You come in calm, cool and collected but..

[ajaxajax]

I have a Q regarding approaching some women

 

I came accross a lady working by herself in a jewellery store. I appeared cool, calm and collected and had a reasonable conversation with her about the store (even said "so everything in the store's Italian, even you right? - she said, "yeah (giggle)"). But, from the start, she appeared friendly but was not speaking too much. So, I took that she was giving a "thanks, but no thanks" in advance. So, I shook her hand, exchanged names and then went on our separate ways.

 

Was I right to have moved on or could I have done more in a case like this?

 

Thanks

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Your gut told you to move on so I think that you should follow your gut.

[ajaxajax]

You're right...besides, if you start the conversation and the woman doesn't really try to match your pace, you feel like it's harder to keep up the conversation, right?

[Cognitive_Canine]

She may not have said anything much more, but, it really depends on her body language.

 

Did she change her stance?

 

Such as, I assume there was a counter top between you and her seeing as how she was working. If she leaned against it or tilted her head or put her hand on either her hip or hair, she probably was interested.

[ajaxajax]

Well, she didn't do any of these. She was actually surprised that I offered to shake her hand. But that's all

[Cognitive_Canine]

Sounds like you did well in following your gut then.

 

If a girl likes you, she'll make some effort to let you know that she is interesting. We often do it more subtly though.

 

That is, unless she was completely inexperienced. Those are the scary ones, the ones that give you no indication. Best to avoid them anyway.

[itsallgrand]

It sounds like you did really well.

 

So, did you check out her hand?

[ajaxajax]

Since she didn't really do much, I just shook her hand. She gave me a gentle grip but that was it...nothing else

[itsallgrand]

Oh, I meant for a wedding or engagement ring.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She may not have said anything much more, but, it really depends on her body language.

 

Did she change her stance?

 

Such as, I assume there was a counter top between you and her seeing as how she was working. If she leaned against it or tilted her head or put her hand on either her hip or hair, she probably was interested.

 

I wouldn't exactly base interest level on those signs...people do stuff like that in general no matter who is standing near them.

[Scorpion Fury]

I have no idea. I wasn't there to see. But you don't really have anything to lose by just asking. Now you'll probably wonder "what if".

[ghost69]

you didn't say or do much either it sounds. not much for her to be all into a conversation to start.

[pinkelephant]

I wouldn't exactly base interest level on those signs...people do stuff like that in general no matter who is standing near them.

 

agree with this. i tilt my head all the time. esp when i'm bored. oh, esp when i'm bored. lol

 

from that OP, it's really hard to tell. i think you should just go for it next time and see how it goes. i mean, what's the worst that could happen? she says no? lol you can come and cry on here. we'll comfort you.

[ajaxajax]

Well, I said hello. I asked some questions about the store. But, judging by how she didn't "ease in", it was hard for me to keep going and easier for me to be hesitant.

 

No "what if's" in this...if she's not interested, so what?

[tastytoothpaste]

Let me just say props for approaching her!! I know that must've been hard to do. And cute line, by the way haha

 

Yeah I think you did the right thing. I mean I wasn't there to see the conversation, so it's hard to tell. But if you felt like she wasn't interested, she probably wasn't. You'll know when there's chemistry and interest on her end of things.

[ajaxajax]

And this interest comes rather quickly too and doesn't quite need "waking up" through conversation. I feel it's more about warming up both of ourselves into exchanging a number or Email addy for further involvement.

 

Besides, being friendly doesn't always mean being interested.

 

I've had a dating/women moratorium for myself and, within that period, I've found a couple of ladies who did not just act friendly but gave some unique giveaways (eg smiling, giggling, leaning forward, crossing one leg over the other when standing). I know I may have "missed" them, but I wanted to get my approaches right or nothing would work!