And I thought i was doing so well

[benzonar]

Well its been 8 weeks now, and I really thought I was making progress, but today I realise I haven't moved on at all.

 

My ex had her 12 week scan on Tuesday and is still refusing to speak to me about anything, including the baby. The no contact thing isn't really relevant I think, she is carrying my child and I want to be involved. She is being evil and I am starting to really resent her.

 

I just don't understand why someone who is carrying my child can hate me for no discernible reason. It is so irrational and I'm at a real low point today. I've tried to justify her actions, but all I keep coming back to now is that she must be a head case.

 

My mother thinks she will never see her grandchild and it is tearing me up. How can someone who was so sweet and whom I would have devoted my life to do a sudden 180 and turn into the bitch from hell. I give up I really do.

[Hopingpraying]

Not that this will make you feel better but it happens a lot. It is unfortunate, but this happened too me. My wife went from loving me to hating my guts, at least that is the way I have seen it. The only advice I can give to you is what has worked for me... Give her your unwaivering love.

 

Through this whole divorce process I have been nothing but supportive of her. No matter what she has said or done I have been the better person through it all. I stay calm. Tell her why I disagree with her, and ultimately let her know I am not going to be this monster she is trying to show everyone else I am.

The way I look at it if I give her no reason to be mad at me, how can she be mad?? I mean it is that simple is it not? I am not saying roll over and take it how ever she gives it. I am just saying when she says the things she is saying step back and think does she really mean these things?? For you it could be as simple as she is pregnant and she is saying to herself look what this SOB did too me.. blah blah.. It could be hormonal.. Something. As for my wife I chalk it up to her self esteem issues and possibly post pardom depression. I have no other explanation for it.

 

I know it will be hard just to let the hurtful and hateful things she says go, but what other choice do you have? Saying mean hurtful things back to her is not going to get you into your daughters life any quicker. Once the baby is born you will have to go through the Friend of the court to see your daughter and that is not a fun thing. So definitely try to work it out between the two of you without getting the courts involved.

 

Your situation is not a good one, but by showing her you are just a caring and devoted father it should win her over. It may not be in the time frame you want, but how can she continue to be mad at you if you give her no reason to be mad..

 

Hope this helps.