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Net stalking not always bad?


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First of all I admit. Im weak. I cannot controll myself to not look up her web profiles(which infact are devils plots when it comes to relationships)

 

But there are good sides to it as well. I've seen my ex in totally new light looking for pictures and chats out there. She seems completely different person to what I knew and when we were together. So actually it has make my healing process somewhat easier since I've noticed she was not at all what I thought to be. My mind just build her to be something totally beautifull and unique. I actually saw some pictures of her new date and he seems to be totally different to me. I mean if she in reality is the way she is now and wants to date a guy I would never associate in real life then obviously we were never meant to be together. Makes sense does it not? This is kind of arrogant to say but I do believe she downgraded from me(in my catogories, which is what matters to me) with the new guy.

 

Just posting to create some discussion to this issuse since everyone seems to think checking em up after breakup is always bad. Its easier to bust the bubble of them being that awesome if you see the new them. This is my case and I understand what it probably wont work with most of the breakups.

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It does make sense to me. She probably did 'downgrade' from you. Is this other guy a classic rebound? I think your mind does build things up to be glossier and rosier than reality. I think sometimes our exes make us feel like they are having the time of their lives with someone else to validate themselves leaving you and the relationship you once had. You are pretty thick skinned for being able to bare looking at facebook pics right? Every time I used to look at my exes facebook and saw new pics it made me feel sick.

 

I still recommend not going to those social networking sites on your ex as you will heal much faster if you don't.

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I have no idea if its classic rebound or not. She wanted to be free of commitments altough "I was everything she ever looked for in a men" (makes me laugh now) and a week or two later she is with another guy. He was probably in the picture earlier than that. Does not matter.

 

Of course it killed me inside but day after day i am becoming stronger and wiser. And next time I trust my gut feelings better before my hormones take over and cloud my judgement. Its hard to let go off the dreams one builds and its even harder when at the same time you lose your faith in people that you truly loved and who probably lied to you.

 

To be honest im seriously thinking of calling this whole relationship thing over and living my life with my friends.

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Sounds like what my ex did. She said she didn't want a relationship with anyone but at the same time she was seeing this guy straight away. She rebounded so fast it made my head spin. I should have not even bothered to see her, as 'friends' after does not work. Too right he was probably in the picture earlier! my ex was going to university with this guy for a year before we broke up.

 

It is really sad when you have to let go of things and you have to force to detach yourselves from them but it is the only way if they have left you. I have no doubt too that I truly loved my ex but she did lie to me too. Don't become hardened over this as its not fair to other people in the future. Just learn from this experience and accept it for what it is.

 

Keep your head up and NC.

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Net Stalking is bad. No matter what way you look at it. Get rid of her profiles. You're only delaying your healing. I did it for 4 months and regret not getting rid of her sooner. I've healed more in the last 2 months by going cold turkey than I did in those 4 months of net stalking. Cold Turkey is the only way to go. I don't know or cannot see what she is doing and as each day passes, I care less and less.

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Man it's scary how much I can relate to this post. I've been NC for about 3 weeks now. Just had a short-lived relationship with an awesome girl......or so I thought. Her behavior began changing out of nowhere and she broke up with me. I couldn't figure it out cause I thought I was doing all the right things. I bumped into her out with some guy last weekend, and she was going on and on during the break-up speech about how she didn't want to date and she needed time to figure herself out. Yeah right. So I looked at her Facebook briefly the other day for the first time since we parted ways. WOW! I was shocked at how different that picture was then the one she painted with me. Definitely tons of loser guys (potheads, gymrats, etc.....). I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but it made me feel better about what happened. I deleted her off my list and I'm not looking back. Check em out one time to see what they're really like, then delete and move forward. I've had some rough days here and there, but I know there is a better woman out there for me than that one! Good luck to all and stay strong.........

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Net Stalking is bad. No matter what way you look at it. Get rid of her profiles. You're only delaying your healing. I did it for 4 months and regret not getting rid of her sooner. I've healed more in the last 2 months by going cold turkey than I did in those 4 months of net stalking. Cold Turkey is the only way to go. I don't know or cannot see what she is doing and as each day passes, I care less and less.

I concur!

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*tosses in 2 cents* It never hurts to do anything if you can handle it. People protest net-stalking because a lot of people can't handle it. The pictures of the ex, their face, their smile their eyes, their hair-- brings nostalgia, brings realization they're gone, brings pain. Their quotes, their messages, their little statuses, their thoughts you used to share, now gone-- brings pain. That rush of blood through your chest, make your eyes water kind of sadness.

 

I think you lucked out, you saw some things you can make yourself feel better about. Other people, will rarely fare as well... So while it's admirable to look on the positive side of things, in this environment, it doesn't hurt to broadcast caution when so many people need that external warning. And it never hurts to not look.

 

Summary: Does more harm than good.

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