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I finally did it...although probably not the "it" that first comes to mind...

shyguy83

By shyguy83
in Dating Advice

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shyguy83 Rookie

shyguy83

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I finally kissed a girl...kinda.

 

I invited her to go see a fireworks show, and picked her up at her house for the first time. Little did I know I was going to get to meet mom and grandma. We watched the show, and I drove her home. Gave her a hug after I let her out of the car, and was afraid I was about to chicken out again. I walked her to the door and helped her carry some stuff inside, and she followed me back out onto the step, and went after another hug. When I backed up, she kept holding onto me, and I decided I would go for it. But, since I'm still afraid of doing too much and driving her away, I just was aiming for a peck on the cheek. Then, BOOM, she turned and gave me one right on the lips. I totally wasn't expecting that, was only ready for the peck. So I just gave her a peck and went on my way. Hopefully I didn't screw it up too much.

 

Should I tell her that was the first time I did that? Maybe she won't think I suck if she knows the back story?

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Seymore Mentor

Seymore

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Nah, I'm far-far northwest, almost to the Wisconsin border...I probably shouldn't even consider myself a suburb, Crystal Lake. haha.

 

I know where that is. About 20 miles northwest of me. I have a friend who lives in Lake In The Hills and my family reuinions used to be in Johnsburg, so I'm kinda familiar as to where that is.

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dr_styles Collaborator

dr_styles

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Hey congrats! Although I can understand if you don't want those sorts of messages for something which is seemingly so common for everyone else. Sad when it's still unfathomable for eNAers like me.

 

Just going off my own thinking the only reason I can see for telling someone is if you're presuming they didn't like it, like you want to "justify" it being bad. Obviously we weren't there but it doesn't sound like you need to, and even then you really shouldn't.

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Knotty Explorer

Knotty

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That's great. It seems like she isn't shy by holding on to you after the hug and going for the kiss. I don't think you could find a better situation to get some experience. If you go on another date, then go for some making out. Don't put any more pressure on yourself to do more. I wouldn't tell her your inexperience until you more closer to sex or if she asks.

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tom1607307597 Community Regular

tom1607307597

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The update: when I was chatting with her yesterday, she flat out called me out on it. "That was your first kiss, wasn't it?" So I admit to it, and she said she was nervous too, but would "make sure the second was better".

 

I was thinking a good reply to admitting that was your first would have been "the next one is going to be 100 times better". Or something along those lines but she already said something close to that. Good job!

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shyguy83 Rookie

shyguy83

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So last Saturday we hung out again, went to see a movie that we had already both seen, and during the day, so not a very crowded theater. We sat near the back, which you'd think would have been a good shot for me to try #2 NOPE, some jokesters sat about 2 seats down from us, in a theater of about 10 people. I guess things went good though, because on the way to driving her home, we asked each other what we were up to Sunday, and I ended up inviting her to come over Sunday for BBQ and to watch a baseball game, and she wanted to. When I dropped her off at home, I felt much better about going for a kiss, and it was a LOT better than the first one (although it didn't take much to accomplish that).

 

She came over Sunday, and brought some cookies she baked just for me. Very tasty. We sat next to each other on the couch and watched the game, but I was too nervous to try and make a move of any sort. Some people at work told me I should have held her hand or something, but I feel really weird just grabbing someone's hand out of the blue. She had them folded in her lap. We decided to go to a park after the game, and I thought I had a pretty good private setup to try again. NOPE. Nobody for 10 miles near this park, and as soon as we sit down on the swings to talk, a group of bikers come by and start doing tricks in the vacant parking lot right next to us. FAIL. We went back to my house to drop me off, and thought I had another shot when I walked her out to her car. NOPE. Not one, but TWO neighbors, who are NEVER home, let alone outside in their driveways, were lurking and trying to start small talk just as she was getting into the car. I got another kiss before she left, and I think she might have tried to stick her tongue out some (of course I'm not sure, because I have no idea what that would be like), and she went on her way.

