Do you think less of people who have little to no sex?

[Mia_of_Doom]

No I don't think of any less of people who abstain for whatever reasons. But I do think it's unhealthy to repress sexual desire. Even if it's masturbating, it's good for your body and mind to have a release. Masturbation's been proven to release stress and (for the ladies) relieve menstrual cramps.

 

Also I have to echo cat_lady's question: Do people who have less/no sex think less of people who want it often? That's certainly the vibe I feel.

 

I have sex because I want to, not for validation. I'll admit sex is physical for me, not emotional. I have sex with my BF to express how attracted I am to him and let him know how sexy he makes me feel. I show my love for him in different ways, ie: cooking food, listening to him, making him laugh, etc. Sex is secondary to love, and we have plenty of both. We're monogamous and have sky high sex drives so why not?

[Cognitive_Canine]

Why would it bother me?

[sanadee]

to play devil's advocate, why should a person always be on the hunt for sex? Because society says so? Just because? Is there any other reason that doesn't have a shallow rationale?

[Mia_of_Doom]

How about if they just have a high sex drive and enjoy doing it?

[ay0_x]

My parents have not had sex in about 10 years. It has taken their toll on their relationship immensely. It's because of my mother's weight and because of my father's aggression.

 

It's not something I would wish on anyone.

[Carl5000]

Exactly. That's what I've been noticing lately and it really bugs. These are the same type of people that look down on others who aren't doing the same thing

 

Well exactly. Think about how we get self esteem, by putting overselves into an elevated position over others. I've had problems sexually over my small penis size. Many ex friends who knew about my lack of success or inexperience would use me for a self esteem boast. "Hey, when was the last time u got laid hahahahah" etc, etc Btw this ARE ex friends. As i dont listen to BS and people trying to belittle for their personel gain. But you'd be suprised at how many people do it.

 

Also the virginity tag is the same for thing(not that i'm a virgin). Who cares if x,y,z is a virgin. But it's like a cultural thing, where people try to validate their way of life and can't think for themselves. As a man the more partners the better and i'm superior and better than people who haven't slept with as many women. With women the reversal, i'll tell people i've slept with less as i don't want them to think i'm a 's1ut'.

[Carl5000]

I don't understand either. If I even glance at my bf's crotch area - I want to have sex with him. It has nothing to do with fitting into society or being expected to have sex all the time. I just can't help myself and need to take care of it - its like being hungry, you can ignore it for only so long until you can't think about anything else. Fortunately, he has a really high sex drive as well, so it turns out really well.

 

The question is - do people who have little to no sex or lower sex drive think less of people who want it all the time?

 

ye and to the poster who said you can live without and have respect for people who abstain. I think nobody can realistically abstain and be psychologically healthy. I went yrs without sex and i mentally suffered from it. We are wired, all have inate drives for sex, care and attachment and if these aren't fulfilled your usually end up with depression or anxiety - some disorder haha. Obvioulsy, you do get exceptions to the rule. I'm not one of them though and i doubt very few people are.

 

Overall our brains are neurologically wired to hook up, form bonds, connection with people for the continuation of the species. What happens when you go against it's willing, instincts then it will make you suffer. I'll suffered alot over the yrs. But you deal with and i take responsibility for my problems(most of it) or insecurity. Btw, we apparently have 3 internal, emotional wirings for care, attachment and sex and how psychologists found out about these, i don't know. But some are more dominate that others. Were usually end up with partner who fills the most dominate one of these in the system.

[InBruges]

I think nobody can realistically abstain and be psychologically healthy.

 

The suffering you're speaking of comes from lack of connection and lack of purpose. Many people that are socially unhealthy - trapped by fears, stagnant in their emotional growth, and consistently longing for an emotional connection that is absent - will not do well in physical solitude. But it isn't for lack of the physical, but rather a lack of something far more broad and general to the human spirit.

 

Sex and physical intimacy are meant to mirror a connection to the divine source. When these acts are abused or raised as gods themselves, they can become quite unhealthy. And when these acts are completely absent, if the person does not have a full confident sense of his/her own worth and purpose, then that situation can be unhealthy.

