Love rejection

[krogen]

Hello,

 

A few months ago I fell in love with a girl. At first, I hid my emotions from her, with strong hope that she felt the same as me. We talked, I took her to a lunch a few times, and always helped her with classwork. Eventually, I told her about how I feel, through a text message. She reacted by saying that she likes me, but only as a friend, and offered help. I told her I will try to control my feelings, but soon enough I ended telling her the same thing. That time, she reacted by saying that "hopefully we will be able to be together... time will tell".

 

1. Would she say this to not hurt my feelings?

 

No matter what I do, deep inside I have a small glimpse of hope that everything will eventually turn out well, and her words will turn out to be true.

 

I would have probably ended the relationship already, but because I am taking a class with her this ended up being impossible. But with the schools end coming next week, I now have an option not to see her. But I want to see her.

 

2. Should I end this? If so, how?

 

Thank you for input.

[Keyman]

I think with classes finishing next week, it is an ideal time to take a step back from her and spend some time clearing your thoughts. This means going NC, just don’t tell her. If she likes you in that way, she will wonder why you have suddenly disappeared and hopefully make contact. If she doesn’t, then as I have said, you get a chance to clear your head and let your heart cool down a little.

 

This actually happened to me a couple of girlfriends ago. I wasn’t sure if she liked me, and didn’t want to tell her for fear of ruining the friendship, so I pulled right away. After a couple of weeks she contacted me asking why I wasn’t talking to her. I told her and we were together for 14 months.

[krogen]

I have a strong feeling that she will end up contacting me, but only because she still wants the friendship.

 

What did you say to her? Did you say to her, straight out, it's either this way or that way? I don't want to put her in a tough spot, but I also don't want to prolong the situation.

 

Thank you for help.

[velvette]

I was the girl in this exact situation. we were best friends, he said he liked me, I said I don't want a boyfriend right now (but maybe later, like in a few years). sound familiar?

 

this is what happened with us.

he pulled away, saying he couldn't be friends with me because of his 'feelings'.

I didn't understand (I'd never dated before at this point), and just felt he was mean for liking me only as a 'potential girlfriend', and not as a person. he quickly apologized a day later, and we were friends again.

 

weeks later, he still couldn't 'get over' his feelings, and went NC with me. this time felt final, I was angry that he would toss away our friendship just because he couldn't have me as a girlfriend. and he was sad that I didn't like him the same way. after a week of NC, he contacted me out of the blue at the exact time I was writing in my diary about how I missed him and how I think I made a mistake. (now, timing was crucial here, good luck contacting her at her weakest moment! lol) I literally dropped my pen and fell out of my chair when my cellphone vibrated. x__X

 

then I asked him out. and he said yes. and it's been almost 3 years.

 

if she seems like a genuine person, she probably means it, about waiting. however, she also possibly thinks of you as 'disposable'. like, you are less powerful, because you need her more than she needs you. by pulling back a bit, you might make her realize how much she actually needs you.

[Clarity]

How can you "fall in love" with someone you're not even in a relationship with.? Let's call it what it is - you became infatuated with this girl.