 

So yesterday comes along, she texted me asking what I was up to last night. Neither of us had anything to do, so we decided to go out for some coffee. We had some good conversation again like usual, but when I dropped her off back at her house, i just got a small peck (similar to kiss #1) before she got out of the car. I walked her to the door and tried again, but she turned her cheek and I only got a hug.

 

So...did I miss the boat on this girl? She seems to have backed off a bunch. Is she maybe embarrassed that she tried to tongue me and I didn't reciprocate? Or am I just thinking about this too much?

 

Either way, we are supposed to go out tomorrow to see a show, but I don't know if I should try again, or just wait to see what she does.

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Knotty Explorer

Knotty

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You know she wants to kiss you, so if people are around just kiss her anyway or else suggest that you guys go somewhere else. Take charge a little and let her know that you want to make out. There's no reason you couldn't have kissed anyway in the theater or the park.

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Roberto34 Rookie

Roberto34

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You know she wants to kiss you, so if people are around just kiss her anyway or else suggest that you guys go somewhere else. Take charge a little and let her know that you want to make out. There's no reason you couldn't have kissed anyway in the theater or the park.

 

Yeah bud, you're doing really good...but it's like Knotty says, you really shouldn't care that there's people around.

 

I'm 100% sure she doesn't care, and she's really WANTING you to "go for it" despite the morons that are around.

 

There's always gonna be people around, but be the man she wants you to be and just take charge of the situation at hand. Be yourself, be calm, but just confidently and slowly go in for what you (and her obviously) want.

 

Keep us posted, you're doing great, man!!

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Ammy Collaborator

Ammy

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Hey!!

 

Do it sooner rather than later. I know it's difficult, I too am so clueless about kissing... I have been kissed a few times, but never had a proper kiss cos I freak out! It has become problematic for me not being receptive... It seems this girl really likes you, but unfortunately if you don't kiss soon, things might get awkward and go awry!

 

Relax and go for it!

 

Ammy

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shyguy83 Rookie

shyguy83

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Yeah bud, you're doing really good...but it's like Knotty says, you really shouldn't care that there's people around.

 

I'm 100% sure she doesn't care, and she's really WANTING you to "go for it" despite the morons that are around.

 

There's always gonna be people around, but be the man she wants you to be and just take charge of the situation at hand. Be yourself, be calm, but just confidently and slowly go in for what you (and her obviously) want.

 

Keep us posted, you're doing great, man!!

 

Thanks. I am just very self conscious of what people around me are thinking. Or at least what I think they are thinking. Think Adam Sandler in Anger Management. I decided to go for the hand hold at the show tonight, and I really had myself worked up over that for no good reason. As soon as I reached over, she held on. HUGE relief. And I did manage to get a little more than the previous standard kisses tonight. Too bad there isn't a book I could read to get better. ](*,)

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Roberto34 Rookie

Roberto34

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Thanks. I am just very self conscious of what people around me are thinking. Or at least what I think they are thinking. Think Adam Sandler in Anger Management. I decided to go for the hand hold at the show tonight, and I really had myself worked up over that for no good reason. As soon as I reached over, she held on. HUGE relief. And I did manage to get a little more than the previous standard kisses tonight. Too bad there isn't a book I could read to get better. ](*,)

 

Dude, you're doing REALLY good. Don't worry about a damn thing!! 8)

 

You don't need a book or anything at all, just trust your basic instincts on this whole situation.

 

I understand being nervous about the people that surround you or whatever, but the only people you should be concerned with are you and her...that's it!!

 

You're there with her, she's there with you...embrace those moments. Relax, enjoy them, let your desires and instincts guide you. Don't worry about offending her, going to far...she's an adult, she'll help guide you and everything as to what is OK and all that.

 

Just be in the moments with her, that's all that matters...not anyone else and their thoughts that they don't even have...that's all in your head, bud!!

 

Keep doing your thing!! You're doing great!

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Dancergirl425 Explorer

Dancergirl425

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Don't be worried!! She's def really into you if she said that. And think about it this way you can only get better at kissing with each time you do it! I'm really shy sometimes around guys, but I remember to keep my head held high and just enjoy the moment. Good Luck with everything, but I know you'll be fine

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