Guys with hang ups on overweight girls.

[live.ur.life]

Would it make a difference if the women had the most beautiful smile and beautiful face?

[tulipsfav]

Would it make a difference if the women had the most beautiful smile and beautiful face?

 

Unfortunately for a lot of people this probably would not make any difference. Some are just not attracted to overweight girls or guys, which is sad in a way because there a lot of people who are very beautiful and overweight but the weight is an issue.

[JenniferSNJ]

Unfortunately for a lot of people this probably would not make any difference. Some are just not attracted to overweight girls or guys, which is sad in a way because there a lot of people who are very beautiful and overweight but the weight is an issue.

 

I completely understand, but you do have to be attracted to your partner. I'm personally not attracted to overweight men. I'd like to be because it would make my dating pool larger, but I just haven't met any that I could see myself physical with.

[diabolik]

Unfortunately for a lot of people this probably would not make any difference. Some are just not attracted to overweight girls or guys, which is sad in a way because there a lot of people who are very beautiful and overweight but the weight is an issue.

What is sad is that there are so many people (women, from my perspective) who would look beautiful if they dropped the extra weight. And for many, it's just a matter of cutting out the garbage foods.

 

How many girls do you see in Starbucks ordering 300 calorie drinks, who would look so much better if they dropped 10-20 pounds? The grande frappuccino with whipped cream is 380 calories (and an awful 57/15/6 mix of carbs/fat/protein). 5 days/week for a year, that's 99k calories or 28 extra pounds. 28 pounds in 1 year! And people say that it's impossible to lose weight. ](*,)

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

What is sad is that there are so many people (women, from my perspective) who would look beautiful if they dropped the extra weight. And for many, it's just a matter of cutting out the garbage foods.

 

How many girls do you see in Starbucks ordering 300 calorie drinks, who would look so much better if they dropped 10-20 pounds? The grande frappuccino with whipped cream is 380 calories (and an awful 57/15/6 mix of carbs/fat/protein). 5 days/week for a year, that's 99k calories or 28 extra pounds. 28 pounds in 1 year! And people say that it's impossible to lose weight. ](*,)

 

To you, though. They would look better to you and whomever else. Maybe they are happy and someone loves them. Maybe they don't give a rat's ass what you think. And I would hope so.

 

But for the ones that do mind and are self conscious, then the work has to be done. But some people choose enjoying food and drinks over being thin. Not always a healthy thing, but it works for some people and it's not my business or yours, you know?

[diabolik]

To you, though. They would look better to you and whomever else. Maybe they are happy and someone loves them. Maybe they don't give a rat's ass what you think. And I would hope so.

Sure, that's theoretically possible.

 

From what I've seen, the reality is that overweight women tend to be unhappy with their weight, and tend to attract fewer men than women who are not overweight (but not overly skinny either). And sure, maybe the woman has a SO who loves them. But I know *many* men who would be happier if their SO lost a little weight. But that's a very dangerous conversation for a man to have, and many of them don't bring it up until things get out of hand.

 

So if an overweight person and their SO are happy, that's great. If they're not, my point is that many of them could make a lot of progress simply by cutting out the garbage in their diet, like Starbucks.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Sure, that's theoretically possible.

 

From what I've seen, the reality is that overweight women tend to be unhappy with their weight, and tend to attract fewer men than women who are not overweight (but not overly skinny either). And sure, maybe the woman has a SO who loves them. But I know *many* men who would be happier if their SO lost a little weight. But that's a very dangerous conversation for a man to have, and many of them don't bring it up until things get out of hand.

 

It just sounds rude, really. Because it's honestly none of your business or mine to belittle someone. My boyfriend is very overweight. I would be happy if he lost a little weight, too. But you don't hear women harping and putting men down nearly as often.

 

My thing is this:

If you're fat and unhappy, do something about it. Whatever you can. Make yourself healthier if you want to.

 

If you don't want to date a fat man or woman, don't. It's not a big deal if you don't want to.

 

 

It's simple. It truly isn't complicated. Going into a relationship, if the thought of extra weight on your partner is HORRIFYING, tell them. Say "Listen, if you gain x amount of weight, I'm going to have to leave you." That's fair.

 

 

Are you considering it from the perspective of a fit man with an overweight woman only?

