Let's talk about the heart of my issue here

[Crazyaboutdogs]

People reply on this forum to help. Annie is a long-time respected poster on this forum who has a lot of great input. I think this comment you have made above may be precisely what we are getting at regarding your attitude and maybe that is part of the reason why your bf family has an attitude towards you. Sure they may be biased against successful white collar workers, but your attitude likely doesn't help matters if your attitude with them is the same as your attitude towards posters who are not telling you what you want to hear.

[Ms Darcy]

I think this is generally very true.

 

My H and I match up on all these fronts except for "race". I'm from the sub-continent and he's got a chinese background. You'd think that's a big difference but as it turns out, the different cultures and our upbringings have massive similarities - which are also very different to the way anyone with "western" roots were brought up. So its a delight and a bonding experience to say "oh my god.. you're parents are like that too!" or to say to each other "you know asian parents" and roll our eyes with a chuckle. So its amazing how great it is to bond with each other on the similarities.. and as against the rest of the world on their differences. It also definitely helps to understand each other and be empathetic. It just makes for peace over all.

 

I agree with this. It gets sticky suggesting that people should date/marry someone of a similar race because people from different races can and do have successful marriages often when they share similar values.

[MissKnowitall]

You can find similarities between any two cultures and it depends on what similarities are important to you. As I mentioned, my bf and I are from similar cultures, same age, have very similar fundamental values and religious convictions. He respects his mother and doesn't have trouble in sticking up for me when necessary.

 

My bf is an amazingly intelligent man. I enjoy talking about religion, politics, economics, health care, poverty, and other issues with him and find his insight to be well-balanced and refreshing. He is also street smart, funny, thoughtful, grounded, down to earth, passionate, and compassionate. He is level headed, considerate, loyal, very trustworthy, has upstanding character and honorable. He has a gentle demeanor but also strong in his convictions. He is not afraid to stand up for what he believes in and speak for what he knows to be right. He appreciates the traditional roles of the man and woman in a relationship as I do and has never taken me for granted. He has great taste and incredible talents working with his hands. I love when he comes home after a hard day at work all sweaty and smelly. I enjoy listening to him talk about his work and he excites me with the passion he has for what he does. He does not judge. He is not afraid of things that are unfamiliar to him and is always willing to try new things. He is athletic and enjoys playing sports with me. He really cares about the people close to him and is the most loving, empathetic, strong man I have ever known. He is dependable and someone that you can always count on. He is someone you will often find helping strangers and will literally give the shirt off his back. There isn't a person that meets him that doesn't marvel at how nice he is and is well liked for obvious reasons. We have many many interests in common, we get along amazingly, and communicate openly and effectively.

 

I really don't think his parents are going to be able to come between us but appreciate your insight Crazyaboutdogs. I'm sure that Annie is a respected member of this forum and I'm not going to say that there weren't responses by me that should have been less defensive. I do not appreciate having statements taken out of context, twisted, and continually thrown in my face.

 

For anybody that is unable to see what I am talking about, I welcome you to PM me for clarification and further discussion on the matter. If your response is to weigh in your opinion of my attitude then I welcome you to PM me as well.

[DN]

We have many many interests in common, we get along amazingly, and communicate openly and effectively.

 

Then no doubt the two of you will be able to resolve the issues you have about his family and his taste in decorating and furnishing your apartment to your mutual satisfaction without difficulty.