Do you think less of people who have little to no sex?

[jonny15]

Usually, they are unhappy because of how OTHER people view them. If it weren't for the peer pressure they wouldn't see anything wrong with not having as much sex as the next person.

 

How about they are unhappy because they want sex but have failed to get it?

 

Why does it have to be peer pressure?

[Cognitive_Canine]

This is all rubbish

 

I'm with cat lady on this one.

 

It may not be some miracle drug but just about every one in the medical community agrees that sex does release endorphins and does reduce your stress.

 

However, this only includes healthy sexual behaviour. If you are out banging strangers for validation, it's not going to help you out.

[BronzedSkin123]

How about they are unhappy because they want sex but have failed to get it?

 

Why does it have to be peer pressure?

 

 

 

If you read their posts, it usually, "my friends make f un of me because I never had a date" or their relatives criticize them for not being in a relationship. If they didn't have the peer pressure from outsiders, they wouldn't be so unhappy with being a virgin or not being in a sexually active relationship

[Cognitive_Canine]

If you read their posts, it usually, "my friends make f un of me because I never had a date" or their relatives criticize them for not being in a relationship. If they didn't have the peer pressure from outsiders, they wouldn't be so unhappy with being a virgin or not being in a sexually active relationship

 

Neither of those quotes were about sex.

 

Plenty of people are capable of healthy sex.

[BronzedSkin123]

I'm with cat lady on this one.

 

It may not be some miracle drug but just about every one in the medical community agrees that sex does release endorphins and does reduce your stress.

 

However, this only includes healthy sexual behaviour. If you are out banging strangers for validation, it's not going to help you out.

 

 

The medical community says a lot of things that I don't find to be true or very beneficial, this happens to be one of them. Some of it I agree with, others I don't.

 

There are other ways to relieve stress, it certainly doesn't have to be sex. it's an option but its really not necessary at all

[cat_lady]

This is all rubbish

 

I guess your expertise would make you Dr. Skin?

 

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

[BronzedSkin123]

Nope. My age is not important. I do not want you judging me.

[Cognitive_Canine]

The medical community says a lot of things that I don't find to be true or very beneficial, this happens to be one of them. Some of it I agree with, others I don't.

 

There are other ways to relieve stress, it certainly doesn't have to be sex. it's an option but its really not necessary at all

 

It's definitely an option that I, and most people, will opt for.

 

There is really nothing wrong with a healthy sex appetite (and, by healthy, I do not mean large, I mean for the right reasons)

 

You seem to think that most people don't want to have sex but are pressured into it. I guess you just don't understand the sex drive that a lot of people have.

 

I had a friend in high school who was asexual. Nothing wrong with that at all. He was hard to understand sometimes. Like why he didn't jump on his girlfriend of 2 years (who ended up leaving him because she couldn't take his asexual ways). But, he is definitely a happy and healthy person.

[BronzedSkin123]

It's definitely an option that I, and most people, will opt for.

 

There is really nothing wrong with a healthy sex appetite (and, by healthy, I do not mean large, I mean for the right reasons)

 

You seem to think that most people don't want to have sex but are pressured into it. I guess you just don't understand the sex drive that a lot of people have.

 

I had a friend in high school who was asexual. Nothing wrong with that at all. He was hard to understand sometimes. Like why he didn't jump on his girlfriend of 2 years (who ended up leaving him because she couldn't take his asexual ways). But, he is definitely a happy and healthy person.

 

You are trying to paint those who don't have a high sex drive in a negative light by telling a story and then at the end concluding that the guy is lonely and without a s/o.

 

This is the peer pressure and the messages people like you send.

 

I don't even think your story is sincere.

 

I guess you just don't understand the sex drive that a lot of people have.

 

Your guess is wrong. People exaggerate and lie about the extent of their sex drive because of how it makes them look to other people

[cat_lady]

Nope. My age is not important. I do not want you judging me.

 

It's not meant to judge... but I do think that age makes a huge difference and would probably help people relate more to the post. Its one thing if someone in their 20's who is just inexperienced or hasn't found someone they truly care for and connect with asks about sex, its another thing if its someone who is older.

