advice please!

[DN]

Don't panic. You did the right thing and she is in a snit because you aren't doing what she wants.

 

Don't contact her again unless she contacts you first.

[joethe]

this is tough. Are you sure i shouldnt text her back?

[DN]

I would not. She doesn't like it that you stood up to her.

[joethe]

she just texted me saying:

 

"Your all talk, in fact ive given you way too many chances and you cant answer any questions that i deserve answers too"

 

Im not quite sure what questions she's referring too. But i do know that she is acting like a complete biootch.. what do i say

[DN]

Nothing. She has already texted you having said goodbye.

[joethe]

maybe this has been my problem, and why she feels she can keep doing all of this. Is she making it seem like its all about her? or is it just me..? I seriously dont know what to do anymore, im starting to get sick of her acting like this.. what i said was honest and she says its bull..

[DN]

Well, that seems to have been pretty much what has happened all along.

 

Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with someone this problematical? I know a child is involved but there are other ways of co-parenting a child.

[joethe]

i think about that all the time and come to the same conclusion everytime. I love this girl more then anything when she's nice. But she tends to turn into some type of animal that i can not stand. I think that i let her get away with this for so long and mostly everytime have gone back to her asking to get back together. She is a really stubborn person which is not good when trying to work on a relationship. So you think i should just not answer huh? thanks DN for all you help

[DN]

I would wait at least 24 hours before saying anything. Chances are she will text you anyway. But eventually, if she doesn't, you could just basically say it is up to her to respond properly to what you said.

[joethe]

thanks, i have read that message i wrote to her 5 times and everytime i cant see where there is anyway she should get mad at that.. i dont get it

[DN]

There is nothing wrong with it other than you aren't dancing to her tune.

[joethe]

ya that makes a lot of since, i dont stand up for myself as much as i should.. I think its time i get my balls back!! im sick of walking on egg shells around her!! i deserve better then that..

[michaelhopes]

I think youll find this humorous and relate

link removed

[IGlareOften]

I agree with DN, Dude. At this point, the best way forward is to find a place where you can co-exist, and co-parent. I will give you a woman's perspective. She is trying to push you towards two different outcomes. 1.) to buck up against her comments and really work on ya'll. 2.) pushing you towards blowing up so she can blame you for the failure.

 

Either one is manipulation, and I can truly say that is what she is doing to you right now. In my personal opinion...she doesn't deserve to have you. If after 3 years and a child..she is still trying to manipulate you. Like DN's quote says "He's not immature just because he won't do what you want him to." By saying "can we talk about this maturely" She was attacking your maturity level because you won't speak on her terms? No thank you.

 

She expects you to do what you've always done, which is be the fixer. Work hard to fix your family. But, as the old adage says "If you always do, what you've always done. You'll always get what you've always gotten." Don't stay in hell because you know the street names. It's time to step up FOR YOUR SON, and be the best father you can be. That does not equal to trying to resurrect a relationship with his mother that is obviously toxic and semi-immature. She is putting the relationship on her terms and talking down to you when you won't play by those rules.

 

Respect yourself, dude. Love yourself and love your son more than you want to be in a relationship. There are plenty of women who will treat you with dignity and respect, who won't manipulate you or try to bait you. Don't try to fix something just because there are complications. Don't stay because she's your son's mother. Stay because you truly feel the women is worth your time, emotion, energy and growth. If she isn't worth ALL of those plus some...don't stay.