sunflowers1 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Hi there, I recently starting dating a guy who I met on line.After the date he didnt ask me for my number but said we should catch up again if I liked. When I got home that night(we had lunch date)there was an email from him saying he didnt have my number.I made a mental note of this but I thought it odd that he didnt ask for my number maybe thought I didnt want to give it to him? I thought rather than making abig isue of it that I owuld send him my number.Anyway he was away for aweek and he said in email) when he got back we should catch up again. I went on line last night and you can see from someones profile if they have logged on and he had in the past 24 hours.So two questions was I right to give him my number and when can you expect someone to be exclusive and not to be on line or can you? Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Are you two in a relationship? I think it's just in the dating level at teh moment and he is the type to keep his options open if the other fails by the sounds of things. So when the boat goes down he has another boat to carry him away to safety so to speak. Link to comment
Jpo Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 He probably forgot to ask for it. The email from him saying he didn't have your number was him asking for it. There is no way of telling how long it will take two people to become exclusive, it is different for everyone. It can depend on how often you two go out, how you feel about each other, etc. It seems to me that it would be odd if you dated for over two months and there was no mention of exclusivity though. He is away for a week, wait until he gets back. Give him a couple days, if he is interested he will call you. Until then, you are over thinking things. Link to comment
Ammy Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Hi there, I would say 1 date is not enough to expect exclusivity and not logging onto the site. I know I always wish they would stop looking after they meet me... but that's unrealistic in the online dating world. I think a handful of dates at least before you can expect that. And yes, I think you were right to give him your number, he asked for it! Ammy Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 One date is not enough to start demanding that someone take leave total leave of their online activities and be 'exclusive' to you... Doesnt the guy have any say in this.....or did you just decide this is what YOU want? My god, why dont you just put him in a cage and lock him up....???? Link to comment
BriarRose Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I don't know if I would go out with someone who was on-line again within 24 hrs of a date with me, but that's just me.... As for the phone number thing, he maybe was nervous or just forgot...no big deal... Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 He probably forgot to ask for it. The email from him saying he didn't have your number was him asking for it. There is no way of telling how long it will take two people to become exclusive, it is different for everyone. It can depend on how often you two go out, how you feel about each other, etc. It seems to me that it would be odd if you dated for over two months and there was no mention of exclusivity though. He is away for a week, wait until he gets back. Give him a couple days, if he is interested he will call you. Until then, you are over thinking things. that's my take too. i'd let him ask you out on another date right now. besides, you should be trying to meet new men yourself online! Link to comment
TheOther Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I'm kind of surprised numbers weren't exchanged before the date. If a last-minute thing came up, someone was stuck in traffic, etc, you'd be able to call the other person. I wouldn't be concerned about his logging into the dating site. Even if he had a great time, he could still just be checking messages and so on. You've got several more dates to go before you can reasonably bring up the topic of hiding profiles. Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 eh, i've had dates where we didn't know each others' numbers before hand. but yes, like you said, if there is an emergency, you can't bring it up. otherwise, not that odd. Link to comment
savignon Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 After one date, I'd be surprised if he wasn't logging into his account. I logged in any time I had a new message or whatever so I would be surprised if a date of mine had taken it as "she's still looking and we just had dinner!". It's part of the deal with online dating, I think. You'll see soon if he calls or maybe he'll send another email while he's away...?? You can only expect exclusivity after things have gone well and there's been a discussion. Would you want to be exclusive with someone you've just had one date with? Link to comment
MT1981 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 well i can only speak for myself - but the girl im seeing - i met her through online dating. But my thing is that, when I meet someone, i put my profile on private - so no more contacts can be made. Just a thing that I do so that I can focus on getting to know her. Her profile is still up and she still goes online - but yeah, that is up to her. As we have only been on 2 dates, I am not really fussed. If someone else came along and she decided that he was it for her, then so be it - its not like I had asked her if we can be exclusive. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 No difference for me between meeting someone through on line or some other way - we were exclusive when we decided to be exclusive, usually within two months of meeting in person (about 8-10 dates usually). Link to comment
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