I don't think it's fair for an overweight man to criticize his overweight gf/wife. And vice versa. We can't expect things from others we cannot accomplish ourselves.

[ghost69]

diabolik was belittling? hmm i didn't see it. sounded like his preference followed with a suggestion. *shrugs*

 

but, i like how the thread is called what it is, yet i have no hangups on overweight women, just not into them.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

diabolik was belittling? hmm i didn't see it. sounded like his preference followed with a suggestion. *shrugs*

 

but, i like how the thread is called what it is, yet i have no hangups on overweight women, just not into them.

 

Put some glasses on, then. LOL

 

Diabolik knows I'm not bashing him. At least he should. I know where he's coming from and we don't disagree as much as it seems. Healthy debate.

[diabolik]

It just sounds rude, really. Because it's honestly none of your business or mine to belittle someone.

Whoa, easy tiger. I'm not belittling anyone. I'm just pointing out the obvious:

1. most, but not all, overweight women are unhappy with their weight

2. the American diet is loaded with garbage foods, that, if eliminated from one's diet, would make a dramatic impact

3. many people don't realize how much difference something as simple as cutting out a carb bomb coffee would make over a year. Without doing the math, how many people would equate a frappuccino with 28 pounds over a year?

 

My boyfriend is very overweight. I would be happy if he lost a little weight, too. But you don't hear women harping and putting men down nearly as often.

Not surprising b/c women don't care as much about how fat a guy is as men care about how fat a woman is. Yes, that is a generalization, but most of us know this to be true on average.

 

My thing is this:

If you're fat and unhappy, do something about it. Whatever you can. Make yourself healthier if you want to.

Agreed.

 

If you don't want to date a fat man or woman, don't. It's not a big deal if you don't want to.

 

It's simple. It truly isn't complicated. Going into a relationship, if the thought of extra weight on your partner is HORRIFYING, tell them. Say "Listen, if you gain x amount of weight, I'm going to have to leave you." That's fair.

Not only won't I date a fat woman, I won't date a skinny woman with poor eating habits, b/c eventually (as her metabolism slows, marriage and kids limit gym time, etc.) she will become fat.

 

Are you considering it from the perspective of a fit man with an overweight woman only?

I don't think it's fair for an overweight man to criticize his overweight gf/wife. And vice versa. We can't expect things from others we cannot accomplish ourselves.

I have less sympathy for an overweight man than an overweight woman, simply b/c it's generally easier for men to lose the extra fat.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

1. most, but not all, overweight women are unhappy with their weight

2. the American diet is loaded with garbage foods, that, if eliminated from one's diet, would make a dramatic impact

3. many people don't realize how much difference something as simple as cutting out a carb bomb coffee would make over a year. Without doing the math, how many people would equate a frappuccino with 28 pounds over a year?

 

 

Who is debating this? I'm not. These are facts. Actually, most women in general are unhappy with their bodies in some way. Watch "Killing Us Softly".

 

Not surprising b/c women don't care as much about how fat a guy is as men care about how fat a woman is. Yes, that is a generalization, but most of us know this to be true on average.

 

I don't necessarily agree with this. I feel as though overweight men are less concerned with their weight problems than overweight women. True. But I don't feel most guys worry about their partner's weight as much as you or ghost. (Not to throw you under the bus, but you know.) Unless it was extreme obesity, of course. I feel most guys don't notice 5-10 lbs in decent places.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

When I said belittling I wasn't referring to his intentions because I included myself in the statement as well. I just think the mindset of "oh she could be pretty if she got thin" can be mean-spirited in some contexts.

[cat_lady]

 

I don't necessarily agree with this. I feel as though overweight men are less concerned with their weight problems than overweight women. True. But I don't feel most guys worry about their partner's weight as much as you or ghost. (Not to throw you under the bus, but you know.) Unless it was extreme obesity, of course. I feel most guys don't notice 5-10 lbs in decent places.

 

I would actually disagree with this - I'd say that guys are very concerned about how much women weight. I think there have been studies that have shown that men prefer a better body over a prettier face.

 

Women, on the other hand, are generally willing to make allowance for things like personality and how nice the guy is that will compensate for being overweight or out of shape. I've heard so many girls say - well, he's a little fatter/flabbier/smaller/whatever than I would like, but he's really nice and treats me really well.