[Cognitive_Canine]

You are trying to paint those who don't have a high sex drive in a negative light by telling a story and then at the end concluding that the guy is lonely and without a s/o.

 

This is the peer pressure and the messages people like you send.

 

I don't even think your story is sincere.

 

He doesn't have an SO but that's because he doesn't want one. I'm not painting him in a negative light at all. He was one of my best friends through all of high school and one of the smartest guys I know.

 

Being asexual, he can't have a sexual gf. If he were to have a partner, he'd need one like him or at least with a low sex drive. Or else she'll be unfulfilled and unhappy.

[Cognitive_Canine]

 

 

Your guess is wrong. People exaggerate and lie about the extent of their sex drive because of how it makes them look to other people

 

Yes, you are completely correct. All sexual people lie and are really fake and actually hate sex but are too afraid to say so.

[BronzedSkin123]

Yes, you are completely correct. All sexual people lie and are really fake and actually hate sex but are too afraid to say so.

 

 

I'm not saying people don't enjoy sex, they just exaggerate the frequency and how great it is a lot.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'm not saying people don't enjoy sex, they just exaggerate the frequency and how great it is a lot.

 

I don't know anyone who does that. But, if they do, that's sad and unhealthy.

 

Some people probably do. But, it's not most.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Cat Lady..are you a sex therapist..I have to wonder how you got all that information on all those studies..was this an article you read or was this a series of literature reviews that you did. Also, who was sponsoring those studies that were done and what were the researcher's connections. Research as much as we would like to think is unbiased, often isn't. Statistics can be done in such a way as to skew results. What is the sample size of the population used? Did they compare sex with other forms of activity? What was the age group used in each of these studies? People can make information look impressive for those who are not in the know...hence you get newspaper reports saying "cure for cancer" when it is just a study and may or may not be proven over time. I take a lot of health studies with a grain of salt (not too many grains because it is proven that salt raises blood pressure) because one day a research group says one thing and then a few years later another group says something completely the opposite. One thing I do know is that you can't make generalizations about people regarding their health and well-being depending on their sex life. The body and mind don't exactly need sex to be healthy and happy. As for the testicular cancer...I would love to know which top notch journal and researchers showed that monks and priests are more prone to a particular testicular cancer.. Do you have the reference you can give for their peer-reviewed publication.

 

Sex sells...and people will say anything when it has to do with sex.

[BronzedSkin123]

I don't know anyone who does that. But, if they do, that's sad and unhealthy.

 

Some people probably do. But, it's not most.

 

 

I wouldn't blame a person who does lie, because people tend to mock those who don't have a lot of sex or never enjoy it.

 

But I tend to think most do lie and exaggerate.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I wouldn't blame a person who does lie, because people tend to mock those who don't have a lot of sex or never enjoy it.

 

But I tend to think most do lie and exaggerate.

 

 

I agree with you that most people have angst about sex because of all the peer pressure. It is not only virgins who are hung up about sex and feel insecure. People who have plenty of sex are also very insecure about it..they embellish their sex lives amongst friends and downplay their sex lives if they want to date someone and are concerned their number is too high. They worry if they will match up technically to their partner's exs. They worry if they are doing it enough...if they only do it 3 times a week and someone else they know does it 7 times a week they worry that something is wrong with their sex drive and that they are not normal. Sex creates a lot of hangups, not just for the virgins but for a great many people, even those with tons of experience...and it is indeed down to peer pressure, the media and everyone making fun of people. Even when people are having sex there are all kinds of crude jokes..jokes about sex tapes that are floating around, jokes about visiting prostitutes, jokes about performance, jokes about not getting any, jokes about being randy, jokes about being horny, jokes about being trampy, jokes about being a prude, jokes about being asexual. Wanting sex but at the same time mocking people who don't want sex or mocking people who are having sex. There really is too much sex on the brain and for something that is supposed to be very personal and private, it has become too public and people feel very insecure about it because of it being so public.

[cat_lady]

I wouldn't blame a person who does lie, because people tend to mock those who don't have a lot of sex or never enjoy it.

 

But I tend to think most do lie and exaggerate.

