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Going to Costa Rica


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Hello everyone,

 

For those who know me it's been awhile since I updated about me. Anyway, I have been moving on fine. It's never smooth sailing but I can honestly say, I am happy. I claimed 2009 as my year and that is just what has been happening. Good things are happening to me in every aspect. However, I am still single and it doesn't matter because I don't need someone to keep me happy. I learned so much last year about myself and I am still growing stronger.

 

The memories are still there, but I'm not going crazy anymore. I miss her from time to time, but not like before where I would do anything to have her back. I've changed completely, seeing her the way she was/is has changed, as well. I've seen some members here say people don't change..I am living proof that people do and can change for the better. It has to come within! It wasn't an overnight thing because it takes hard work and hard work eventually pays off!

 

I want to get to my point...

 

I'm heading to Costa Rica next month for my friends Bachelor party (10 of us are going). Yes, it's going to be fun! I used to visit there and even lived there for 1 year in 2000 because I was in love with someone at that time before my recent ex. We were engaged, but when I came back to Beantown the distance made us drift apart. It was hard at first but we knew it was for the best.

 

She is a wonderful person and I can say she never treated me bad or hurt me the way my recent ex did. She emails me from time to time but I don't reply. The last time it was last month and I ignored it. I'm not trying to be mean, but at one point I felt lonely and started thinking about her again. I didn't want to call/email her out of loneliness when I was dumped by my ex (it would've been wrong of me and probably led her on). I stayed strong and never broke. She will be someone I will always cherish because how special she was.

 

I'm not sure if I should let her know I am heading there. Perhaps, we could meet to say, hello or whatever? I am not doing this for a booty call. I don't need that. I left everything behind in Boston for her once, and the love we had was one I thought would never break. It was my first serious relationship. Things always happen for a reason I will always believe that. I don't know if it is weird that I am there and I don't tell her. Would I be doing the right thing NOT letting her know? Once I found out about the trip immidiately my ex,ex popped up in my mind...lots of history!

 

Should I let her know I am heading there?

 

You guys are wonderful and you are one of the many reasons why I have healed the way I have since Dec. 2007

 

I will always be grateful to this place filled with wonderful souls!

 

Thanks for reading.

 

gee

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I can only say congrats at your recovery...you sound like a good hearted person....as per your ex in costa rica I'm not sure what to advise...if you have no feelings than why not reach out especially if she is as equally good hearted? Yet I will reread and give feedback later...on my very small BlackBerry .

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Surprise her! Why not having a relationship with her again? She was good to you and the only reason you guys didn't continue was because of distance...so if there was no bad blood ...hey ! Give it a go. Are you going to fly into San Jose? What part will you be at?? I love their coffee.....yummmmmmmm

 

Have fun!

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i would say no, it's not necessary or even advisable. you're going for a bachelor's party so focus on that, have fun, and be one of the guys. I think that if you even have doubts or questions about meeting her, then that itself is enough of a red flag not to.

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She is a wonderful person and I can say she never treated me bad or hurt me the way my recent ex did.

 

So why did you ignore her contact? There is a way to respond to someone without giving signals that there is something more. I think you should contact her and make amends for ignoring her attempts at friendship. The physical distance is too great for the two of you to have a future, but that doesn't mean the two of you can't be acquaintances rather than treating each other like strangers. If she ever found out you were in her town and didn't contact her, that would be a real slap in the face considering she treated you well. Why is it the people who have treated a partner well get the silent treatment and the ones who treated the partner poorly are the ones the person has a hard time letting go of.

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Hi Gee!

 

Fella, can I ask what your gut feelings are for letting this girls know you are going to be in her place?

 

Lovely to hear that you are doing so well mate - you have come such a long way!

 

Mark

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I can only say congrats at your recovery...you sound like a good hearted person....as per your ex in costa rica I'm not sure what to advise...if you have no feelings than why not reach out especially if she is as equally good hearted? Yet I will reread and give feedback later...on my very small BlackBerry .

 

 

Gracias canali!

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Surprise her! Why not having a relationship with her again? She was good to you and the only reason you guys didn't continue was because of distance...so if there was no bad blood ...hey ! Give it a go. Are you going to fly into San Jose? What part will you be at?? I love their coffee.....yummmmmmmm

 

Have fun!

 

I'm flying to SJ. But I'm heading to the beaches (Tamarindo) heard of any? Beautiful! I know CR like the back of my hand! Yes, coffee is good over there.

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i would say no, it's not necessary or even advisable. you're going for a bachelor's party so focus on that, have fun, and be one of the guys. I think that if you even have doubts or questions about meeting her, then that itself is enough of a red flag not to.

 

orange, I am focused on the party! But I am not nervous if I got in contact with her.

