Guys who like to repeat himself . . . over and over again!

[confused25]

What do you do with guys that repeat the same thing over and over?

 

This guy I have been seeing has a habit of doing this and it's been driving me nuts! lol.

 

For example, he's constantly going back and forth about what to do with his car. He bought a car about a year ago and it's a luxury car. Now he's regretting it due to the economy, and the fact that the car is not practical. He can definitely afford the car but he's the type of person that over analyzes EVERY LITTLE THING! It's like one day he'll be like oh I love my car I want to keep it, and the next he'll be like oh I'm so going to trade it in and get another cheaper car because it's not worth it. I've given him my advice like a million times but it seems like it goes in the one year and out the other. He talks about this every time I see him and it's get to the point that it's starting to get really annoying. Sometimes I just pretend that I didn't hear him so he won't prolong the topic. This is not the only thing, he also gets repetitive with other things as well.

 

I mean, am I over-reacting for getting annoyed by this? What do you do to get him to stop this?

[Cognitive_Canine]

"Either sell the car or keep it. You're driving me up the wall, here!"

 

I'd be frank with him and tell him that this is frustrating you.

 

Sounds obsessive.

[itsallgrand]

You are probably getting a taste of how he is a lot of the time!

 

I have a friend who is like that. Because I've known him so long, and because we are quite close and to me his good qualities outweigh this thing about him, sometimes he'll ask "are you even listening?" and I'll say "I am. But you aren't even listening to yourself, you are on auto pilot again". He laughs cause he knows it is true.

 

You can handle it or you can't. Sorry!

[nutbrownhare]

Some people just like to do this. I had a long-term relationship with someone who used to go over the same ground again and again and again, not listening to anything I had to say - because this was his way of processing his decisions. Eventually I learned to tune it out. It was something he needed to do for himself because making decisions of any kind was something he struggled with.

 

I can't imagine getting annoyed about it. Bored, yes. You can try changing the subject, and if this doesn't make any difference, you need to decide if you can live with this. Because he's very unlikely to change!

[Mimori]

I actually tend to repeat myself, but not purpose. A lot as to do with my ADHD. I’ll literally forget that I’ve told someone something only moments before. In one conversation my friend had fun laughing and counting up HOW many times I forgot and repeated the same statement… I do warn people ahead of time and I try to watch myself. But it still happens. Lol.

 

There are people though who work better with saying things out loud. It helps edit out the other opinions and organize ones thoughts. He’s obviously someone who wants to be sure he makes the right decision, and don’t hesitate to ask if he could talk about something else…or change the subject on your own.

[Sunny1607307996]

Hah shuttlefish! "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure..."

 

To the OP:

 

I had a boyfriend like that once. He had a group of stories that he would just circulate and repeat OVER and OVER and OVER again. If I tried to gently explain I'd already heard that particular story, he would get extremely sulky, or would just ignore me and continute talking. I would even finish his stories FOR him just to prove I'd heard them so many times, I can tell him the ending!

 

I tried to just "tune out" during these times, which worked for a while.

 

Honestly, if he just had a shred of humor and laughed it off when I told him I'd already heard that story, I think we would have lasted a lot longer, instead of him giving me the silent treatment for two days whenever I finished a story for the millionth time.

 

Your guy, however, just sounds indecisive and maybe a little OCD instead of just immature. Have you actually sat down and calmly explained how he tends to go on and on about his car? Is it just the car that he rambles on about or is it every little thing?

 

Also, I wonder if he's complaining about the luxary car when he's masking another type of problem, like a money problem he wants to discuss but is just feeling the waters.

 

Just a few thoughts. Good luck!

[ur02111222]

If it's driving you nuts, don't date him. He's not going to change. I repeat myself a lot and forget. I end up telling the same friend the same story 3 or 4 times, thinking I told it to someone else. I forget easily who I said what to, so I repeat. Usually they just tease me and it's not a big deal. Except my sister because she grew up with it and it annoys her.

 

And as for over-analyzing, I do this also. If it bothers you, don't date him. You cannot honestly expect him to change the way he processes thoughts. Some of us just like to process out loud. It's hard for me not to. Like, I want a really major hair cut right now (cutting it mostly off), and my sister told my roommate "this is all you will hear about until it happens." And I cannot help it. I just get excited and then nervous and ask everyone if they think it will look ok or not. And if they say it'll look ok, I think they are just lying and I continue to talk about it. I try not to, it's just hard to know when to stop unless someone says, "STOP!"

 

So just either change the subject or tell him it's his decision and change the topic. And if he presses the car issue a little farther, just tune him out or tell him to stop talking about it and change the subject. Or don't date him. This isn't going to just go away.

[servedcold]

He sounds really young, and some of this obnoxiousness is ok in younger folks. If he's older than 21-23 and still doing this dump and move on.

[RedWingsFan]

Were we separated at birth!?

 

I often forget who I've told a story to. My solution...don't tell the story more than a handful of times! I also need to process my thoughts out loud. Further, I like other people's opinions. It's not that I'm indecisive; I just like to hear opposing opinions to get a better handle of the situation.

 

For some people this can be a dealbreaker. My friends just lightly tease me if I am repeating stories and change the subject.

 

Try dropping subtle, but friendly, hints. Do it with a smile (not a fake one!) and simply change the subject. If he gets hurt, and you still can't stand the behavior, you might have to find someone else.

[ghost69]

he doesn't sound like a repetitive type, he sounds like he just has no idea what else to talk about.