HE WON'T GO DOWN ON ME!!

[shy_guy_3]

Thinking about it, my BF never does it to me either, I sometimes do it to him.

 

He's never said he wont or will in the future...havnt discussed it. If a couple of months go by and he hasnt reciprocated am I within my rights to complain? (as I am clean/STD-free/shaven).

 

hey if you do it for him and he dont do it back...I think you should be complaining (if you want him to do it that is)

[Kitz]

Wow. Sounds like he's being immature!!! What a stupid excuse, too, "you're more experienced than me". How do you think you're MEANT to get experienced, mate?! Are you going to stay inexperienced for your whole life?!

As everyone else said, you should withhold oral from him until he's willing to do it to you. Hahah.

 

I love giving it to my bf, (and i'm in the same boat as you, too -- more experienced than him) and he kept asking me if he could go down on me.. But i've always thought it would be a bit gross if anyone ever went down on me so I wouldnt let him. After about a month of occasional asking, he asked again (damn, he REALLY wanted to do it, hahaha.) and so I let him.

 

Best night of my damn life.

 

but... is that normal?? I thought guys were like.. meant to hate it.

[itsallgrand]

I'm gonna say something and please don't take it the wrong way. Please no flaming because it is just my personal opinion and anyone can take it or leave it.

 

Never sleep with a man who will not go down on you.

[italianstalian]

i know for a FACT that if my girl had been w a HIGH number of guys......my mouth def wouldnt be anywhere near down there.....thats for dammn sure

[onmyownagain]

Perhaps he just doesn't want to perform oral sex. You might just have to accept it after all I am sure there are lots of things you wouldn't enjoy.

 

What if he wouldn't stay with you because you don't want anal sex or wont wear a gimp mask etc.

 

For the record my wife has never performed oral sex on me although I am happy to do this for her.

[somebrunette]

no offence but he sounds like a tosser, and seems very insecure... you are with him, not all of these other guys so he should get over his insecurities. this is not something you have control over as the others have said, we all have a past, and whether or not he is ready to accept that depends on how secure and sure of himself he really is.

[jman311]

but... is that normal?? I thought guys were like.. meant to hate it.

 

Oh dear no. Sometimes I want to do that more than anything in the world! I've even on occasion done nothing but that...

[itsallgrand]

Oh dear no. Sometimes I want to do that more than anything in the world! I've even on occasion done nothing but that...

 

.......

[Lunabelle]

let me get this straight, you give him head, but he won't reciprocate?

 

he's out the door!

forget about him!

 

just say, see ya' later and move on!

 

funny he doesn't mind how many peni you had in your mouth.....which they say is a whole lot "dirtier" than your, well, you know........

[Lunabelle]

Never sleep with a man who will not go down on you.

 

This, right here, this is the BEST advice I've ever seen on this site.

 

Listen to it. Memorize it. Follow this rule faithfully. You won't be sorry.

[TiredMan]

Well I can't speak for the guy personally but can for myself. The number of partners means a lot to me too. But also, it depends what the situation is. For a fling, I don't care if the woman has many former partners. For a g/f or more, of course I care. if she has a lot, then I wouldn't be with her in that way. If I found that out later on (she didn't tell truth in beginning) and was in love, I would leave her because I don't like dishonesty. So I understand where that emotion comes from.

 

In terms of someone liking to get oral and not giving, that is just wrong. Does he ask you to go down on him or do you just do it yourself? If he asks you, just say you won't til he does. In terms of him worrying about an STD, then get checked. If a relationship is going to be serious, it's probably better to get checked anyway just in case. If after that, he doesn't wanna do it, then obviously you have to decide if you want that.

 

Hope that helps.

[SxcLady]

Nicely said Tiredman

[truthbetold]

Me and my boyfriend had this problem before...kinda. I told him when we first started going out I didn't really like giving head, but I still did it a occasionally. But he went down on me the first time we slept together. Problem was he like never did it again. I started to get nervous and self-conscious, but I talked to him about it and he said he never really liked going down on girls, so in our situation I told him that since I don't like going down on guys much and he doesn't like going down on girls much, that if I do it to him he should do it to me and visa versa. And because we love each other, we agreed. Sometimes I go down on him and don't ask him to give me any, and sometimes he goes down on me and doesn't ask for any in return either. If it's occasionally that your not getting any, or if you can agree on no one getting any that's fine. But other than that I think he has issues. If everyones cares about how many people their partner has been with that's a problem. It shouldn't matter because you are the one they are with currently.

 

Personally I think he may need to be more comfortable before he goes down on you...but I would use the method of you don't go down on me I won't go down on you. Sex should fulfill the urge, and if that fails he'll probably end up cheating on you (unless he really does love you) and you can drop him, before or after that.

[TiredMan]

I feel for a real relationship, the number of partners does matter. For me, it tells me what kind of choices she has made. I go for a certain type of woman, and one with many partners would NEVER fit that mold. Now for a fling or just someone to have sex with, that is fine.

[jimthzz]

People don't get offended it you insist on using a condom for sex, but those very same people get all huffy about using a dental dam for oral sex.

 

He probably has a worry about what he could catch--despite your assurances. But he may not know about the dams or may think you'd be offended if he brought it up.

 

Can you get one and see if he would do it then?

[Cadence308]

Sounds like a lame excuse to me!!! I think you should dump him unless he is willing to reciprocate. Then find yourself a lesbian, and one who is experienced at entertaining the female genitalia).

[pumkin_fairy]

He is so selfish and completely out of order!!!!

 

DUMP HIM NOW!

 

(sorry if repeated haven't read any other coments!)

 

jen

xxxxx

[onmyownagain]

Wow, my wife has always refused to give me a blow job, but I have gone down on her. Should I dump her? Seems a bit drastic.

[Venturer]

it might be a power or control thing... I don't know.

[7CardStud]

He is probably worried about being judged on his preformance... I know I was definatly hesitant with my g/f because I was afraid of her thinking (what is he doing...) Because I've never been with a girl, and she has been with a few. So that might be a possibility...

[Lunabelle]

I think oral sex is a much more intimate act than intercourse...

 

Yep. You said it and you are right.

[TiredMan]

Wow, my wife has always refused to give me a blow job, but I have gone down on her. Should I dump her? Seems a bit drastic.

 

I would. That shows me a selfish personality.

[Day_Walker]

It depends on your perceptions of oral sex, in the past it was viewed as something that was more intimate than sex. It was often called porn star sex. It seems now that there has been a paradigm shift, oral sex is looked at as something leading up to sex because you cant get pregnant from it, it is deemed as something safer to do. Especially if you dont have access to birth control.

 

I think each persons views on oral sex tell a little story about that person, as far as it being more intimate or less intimate than sex it is a subjective matter.

[onmyownagain]

I would. That shows me a selfish personality.

 

But she doesn't like doing it and has never tried doing it to me or any past partners. Who am I to force her to do something she finds distasteful?

 

I have had oral from girls in the past and it is not good enough to throw away a marriage over

[TiredMan]

But she doesn't like doing it and has never tried doing it to me or any past partners. Who am I to force her to do something she finds distasteful?

 

I have had oral from girls in the past and it is not good enough to throw away a marriage over

 

If she doesn't like to do it, that's fine. That's a personal choice whether a guy wants that. If he is ok with it, then of course, it's fine. BUT, she shouldn't ask for oral or accept it, in my eyes, as it is a serious double standard.

 

It would be like her saying "hey I don't like buying gifts so I won't give you any presents. But make sure you give me presents" I'd be like * * *? Get out! lol