 

The physical is, and never has been, the purpose in life. We are eternal beings, meant for eternal purposes. Sex is like a day drinking wine in a vineyard or like a day on the beach watching the sunset on the water - it's just one of many things meant for a time of enjoyment. But too many people make it to be too important... they structure and shape their lives around its necessity and thus fully miss the larger purposes and joys for their lives. And just as bad, they miss out on more chances to be a light to others.

 

In any case, it's a physical impulse. It doesn't control us unless we let it. But a lot of people see this life, this physical world as all there is. So for them, they lead and are led by it. And that's all there is.

[BronzedSkin123]

How is it repressing your sexual desire if you don't want to have sex all the time? It's not unhealthy. You aren't going to die, and the world is not going to come colliding down on your head. I am so sick of those labels associated with people who don't feel the need to be screwing someone every second of the day

[BronzedSkin123]

ye and to the poster who said you can live without and have respect for people who abstain. I think nobody can realistically abstain and be psychologically healthy. I went yrs without sex and i mentally suffered from it. We are wired, all have inate drives for sex, care and attachment and if these aren't fulfilled your usually end up with depression or anxiety - some disorder haha. Obvioulsy, you do get exceptions to the rule. I'm not one of them though and i doubt very few people are.

 

.

 

 

I disagree with this. Why are you trying to convince people that it's unhealthy when it's not? It's really the peer pressure from other people say it's unhealthy, it's wrong, you are weird that causes the anxiety and depression. Seriously, if it weren't for the pressure that comes from other people, most would not feel the need to always be having sex, or to always have a partner most of the time. I didn't even know this stuff was that important to ppl until I started reading message board forums and hearing people talk about it all the time.

 

There are people who suffer from anxiety and depression when tehy are in a sexually active relationship/marriage and have friends. So the argument that you won't suffer from this if you are having sex all the time, and with somebody is inaccurate.

[jonny15]

I could never obstain if I wasn't a virgin.

 

I don't see how anyone can.

 

I can hardly go a day without masturbating a couple of times.

[BronzedSkin123]

I could never obstain if I wasn't a virgin.

 

I don't see how anyone can.

 

I can hardly go a day without masturbating a couple of times.

 

You have too much time on your hands, that's why. If you are doing things during the day, a job, hobby, then you wouldn't have time to masterbate two times a day. I know most people do this when they're bored and their minds are wandering

[jonny15]

You have too much time on your hands, that's why. If you are doing things during the day, a job, hobby, then you wouldn't have time to masterbate two times a day. I know most people do this when they're bored and their minds are wandering

 

I'd probably still do it no matter what.

 

Who doesn't do things they enjoy?

 

It's also a good way to relase sexual tension.

 

It kinda calms the urges down.

[BronzedSkin123]

I'd probably still do it no matter what.

 

Who doesn't do things they enjoy?

 

It's also a good way to relase sexual tension.

 

It kinda calms the urges down.

 

Yeah, but when you said, "I don't see how anyone can". You're making it seem as if its something wrong with others who don't do it all the time. It's something that YOU cannot go without.

[jonny15]

That's why I said it that way. Because from my own personal experience, I don't see how someone can.

[BronzedSkin123]

That's why I said it that way. Because from my own personal experience, I don't see how someone can.

 

 

that's the problem right there.

[Scorpion Fury]

that's the problem right there.

 

and you're making it seem like there's something wrong with people that don't go without it. It's a pretty natural thing to want sex. It's human nature.

[cat_lady]

How is it repressing your sexual desire if you don't want to have sex all the time? It's not unhealthy. You aren't going to die, and the world is not going to come colliding down on your head. I am so sick of those labels associated with people who don't feel the need to be screwing someone every second of the day

 

You have too much time on your hands, that's why. If you are doing things during the day, a job, hobby, then you wouldn't have time to masterbate two times a day. I know most people do this when they're bored and their minds are wandering

 

OP - you seem to have a very black and white and a very negative view of sex. Sexuality is often the result of hormones and physiology - so a person who wants to have sex twice a day and a person who wants to have it twice a month are both within the range of normal. Most people fall somewhere in the middle.