 

I don't think anyone would mock them. I wouldn't mock someone. But since its something that I enjoy, and most other people that I know enjoy, I'd be curious about why. Perhaps this person just doesn't like sex at all, or perhaps they just haven't found the right technique that works for them (and maybe I can help them figure it out and enjoy themselves too!)

 

Its like - if I met someone who didn't like chocolate (I've met one person in 26 years who doesn't like chocolate) - I'd just be curious about what they don't like it when I think its the greatest thing ever.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I now see where you got your information...from a 2003 article from the Business magazine "Forbes". link removed.

 

and this is how they start the article:

 

"Fans of abstinence had better be sitting down. "Saving yourself" before the big game, the big business deal, the big hoedown or the big bakeoff may indeed confer some moral benefit. But corporeally it does absolutely zip. There's no evidence it sharpens your competitive edge. The best that modern science can say for sexual abstinence is that it's harmless when practiced in moderation. Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female."

 

So already there is a bias and a putdown to those who are not having sex. Not surprsing...Forbes is not a health magazine, it is geared towards business people..and lots of randy business people on business trips need their sexual release and look to find it.

 

Here is another article about the health benefits of sex:

link removed

 

sure there are health benefits..but to make major generalizations about the overall health of people who have sex vs those who don't have sex based on those sample sizes is a bit far-fetched. People can have the same health benefits by choosing other ways to get enjoyment and relieve stress. If sex was the be all and end all then why are women who have been widowed in their sixties and remain celibate live on into their 80s and 90's and have no different health issues than their sexually active counterparts. There are plenty of very sexually active people with compromised health issues, super stressed etc as compared to their "asexual" counterparts. There is so much more to health and well-being than boiling it down to whether or not someone is having sex X times a week.

[cat_lady]

I wasn't trying to say that people who don't have sex are in bad health or that you need to do it to have good health.

 

I was just saying that most people do see it as a beneficial thing and several studies have show that people do experience positive affects of having sex.. which would probably encourage many of them to continue having it, peer pressure aside.

[jonny15]

If you read their posts, it usually, "my friends make f un of me because I never had a date" or their relatives criticize them for not being in a relationship. If they didn't have the peer pressure from outsiders, they wouldn't be so unhappy with being a virgin or not being in a sexually active relationship

 

 

Some might be that way. But not all of them.

 

I myself have nobody pressuring me to have sex. But I myself still want it.

 

People have a tendency to want things they don't have.

 

Espically if it's something so natural as sex.

 

And even the ones that you say have pressure on them to do it, still want it quite a bit.

[greywolf]

The question is - do people who have little to no sex or lower sex drive think less of people who want it all the time?

 

No not at all. Like SF said, I don't really understand why, but people are allowed to do whatever makes them happy.

[greywolf]

OP, I'm a little confused at the point of this thread. It seems you asked our opinion on something, and now you're telling us we're wrong. If you already knew you were right, then what's the point of asking?

[ghost69]

i think once someone has a great sex session, it can become something they always want. i have no idea why some people hate sex either or choose not to engage as much.

 

I disagree.

 

how can you disagree with that? like it's not possible. lol

[BronzedSkin123]

I don't think anyone would mock them. I wouldn't mock someone. But since its something that I enjoy, and most other people that I know enjoy, I'd be curious about why. Perhaps this person just doesn't like sex at all, or perhaps they just haven't found the right technique that works for them (and maybe I can help them figure it out and enjoy themselves too!)

 

Its like - if I met someone who didn't like chocolate (I've met one person in 26 years who doesn't like chocolate) - I'd just be curious about what they don't like it when I think its the greatest thing ever.

 

If someone didn't like chocolate, I wouldn't ask them why. we all have different taste buds, I don't expect everyone to like everything that I like. The same should go for those who don't have a lot of sex. And it doesn't equate that they don't like it either, just that they don't feel the need to do it all the time. I like chocolate too but I'm not stuffing my face with it everyday, several times a day

 

If sex were THAT great, then we'd be too preoccupied to do anything else in life. We wouldn't even be having this topic on enotealone because we'd be doing it right now.