Want to get back with ex.

[Sam _]

I just got back in touch with my ex gf (we broke up a half a year ago ago) and we are good friends now. But I've always wanted to be with her as more and one of my friends told her this. She told me a few days later (yesterday) that she likes me but is not looking for a relationship with anyone right now because she needs to get everything settled right now (just got out of a big relationship, a lot of stress with bills, hard for her to find a job). Then she tells me that she would like to just be friends right now and that she wants to see where things go in the future. That what is meant to happen will happen but it won't happen until her head is settled.

 

I want to know how I can get things more in my favor in terms of being with her as more than a friend (when she is ready for a relationship of course)?

[annie24]

ironically, i think your best bet is to move on. give her plenty of space. you should keep meeting and dating new women. like, if she doesn't hurry up and get over her issues, some other lucky woman is going to snag you away!!!!

[annie24]

oh yeah, and maintain friendly and limited contact with her.

[annie24]

it's kind of like dealing with cats. if you chase them, they want nothing to do with you. if you sit quietly and are reading a book or are working on some project or putting something together, they come sniffing around, curious what you are up to that is so interesting....

[90_hour_sleep]

it's kind of like dealing with cats. if you chase them, they want nothing to do with you. if you sit quietly and are reading a book or are working on some project or putting something together, they come sniffing around, curious what you are up to that is so interesting....

 

haha...great analogy.. completely puts it's into perspective (at least for people who have cats).

[Sam _]

Well, the thing is I really want her. I keep meeting other girls but no matter what I still just want her. She told me that she is still in love with me but her feelings towards me aren't as strong as they used to be, which is why she wants to be friends and see where things go from there. The thing is that whenever we hang out at her apartment, she ALWAYS wants me to stay then night and when I stay the night she always sleeps in the same bed with me or has me sleep on the same bed as her.

[annie24]

i know you don't want to meet other women. but since she only wants to be friends with you, you should move on. for 2 reasons - 1 - you might like one of those women even better than your ex! and 2 - having you not focus and fixated on her might make her realize that if she doesn't step up and say she wants to get you back, then she just might lose you.

 

if she gets what she wants (that is, a little bit of physicality, and whole lot of your attention), then she doesn't really need to make a choice, she is getting what she wants. if you are a bit aloof, you can't hang out with her all your weekends, etc... she may wonder who else is talking to you and who else might snag you away!!!

[Capricorn3]

She told me a few days later (yesterday) that she likes me but is not looking for a relationship with anyone right now

 

Then she tells me that she would like to just be friends right now and that she wants to see where things go in the future. That what is meant to happen will happen but it won't happen until her head is settled.

 

I want to know how I can get things more in my favor in terms of being with her as more than a friend (when she is ready for a relationship of course)?

I think she's pretty much given you her answer and was fairly clear about it. It seems to me that she's really not too interested right now in getting back together. She said she would like to just be friends right now. Believe her.

 

I don't think pushing for more right now will work for you. Indeed, if you push too much, you'll push her away, permanently.

 

Accept that for now all you'll be is friends.

[Sam _]

I think she's pretty much given you her answer and was fairly clear about it. It seems to me that she's really not too interested right now in getting back together. She said she would like to just be friends right now. Believe her.

 

I don't think pushing for more right now will work for you. Indeed, if you push too much, you'll push her away, permanently.

 

Accept that for now all you'll be is friends.

I don't mean to push her into liking me or into a relationship right now. Her best friend just texted me saying that she (my ex) had been telling her that she doesn't know if she wants to be friends or if she wants more and that she had said to her that she is still in love with me. I was asking how to help better my chances of things developing into a relationship.

[Sam _]

i know you don't want to meet other women. but since she only wants to be friends with you, you should move on. for 2 reasons - 1 - you might like one of those women even better than your ex! and 2 - having you not focus and fixated on her might make her realize that if she doesn't step up and say she wants to get you back, then she just might lose you.

 

if she gets what she wants (that is, a little bit of physicality, and whole lot of your attention), then she doesn't really need to make a choice, she is getting what she wants. if you are a bit aloof, you can't hang out with her all your weekends, etc... she may wonder who else is talking to you and who else might snag you away!!!

Here is the problem with that though. She tends to give up easily sometimes. She may be depressed to death about losing me but would be hoping that the girl is better than her and stop persuing me due to that hope. I know her inside and out for the most part.