Sent Estranged Former BFF Birthday Card

[spinstermanquee]

So, I've known this girl since we were young pups and we cut our teeth together. Now, she lives way remote Northern US and I live South. Since she moved, about 12 years now, every other year (six times now) I would take the three flight segments (which takes all day each way - not E to W but S to N and back because it's all small airports) to spend a weekend with her. She has an extreme fear of flying so she cannot come to visit me, especially with so many connections. I never insisted, only offered (in case she was feeling differently) to fly her to see me or to meet her in a city that was only one flight away for her (which she has managed for family members several times over the past as many years - but only 1 or 2 flights each way).

 

This year I wanted to see her but didn't want to take too much time off work b/c of the economy. Business is suffering. Anyhoo, I told her I wanted to come and specified dates but when it same closer to book the travel, I expressed aforementioned business issues. Sometimes a simple day can mean a several hundred dollar a week difference in my income... and I really need that money to fund my travels and treating her to dinner, etc. So I proposed a Friday-Sunday or a Saturday - Monday INSTEAD of a Friday-Monday itinerary which I had originally thought I could pull off.

 

Her email response was "let's just forget it for now." I apologized (and even e-groveled a little bit) and tried to make it right. I don't want to lose this many years friend.

 

Anyway, it's her birthday next week so I sent her a card and let her know that I will always be her friend not matter what and wished her a fun and lovely birthday. I hope she answers me back but I just cannot wrap my head around why she "dumped" me just for shortening my trip by one day? Hey and I don't want to make her wrong, I don't care about wrong or right, I just want my friend back.

 

So, in your humble opinions, what would cause a friend to react the way she did (she even "unfriended me" on Facebook) after 25+ years of me being loyal to her?

 

Is there anything else you think I can do to make it right? I already e-apologized and took all the responsibility.

 

Since our last conversation (me apologizing) in March I haven't contacted her and she did the Facebook thing around April. I tried to "re-friend" her in June and she ignored me.

 

She went through a divorce the early part of this year (during which I was uber-supportive). She is gainfully employed, has a lovely pet, and a few good local friends. Should I just butt out?

 

Did I do the wrong thing by sending the birthday card?

[agent1607307371]

I don't think you did the wrong thing with the birthday card, but I do think you did it with the grovelling.

 

She sounds like she is extremely ungracious unreciprocal in the "friendship". I'd leave her be.

[In the Dark]

It's a horrible feeling whne you know you have no intentions ever of losing contact with someone dear yet you feel there is nothing you could do.

 

It's like doing something right only to find you are doing something wrong.

 

I hope she comes around and realizes you have apologized for doing something caring and nice.