EQD Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 as nice as it is to believe that nothing that happens is ever your fault i'd advise caution against using that mentality. Link to comment
roctown Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 as nice as it is to believe that nothing that happens is ever your fault i'd advise caution against using that mentality. Well yeah, you could have been a creep or stalker or something or completely smothered her. Short of that I don't think you can be too hard on yourself. Link to comment
EQD Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Well yeah, you could have been a creep or stalker or something or completely smothered her. Short of that I don't think you can be too hard on yourself. picking the wrong women and ignoring red flags also are his responsibility too. Link to comment
waveseer Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Here's my opinion. The moment one person places how the other person feels about them over how they feel about the other person it's imbalanced. I would do best to ALWAYS concern myself more with how I feel about the other person than the other way around. Link to comment
roctown Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 picking the wrong women and ignoring red flags also are his responsibility too. Oh yeah haha I wasn't even thinking about it from that angle. Link to comment
Vince99 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 You're trying to use logic to discover the problem. This will not work. There are 4 factors at play here: 1. Your logic 2. Your feelings/emotions 3. Her logic 4. Her feelings/emotions The ONLY one of these that matters is #4. The other 3 might as well not exist. She DOES NOT CARE about 1 or 2 (no matter what she says), and she will IGNORE #3, assuming it even exists at all. You have no control. All you can do is be yourself, treat them well, and not get attached. (And DO NOT be their 'friend'!!) Link to comment
Symbolic Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 Well I'm certainly not playing games. This is all too complicated. It shouldn't be so easy to just dismiss someone. A guy can beat his girlfriend and she wont leave him but I can talk too much and its over lickity split. Even after all this "I love you" stuff, like it was all worthless. Link to comment
Symbolic Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 picking the wrong women and ignoring red flags also are his responsibility too. What are red flags? Has she killed anyone? Been convicted of a felony? Lol, I really don't know what I should be watching out for. Link to comment
EQD Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 What are red flags? Has she killed anyone? Been convicted of a felony? Lol, I really don't know what I should be watching out for. clingyness, instability, dependence, problems with drugs and alcohol, party attitude, not responsible, lack of motivation or direction. and poor common sense. to name a few. Link to comment
Symbolic Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 Everyone has something wrong with them right? I can't expect people to be perfect, I definitely wouldn't want them to expect me to be perfect. I don't know, I don't know anything, maybe I'll make a new thread on "things to X a girl out for!" Well thanks for everything, you all helped out a lot. I feel alright now, I'm tired its time for sleep! I'm gonna sleep in its my day off! Link to comment
EQD Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 i'll leave you with this... it is possible for standards to be too low.. and allow alot of useless trashy women in your life. take what you want and figure out what fits into that plan. there is a guy here who wants to find a 'good girl' but if a crackhead (literally) woman who never pays her bills comes along he will give her a chance. why? becuase of the 'we all have something wrong with us' attitude. he's so desperate for companionship he will accept all comers. as a result these women use him up and leave. because thats in their charachter. when we all tell him he could have avoided it by not accepting them. truth is, he really doesnt want a good woman bad enough to care. but if he would just hold out, reject these women until he finds a good one.. then he'd be richer (because he pays their late bills for them being 'nice') and he'd have time and opportunity for that woman to come and light up his life. instead he's wasting resources on deadbeats. He has the same problem.. they all say he is 'too nice' Link to comment
Symbolic Posted June 10, 2009 Author Share Posted June 10, 2009 Well, She has only guy friends. She smokes, ( I don't and it really bothers me that she does more than anything else) smokes pot (sort of hypocritical i used to but since joining the military it has changed my view of things), has no job, lives with her parents, had a very traumatic past, get angry easily (not at me but she says to others), drinks alot too. I guess when you look at all the bad things she sounds pretty terrible. None of these things made me think "hey she might be bad for me" I guess i have zero standards other than looks. I thought looks were all the standards you could have! But now I'm looking back at past girlfriends and seeing things I didn't like. I don't know how easy or hard it is to find a good quality girl, but honestly I don't think I have alot of bad problems myself, and I think I deserve better than to be treated like crap. Thanks for all the tips and stuff you guys (and gals) are great Link to comment
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