colly01 Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Hi all, Have been broken up over 4 months with long term gf (5+) years and i've a bit of a problem. I've been recently in a situation the other night were i was with a girl who i think is gorgeous, attraction was there and all but got down and dirty and when it came to the act i couldn't really perform. I know i'm still very much in love with my ex and she pushes my hot buttons big time but i know its over so why can't i perform. I'm not really embarrased about it cause the girl i was with kinda knows my history and how heartbroken i was after so understood. The problem is i want to but i have trouble keeping the man downstairs alive (if ye know what i mean). How can i overcome this or is this just part of the healing process and eventually i'll be fine. HELP!!!! Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Yep - it's just part of the healing process, especially if you were in a situation with someone gorgeous. Just take your time, don't put any pressure on yourself and eventually it will all sort itself out. Having an orgasm with someone can be an emotional commitment, and it sounds as though it's one you're not ready to take yet - which is why you couldn't 'perform'. You are far from unique in this! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 I would say that girl must be pretty desperate to want to have sex with someone who is still not over his ex girlfriend. At any rate why do you just want to bang some broad when you are still in love with your ex. Having an orgasm will make your body happy for a few seconds but it doesn't change your emotional pain. Lots of people assume that if they just bang someone else they will suddenly magically feel different..that's how rebounds happen. Doesn't work that way...you need to get over your ex first before you can have any decent interactions with someone else. Link to comment
colly01 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Share Posted August 22, 2009 Thanks for replies, yes shuttlefish i'm on anti-depressants for 2 weeks now and i'm thinking this could be the reason also. I could get hard but only for a period of time then went soft again and the next morning was the same. I'm able to masturbate no problem and orgasm that way but the other night with that girl was just weird even though i did feel comfortable. There was some drink taken also so a combination of meds and alcohol could be the reason. Just wish i was able to get back to myself who was a good lover (well in my eyes..lol)... Link to comment
nhisname2002 Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 It's definitely the anti-depressants. Go to the doc and get some Viagra or Cialis, just for a temporary self confidence boost. Link to comment
Rob1000 Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Colly, I went anti-depressants the other day after you advised me to see my doc. The very first thing I noticed was my lack of sex drive and inability to orgasm. So it has to be part of the reason. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 dont worry, I had this same problem initially with my ex because I was not over my ex-ex, ironic if I get a new girlfriend and the same thing happens, nah, I think it is a matter of getting over her first, I think when you are with some one sexually you need to be with them and not simultaneously with your ex in your head, just give it some time, I am almost 7 months in and not over her completely, def. significantly healed and much better though. Link to comment
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