Pip-Boy 3000 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 As the title states, my girlfriend thinks that I am too needy and that I whine too much. I can honestly say that she is making that up completely. She texts me non stop saying the same things over and over like "I miss you" or "I love you" and it doesnt bother me. I just reply back. She tells me to stop smoking so much and it's ok for her to say it but when I tell her to not drink as much she gets offended. When I start texting her a lot she thinks I am being needy. I do the same things to her that she does to me except she always gets mad at me for it. I really don't understand what is going on. I tell her I love her all the time and that she's pretty and then sometimes she says things like "You never say you love me or that I'm pretty" and I cant do anything except act surprised because she makes up things that I have or havent said. She thinks I call her fat when I have never said anything like that ever. Not to mention she cheated on me and she constantly thinks that I cheat on her when I have never cheated on anyone before and she has no reason to believe I am cheating. I really love her happy and loving side but this side of her is scary. I am at a loss for ideas here. I believe anything can be fixed, I just don't know how. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 She sounds insecure, and also a bit of a control freak. Very double standards...if shes cheaten on you and basically has a go at you all of the time...what are you reasons for staying? Link to comment
Pip-Boy 3000 Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 She sounds insecure, and also a bit of a control freak. Very double standards...if shes cheaten on you and basically has a go at you all of the time...what are you reasons for staying? She was very remorseful for cheating on me and she realized she made a huge mistake because I am a good boyfriend. When she's in a good mood she always tries to make me happy. I just hate it when she drinks because she can't control herself and turns into a complete different person. Link to comment
npsgnome Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 The things people hate about others, and accuse other are usually things they hate about themselves. Maybe she realizes she is needy, and so when you start to text her a lot, it reminds her about herself. So she doesn't like that part of herself, so she is taking her garbage out on you. She also sounds insecure, and she obviously doesn't love herself. So yeah...if she has cheated on you why are you with her? doesn't sound like she treats you good either... Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 She was very remorseful for cheating on me and she realized she made a huge mistake because I am a good boyfriend. When she's in a good mood she always tries to make me happy. I just hate it when she drinks because she can't control herself and turns into a complete different person. Do you have more good times than bad or the other way round? I understand you have forgiven the cheating, but if on top of that she has drinking issues and nags you about being needy it sets of an alarm in my head saying shes not treating you correctly. Link to comment
shikashika Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 ahh regardless of the 'he said' 'she said' stuff, she cheated, and neither of you seem very happy. So where is this relationship heading? It doesn't sound lik either of you have a very healthy idea of love and relationship and you are confusing love with need ( both of you) You're not respecting yourself by letting her treat you like that... and there are always two sides to every story. Who knows how she's seeing it... Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I believe she is taking out her own issues on you. I have had this. The gross double standards you are talking about. My ex would tell me to be truthful so I was. I said I was having a few drinks over at a friends. A mutual friends then she would get mad at me for doing it. She wouldn't even believe I was over our friends housem she thought i was with some other people, girls or something riddiculous. Then she would get drunk and make a complete ass out of herself and she would admit it. Link to comment
DN Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 Oh yuck! Really - who needs this sort of nonsense in their lives? I understand you love her but do you really want to put up with this self-absorbed silliness? I know I wouldn't. Let her act out her drama-queen pretentiousness on someone else if she can find someone to put up with it. Link to comment
DeviousOne Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 This will be really short and to the point... Walk away this isn't going to work for you especially if she cheated on you she has trust issues and insecurities you will never be able to fix only she can and she wont. And telling you from experince if you stay in this situation you will get tired of trying and being accused you might just cheat on her out of anger. Nothing positive will come out of this its never going to be a real relationship 50/50 all its going to be is a blame game.... yes its hard but in the end you will be better off emotionally and in life...Young too young for this ish u could be watsing your time with this chick and could be missing out on someone better for you. Leave Link to comment
metwo Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 she sounds alot like me... to tell you the truth... not so much the same..but similar... its not you... its her...she's probably very insecure about herself... you say she's cheated on you...well.. i knew that before i even read it... i knew it when you said...I tell her I love her all the time and that she's pretty and then sometimes she says things like "You never say you love me or that I'm pretty" and I cant do anything except act surprised because she makes up things that I have or havent said. She thinks I call her fat when I have never said anything like that ever... i just wasn't sure if you knew... do you know if she has ever felt the hurt of a breakup? does she move from one to the next? Link to comment
Pip-Boy 3000 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Share Posted August 20, 2009 I already know she has a lot of problems, and I accepted them. She's had a rather rough past with her family and friends. I'm probably one of two guys that's actually cared about her and the last guy still cheated on her. So I try to do what I can to make her happy because she does make me happy. It's just the drinking and double standards that bothers me. The only way I would break up with her is if I truly felt that needed to happen, and at this point I don't think it's necessary. Link to comment
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