 

I will give you that extreme nymphomania (or whatever the medically correct term is) is unhealthy. A person who's sex drive is that high needs to see a doctor. Likewise - asexuality is not normal either and needs medical attention as well. Every living thing has an innate need to reproduce - if it didn't, how would species continue to survive? Even if someone was naturally asexually - those genes would go extinct right away. Yes, there are some group of people that choose to abstain from sex - nuns, monks, priests. Once again, that is a moral choice for them and often at a cost - certain types of testicular cancers are more prolific in priests and monks than in normal population.

 

I don't understand the reason for this thread, but I would say that most people don't have an issue having an active sex life, pursuing hobbies and career, and being a stable and loving relationship. Usually, these go hand in hand. And usually, people don't go around judging, or even asking others, about their sex lives, so its only a big deal unless you make it to be.

[cat_lady]

How is it repressing your sexual desire if you don't want to have sex all the time? It's not unhealthy. You aren't going to die, and the world is not going to come colliding down on your head. I am so sick of those labels associated with people who don't feel the need to be screwing someone every second of the day

 

In one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare persons of comparable circumstances, age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards. Other studies (some rigorous, some less so) purport to show that having sex even a few times a week has an associative or causal relationship with the following:

 

- Improved sense of smell: After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This in turn causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain's olfactory bulb, its smell center.

 

- Reduced risk of heart disease: In a 2001 follow-on to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half. In reporting these results, the co-author of the study, Shah Ebrahim, Ph.D., displayed the well-loved British gift for understatement: "The relationship found between frequency of sexual intercourse and mortality is of considerable public interest."

 

- Weight loss, overall fitness: Sex, if nothing else, is exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories--about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or playing a spirited game of squash. The pulse rate, in a person aroused, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort. British researchers have determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men's Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented.

 

- Reduced depression: Such was the implication of a 2002 study of 293 women. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.

 

- Pain-relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraine. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.

 

- Less-frequent colds and flu: Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30% higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.

 

- Better bladder control: Heard of Kegel exercises? You do them, whether you know it or not, every time you stem your flow of urine. The same set of muscles is worked during sex.

 

- Better teeth: Seminal plasma contains zinc, calcium and other minerals shown to retard tooth decay. Since this is a family Web site, we will omit discussion of the mineral delivery system. Suffice it to say that it could be a far richer, more complex and more satisfying experience than squeezing a tube of Crest--even Tartar Control Crest. Researchers have noted, parenthetically, that sexual etiquette usually demands the brushing of one's teeth before and/or after intimacy, which, by itself, would help promote better oral hygiene.

 

- A happier prostate? Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. The causal argument goes like this: To produce seminal fluid, the prostate and the seminal vesicles take such substances from the blood as zinc, citric acid and potassium, then concentrate them up to 600 times. Any carcinogens present in the blood likewise would be concentrated. Rather than have concentrated carcinogens hanging around causing trouble, it's better to evict them. Regular old sex could do the job. But if the flushing of the prostate were your only objective, masturbation might be a better way to go, especially for the non-monogamous male. Having sex with multiple partners can, all by itself, raise a man's risk of cancer by up to 40%. That's because he runs an increased risk of contracting sexual infections. So, if you want the all the purported benefits of flushing with none of the attendant risk, go digital. A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.

 

While possession of a robust appetite for sex--and the physical ability to gratify it--may not always be the cynosure of perfect health, a reluctance to engage can be a sign that something is seriously on the fritz, especially where the culprit is an infirm erection.

