I hate my job and boyfriend this im 'stupid'

[alls]

I recently posted about my fustration with my job here

 

 

 

Now, the problems, arn't major, but day in and day out, its tiring. Getting checked up on every minute of the day. Working with people who are so rude. talk down to you. and who are soo lazy....

 

i was talking to my bf about this. i wasn't expecting him to fix it, or anything. it just came up... and i supose some what, i expect to at least be a BIT supportive.. i have to stick it out for a few months i know that... but he just goes, 'harden up' and to get a tough skin and when i said what was going on, he goes 'thats all? isn't it your job to do that?"...

 

for some reason it really suprised me....... that there was basically, no support, what so ever.... just said that this person is my boss, some people are rude, deal with it.

 

Now im shy, very shy. i dont say whats on my mind or tell people where to go.

 

I read this on a website about assertiveness and its spot on

 

"It’s okay saying to someone ‘stand up for yourself’ or ‘you should just say this to them…..’, but to someone who suffers from lack of assertiveness it’s not an easy thing to do and can fill people with dread at the thought of confronting someone with an issue they may have."

 

 

If you hated your job or something, the people you worked with were completely rude to you and spoke to you like a 5 year old, would you expect SOME support from your partner? I dont mean some 'there there it's going to be okay support'... just something other than, 'harden up'

[Diablo7000]

Ya I would cause it makes you feel better to tell someone who cares. I'm at my job rite now hate it, sweating cause it's humid only fans fans that circulate hott air... It sucks so don't feel bad oh and everyones a douschbag here to so I can relate =] keep a smile and do your job that's what I go by day in n day out... Good luck

[EQD]

thats a man for you...

but what he says is true. dont piss into the wind.

[jsx730]

Us guys tend to separate emotion from financial matters. Try not to let this ruin your opinion of him if he appears generally supportive on matters outside of work/finances.

[metafisics]

Us guys tend to separate emotion from financial matters. Try not to let this ruin your opinion of him if he appears generally supportive on matters outside of work/finances.

 

jsx, with all due respect this isan emotional issue. He does not have to agree with her reasoning to be supportive. He can show her a different reasoing without being insensitive and implying she is stupid.

 

If he's not supportive with this, I dont know what he'll be supportive with.

 

OP, perhaps you can talk to him about it and how you feel, then see how he responds and take it from there.

[jsx730]

Oh I know, but it is tied to a financial issue, too. I'm not saying his behavior is right, as it's obviously not. As a guy myself, I have had many times where I start to react the way he did, only before quickly catching myself and realizing what a tool I was being.

[Amberelise]

My boyfriend has told me on more than one occasion that I tend to offer "tough love" instead of comfort. But, I think I do that because I don't know any better. And, maybe that's the case for your boyfriend?

 

For example, my boyfriend and I went out to dinner one night. On our walk home I realized he had his shirt on inside out. He sat with his back to the crowd, so everyone in the restaurant saw his tag and surely knew he had his shirt on inside out. I joked with him about it and really thought it was quite funny. When we got home he went into the bedroom and pouted and barely talked. When I realized he was *that* upset over wearing his shirt inside out I told him that was a dumb thing to be upset about and to get over it. Ironically, this week about halfway through my work day I look down and realized I was wearing my shirt inside-out. I took it off at my desk (had a tank on underneath) and flipped it over. I messaged him and told him what I had done and completely laughed it off. I think it was then that I realized I sucked so bad at being supportive with him because I just did not understand how it upset him. In the same situation I acted completely different.

 

Recently, my boyfriend took it upon himself to demonstrate with me what it's like getting tough love instead of comforting words. And, you know what, I actually "liked" the tough love. I think I prefer it. (I don't, btw, think that's what he was going for.)

 

Soooo... what I'm saying is, I don't think it means he doesn't love you or doesn't care for you. He probably just doesn't understand what it is that you need. Obviously, my boyfriend and I have communicated about this. He is beginning to realize that tough love is probably the way to go with me and to go ahead and dish it out. At the same time, I am working very hard to stop and think before commenting with him. And, to try and throw comforting words his way. Though, funny tid-bit, yesterday I tried that and he laughed at me and said I was hilarious when trying to be comforting. I guess I suck at it... but I'll keep working on it. Communication really is the key in a relationship. He just needs to know what you need, and he can't read minds.

[alls]

well, the job doesn't matter now, as i was just 'let go' because my attitude wasn't right.... after being treated rude, spoken down to, belittled, day in day out... yeah my attitude is gonna be soo wonderful if i have that every day... not.

 

now, i have to tell him.. great... i got no support when i told him the problems... and now....... i dont even want to tell him coz i dont think there'll be any..