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Does he actually like me..or just want sex?


katy0
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I'm almost 19, and I was at a grad party about a month ago and I met this guy ... well I already knew him, he is one of my ex's buddies, but we just had hardly talked before. We both ended up getting quite drunk and I'm not one for dirty dancing, but we danced and grinded all night lol. And I had a really good time hanging out with him all night. Ever since he's been texting me every so often. At the start it was mostly when he was drunk and he'd flirt and bring up sex. We partied together twice since then and I had fun with him in person, he just acted like one of my guy friends and we just talked and partied. But when we'd text he'd be all sexual and give me like 1-2 word answers and always ask to hang out. Then last week, he randomly asked if I like him and I told him I didn't know because I barely knew him. He asked later if I was wheeling anyone and I said no, not really ... then I asked if he was wheeling anyone and he said ya, maybe you and he seemed kinda shy about saying it and changed the subject right away. He's been texting me more lately but he's been writing full texts, not one word answers and we actually talk about real stuff. So, I am confused as whether or not he actually likes me or if he just wants me for sex. My ex and I barely did anything sexual because I'm a virgin and I am positive that he would've told this guy that. Maybe he just thinks I would because of how I was dancing at the grad party? But why would he ask me if I like him etc and text me all the time if he didn't like me? Maybe its a little of both? I tend to fall for guys easily, so I'm trying not to start to like him if all he wants is sex. What do you think? Why hasn't he given up yet if all he wants is sex? And he's never even tried making a move on me, like even a kiss.

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Hmm, I guess you can never really tell. Sure he likes you. But weather or not all he wants sex? Who knows? You can take a chance, an progress with things, and just not have sex for a while. If he sticks around its more likely that he actually likes you.

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firstly what is "wheeling".... crazy youths with their crazy words!

 

if he's always contacting you with sexual under/overtones then all he's after is sex. If he wants to take you out for dinner or a movie, he wants to get to know you (so that he can have sex with you). Pretty simple really.

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I agree with Symbolic. He seems to show that he is attracted to you but as for only wanting sex, it depends on how long he will he be at your side. If his intentions are sincere, then he would take it at your pace. Just don't end up being a tease all the time. Men hate that. They consider that your leading them on for nothing. Make sure to get it clear thru them that your more for a meaning relationship.

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He wants you for sex, yes - certainly, but is probably also trying to get to know you better to find out if more should be pursued.

 

You have to decide for yourself if you want only sex too (if you are into that), or if it is worth it for you to get to know him better to possibly start something up with him (if you are into that).

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firstly what is "wheeling".... crazy youths with their crazy words!

 

Exactly what I was thinking.

 

I do kind of agree with you Tuxthecutey, that if his text are very sexually toned, that is probably a bad sign as far as relationships go. Although, it occurred to me that as a virgin, the OP may be overly sensitive to suggestive flirting, which is not always a bad sign.

 

I'm sure the guy wants to have sex with you, as will be the case with most guys. Although, if he knows you are a virgin, it would surprise me if he just wants to "hit it and quit it". He would have to be a first rate * * * * * * * . Most players I think would be scared away of virgins (clingers) I would think. Up to you though, nothing you described the guy doing seems all the bad to me. Sounds like he is really into you.

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Sorry, by doing the "dirty dancing" with him you basically set the tone of the relationship. Now there is no way to know if he likes you for you or if he is just interested in the sexual aspect of a possible relationship.

 

It sounds like the poor guy can't win whatever he does. If he kisses you, then you may think he's just looking for sex, and if he doesn't kiss you then you think he doesn't like you. Why not focus on whether you like him or not? It sounds like how much you like him is completely determined by how much he likes you.

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I'm going to say he wants you for sex. Only because he's a young man, you danced dirty with him, and he talks dirty with you. You're a nice girl and some guys get a thrill from hitting it with the virgin. I had a friend in high school that practically made it a sport and he was the league MVP.

 

I'm not suggesting that's the only explanation but either he's painfully immature, gets a thrill out of shocking you, or he wants you for sex.

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Is he actually dating you? By that i mean, calling you up, asking you to go out on a date, and then you go out and do things together alone? Or is it all texting?

 

I think if he's not actually asking you out and is just sending dirty texts, then he is trying to see if you will agree to sex. If he's genuinely interested in you, he'll take you on dates and spend time with you, not just text you.

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I think you've got the opportunity to change the tone of the relationship (if it is a relationship). If he sends you a dirty text, say something like, "Hey, I like you but I'd like to keep our conversations out of the gutter. We don't really know each other that well. Want to get together for coffee and have a real conversation?"

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I think you've got the opportunity to change the tone of the relationship (if it is a relationship). If he sends you a dirty text, say something like, "Hey, I like you but I'd like to keep our conversations out of the gutter. We don't really know each other that well. Want to get together for coffee and have a real conversation?"

 

I agree; basically this is what I was going to suggest. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable talking about sex so much with someone you barely know, and suggest going on dates, but ones that normally occur during the day and end before like 8 or 9pm. Like coffee as Sunflour suggested. Or maybe going to the zoo or catching a matinee. If he goes for it and is still interested, tell him that you take things slow and you aren't a fast mover. He will either stick around, letting you know it isn't just about the sex, or bail, and then it doesn't matter.

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But she's hung out with him twice after...and all he did was just act like a friend? If he was a player who was after sex, he would have made a move on her already the second time they hung out, or at least a third time.

 

If he's acting friendly when you are around him, not calling you, and sending you text messages, even racy ones... this sounds like the case of a kind of immature, shy, confused guy.

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Hey its hard to tell at times, men has their own way, of being mr. right, taking it slow until they get what they are after, and then go, but at times there are some genuine ones, but in that case, i won't advise you to date him, its bad to date your ex buddies hun, dont do the mistake i did.

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