 

Dr. J. Francois Eid, a urologist with Weill Medical College of Cornell University and New York Presbyterian Hospital, observes that erectile dysfunction is extension of vascular system. A lethargic member may be telling you that you have diseased blood vessels elsewhere in your body. "It could be a first sign of hypertension or diabetes or increased cholesterol levels. It's a red flag that you should see your doctor." Treatment and exercise, says Dr. Eid, can have things looking up again: "Men who exercise and have a good heart and low heart rate, and who are cardio-fit, have firmer erections. There very definitely is a relationship."

 

But is there such a thing as too much sex?

 

The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you're female, probably not. If you're male? You betcha.

 

Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman's overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman's tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.

 

Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician/gynecologist in Elko, Nev., concurs. If a woman is pre-menopausal and otherwise healthy, says Dr. Winch, her having an extraordinary amount of intercourse ought not to pose a problem. "I don't think women can have too much intercourse," he says, "so long as no sexually transmitted disease is introduced and there's not an inadvertent pregnancy. Sometimes you can have a lubrication problem. If you have that, there can be vaginal excoriation--vaginal scrape."

 

Women who abstain from sex run some risks. In postmenopausal women, these include vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch has a middle-aged patient of whom he says: "She hasn't had intercourse in three years. Just isn't interested. The opening of her vagina is narrowing from disuse. It's a condition that can lead to dysparenia, or pain associated with intercourse. I told her, 'Look, you'd better buy a vibrator or you're going to lose function there.'"

 

As for men, urologist Eid says it's definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than may actually be good for them.

[Carl5000]

I disagree with this. Why are you trying to convince people that it's unhealthy when it's not? It's really the peer pressure from other people say it's unhealthy, it's wrong, you are weird that causes the anxiety and depression. Seriously, if it weren't for the pressure that comes from other people, most would not feel the need to always be having sex, or to always have a partner most of the time. I didn't even know this stuff was that important to ppl until I started reading message board forums and hearing people talk about it all the time.

 

There are people who suffer from anxiety and depression when tehy are in a sexually active relationship/marriage and have friends. So the argument that you won't suffer from this if you are having sex all the time, and with somebody is inaccurate.

 

Come on, how many happy virgins do you see on the forums? how many problems in the suicidal forum are linked into interpersonal relationships. Maybe it's a funny coincidence.

 

Look at it from a biological level and if you take the work of Richard Dawkins the selfish gene "That humans are water carriers, replicator shells and just an advanced system to protect and increase the likelyhood of their genes moving forward. Were the case, the genes goal is immortality. " If we were created and made for the purpose, like cat lady stated to replicate. Then as a consequence, don't you think the genetic system would make a person suffer if they abstained from relationships and sex. I think in MOST, NOT ALL INSTANCES then the answer is yes. Of course, you might suffer from a neurosis, anxiety and depression in a relationship or from another problem. But i'm sure if a person lives a life of solitude and without any connection with others. It willl increase the likelyhood 10fold.

 

As for it being social conditioning and believe you need to sex to be happy. I see it the other way around. Our instincts, wants, needs, desires influence what we call social conditioning - they get projected around and we can relate to them.

[ghost69]

Yeah, but when you said, "I don't see how anyone can". You're making it seem as if its something wrong with others who don't do it all the time. It's something that YOU cannot go without.

 

i think once someone has a great sex session, it can become something they always want. i have no idea why some people hate sex either or choose not to engage as much.

[Day_Walker]

I do not think less of people who have little to no sex, or even no sex. With that being said I would look down upon who failed to realize that people are different and do not have the same urges as others.

 

There are situations in which I believe that a person can have sex for the wrong reasons and at the same time a person can abstain from sex for the wrong reasons.

[BronzedSkin123]

This is all rubbish

[BronzedSkin123]

Usually, they are unhappy because of how OTHER people view them. If it weren't for the peer pressure they wouldn't see anything wrong with not having as much sex as the next person. I know before I was aware of other people's sex lives I certainly did not care, and did not think people wanted sex as much as they did.

 

And let's not act like there are not unhappy people who are NOT virgins.

[BronzedSkin123]

i think once someone has a great sex session, it can become something they always want. i have no idea why some people hate sex either or choose not to engage as much.

 

 

I disagree.