see him one last time. He hasnt seen me in about 4 or 5 years and he is now deaf and blind. She was worried he wouldnt know me because she thinks his mind is gone too. When the dog walked over to me, he sniffed me and knew right away who it was. He began to make his happy wimpers and lick my face. We both started to cry. It was very bitter sweet. When it was over we both realized not only would I never see the dog again, we would probably never see each other again either as I live in another state now and would really have no reason to see each other again.

 

Sometimes pets are attachments that get lost with the breakup, if you can be amicable to him seeing the puppy sometimes, please give it a shot.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Ahhh...your story reminded me of the story of Odysseus who went off to fight the Trojan War for 10 years and then wandered around trying to get home for the next 10 years. When he finally came home his dog (I guess they lived longer back then in ancient Greece!) still recognized him, showed his joy at seeing his long last master..and then died. I always loved this story.

[ncflyguy020]

yes he did miss the dog, he was with me when we put it to sleep. We both talked about getting another puppy,, not to replace him,,but the house was so quiet without a dog. I think he is still confused about love really is . Not the warm fuzzy feelings you first get when you first meet. I havent initiated any phone calls or text messages. Its all been his on doings. When he ask how things are with me and the "kids" he still calls our pets kids.. Which i think is a great sign. I just respond with a short,, things are good thanks and leave it at that. I told him i do forgive him and want to start fresh and cannot be friends.Do you think him wanting to do favors is a sign that he wants back in slowly but is too proud to admit he messed up and wants to try again?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Don't read too much into it..lots of dumpers come back just because they need the ego boost..that is why they never actually say "I made a mistake and I want to work on reconciling"....because those words would stick in their throat since that is not what they really want..they just want the other person to pine for them hoping for reconciliation, and often they want sex or companionship or whatever else they are missing from their life...without the commitment. So don't over-think this..he has really given you nothing to go on at this point..even if he says "I miss you"..that is what a lot of dumpers say but don't mean it in the sense of wanting to reconcile. Keep your guard up at this point and don't assume he wants a full-fledged relationship...not unless he spells it out plainly to you.