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So why did you ignore her contact? There is a way to respond to someone without giving signals that there is something more. I think you should contact her and make amends for ignoring her attempts at friendship. The physical distance is too great for the two of you to have a future, but that doesn't mean the two of you can't be acquaintances rather than treating each other like strangers. If she ever found out you were in her town and didn't contact her, that would be a real slap in the face considering she treated you well. Why is it the people who have treated a partner well get the silent treatment and the ones who treated the partner poorly are the ones the person has a hard time letting go of.

 

I already said why. At the time she was emailing me I felt lonely and probably would've said something I might not feel. It's true when they say when we get dumped we think about our ex,ex. This one treated me like a king I think that's the only reason why I thought about her. I am not a jerk to have ignored her. In fact, I think it was the best. I would've stirred things up in her head had I told her I missed her or wanted to see her (no need for more pain). I could've easily taken a trip to CR. I used to go to CR for the weekends when we were engaged. I used to do these surprise visits for her. You know what I mean?

 

Anyway, I emailed her after I posted this. I don't know but I did. She replied very early this morning. I think around 7am her time. She asked me how have I been and when, where and with who? WOW, she said. She seems excited. She also asked me why have I been lost. I told her I am never lost just have been busy with life. I guess I might see her after all.

 

I think overall the question I am asking myself is...How would i feel if I saw her again? It has been years.

 

gee

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Hi Gee!

 

Fella, can I ask what your gut feelings are for letting this girls know you are going to be in her place?

 

Lovely to hear that you are doing so well mate - you have come such a long way!

 

Mark

 

 

Mark, always a pleasure fella!

 

I guess I am curious to see how she is and see her family. They loved me like I was part of the family! I;m not over analyzing this at all. It's just a thought that popped up when the trip was planned.

 

gee

 

Thanks fella. You have been a big help!

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Small world! I live in Costa Rica myself, though over on the Caribbean side.

 

I'd give it a shot - at least email her and let her know you're coming, so she won't be surprised if she runs into you. See how she responds, see how you feel about the situation, and take it from there.

 

Here where I live we have a saying - what happens in Costa Rica stays in Costa Rica. It's the tropics, it's the Latino culture - what the heck? Have a good time, just do your best to make sure nobody gets hurt.

 

Pura vida!!!

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Small world! I live in Costa Rica myself, though over on the Caribbean side.

 

I'd give it a shot - at least email her and let her know you're coming, so she won't be surprised if she runs into you. See how she responds, see how you feel about the situation, and take it from there.

 

Here where I live we have a saying - what happens in Costa Rica stays in Costa Rica. It's the tropics, it's the Latino culture - what the heck? Have a good time, just do your best to make sure nobody gets hurt.

 

Pura vida!!!

 

I won't allow anyone to get hurt. I've felt that pain before. I wouldn't want to go through it again, or anyone.

 

Where in Costa Rica do live?

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Update

 

It seems lik she wants to see me, BUT she is married. She married someone since the last time we spoke. She just met him last year and she got married in Dec. I'm not emotional about it so we can eliminate that thought. I'm actually happy for her. But she still wants to see me and I think that will lead to more..maybe not. She seems excited to see me. Her husband lives in a different country..weird! Seems like she is into LDR like we were in the past.

 

I don't think I want to see her anymore. she gave me 2 numbers and to call her tonight. She told me she felt nervous that I was going to CR. She wants to see me!

 

gee

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Hi Gee

 

Under the circumstances I think you would be doing the right thing by not seeing her - it has got bad news written all over it!

 

Mark

 

 

Mark, I think you are right. I will just tell her I am not staying in her part of town.

 

I am still excited to get there and enjoy my time with my buds. This will be a trip to remember. No recording gadgets allowed.

 

Thanks for your support, Mark!

 

gee

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I won't allow anyone to get hurt. I've felt that pain before. I wouldn't want to go through it again, or anyone.

 

Where in Costa Rica do live?

 

I'm in Sarapiqui, ~2 hrs NE of San Jose. It's kinda the boonies out here, but I love it! I haven't been to Tamarindo - I usually stick to the Caribbean coast (my avatar photo is Tortuguero), though I loved Malpaís when I went there a few years ago.

 

Buene suerte y pura vida!

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I'm in Sarapiqui, ~2 hrs NE of San Jose. It's kinda the boonies out here, but I love it! I haven't been to Tamarindo - I usually stick to the Caribbean coast (my avatar photo is Tortuguero), though I loved Malpaís when I went there a few years ago.

 

Buene suerte y pura vida!

 

Have you been to Montezuma? I loved that place!

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Have you been to Montezuma? I loved that place!

 

Not yet, but I've heard great things about it! The only places I've been on Costa's Pacific coast are Malpais (awesome), Puntarenas (yuck!), and the Osa Peninsula (really awesome).

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I am amped about this trip! I can't wait to get out of Beantown.

 

So, I decided not to get in contact with my ex from CR whne I arrive there and just enjoy my stay there not worrying about anything!

 

I wanted to share one of the places I am going to stay at with the fellas...

 

link removed

 

gee

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