 

I go out a lot, so I see player/baller-wannabes pull really hot, in shape girls all the time, while they themselves are less than in great physical condition. In fact, I've seen this enough to realize that probably the best thing I can do to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex is work out like crazy -- and it worked.

[diabolik]

I don't necessarily agree with this.

Take a poll.

But I don't feel most guys worry about their partner's weight as much as you or ghost. (Not to throw you under the bus, but you know.)

How do you know this? Maybe ghost and I are just more vocal about it here on ENA than other guys who don't feel like enduring the bashing that goes on when men candidly discuss womens' weight. I'm not allowed to link to the article, but do a search on "Why oh why aren't you hot?". Then read the comments to the article. Go to a forum dominated by men and ask if men care a lot about a woman keeping her figure.

 

Unless it was extreme obesity, of course. I feel most guys don't notice 5-10 lbs in decent places.

Again, how do you know this? What I know, based on conversations with friends, is that men *do* notice an extra 10 pounds on a woman, but many are afraid to make an issue out of it b/c of the ensuing mushroom cloud, and the potential that this will make things worse. So they just hope and pray that the weight gain is temporary.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Initially, yes I agree. But I was referring to later in the relationship. Say a guy is initially attracted to a woman's body and they later become exclusive and fall in love, etc.. I think if she gains 5-10 lbs over the span of a decade, he is less likely to freak out about it than she is.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

Take a poll.

 

How do you know this? Maybe ghost and I are just more vocal about it here on ENA than other guys who don't feel like enduring the bashing that goes on when men candidly discuss womens' weight. I'm not allowed to link to the article, but do a search on "Why oh why aren't you hot?". Then read the comments to the article. Go to a forum dominated by men and ask if men care a lot about a woman keeping her figure.

 

 

Again, how do you know this? What I know, based on conversations with friends, is that men *do* notice an extra 10 pounds on a woman, but many are afraid to make an issue out of it b/c of the ensuing mushroom cloud, and the potential that this will make things worse. So they just hope and pray that the weight gain is temporary.

 

 

How do you know any of the things you claim?

The people around you, articles, magazines, news reports, etc. That's the impression I get from those sources.

 

Chill out

[cat_lady]

Initially, yes I agree. But I was referring to later in the relationship. Say a guy is initially attracted to a woman's body and they later become exclusive and fall in love, etc.. I think if she gains 5-10 lbs over the span of a decade, he is less likely to freak out about it than she is.

 

I dunno about that.. my dad always told me that if I want to keep my husband happy when I get married.. to never get fat.

 

Perhaps he is less likely to freak out - but what happens when he stumbles on a thinner and better in shape woman that he likes as well? Tell me that for the average guy, that's not going to be a temptation compared to his overweight wife?

[diabolik]

How do you know any of the things you claim?

The people around you, articles, magazines, news reports, etc. That's the impression I get from those sources.

 

Chill out

I'm a guy and I have candid conversations with other guys.

 

Funny how we have such different impressions. Ask on a forum dominated by men, and you will get a very different perspective than here on ENA, where any thread about such a topic will be full of comments from women expressing how their man loves their curves, etc. Get it straight from the source, not second-hand from women.

 

I'm chill, like the other side of the pillow.

[IphigeniaSaysHi]

I dunno about that.. my dad always told me that if I want to keep my husband happy when I get married.. to never get fat.

 

Perhaps he is less likely to freak out - but what happens when he stumbles on a thinner and better in shape woman that he likes as well? Tell me that for the average guy, that's not going to be a temptation compared to his overweight wife?

 

I'm not talking about fat in this case, though.

If a woman is 5'5 and 120 lbs at age 20, then 130lbs at age 40 is she fat? lol

 

 

And I think the other argument is ridiculous, honestly.

[metrogirl]

I dunno about that.. my dad always told me that if I want to keep my husband happy when I get married.. to never get fat.

 

Perhaps he is less likely to freak out - but what happens when he stumbles on a thinner and better in shape woman that he likes as well? Tell me that for the average guy, that's not going to be a temptation compared to his overweight wife?

 

If he is going to cheat because he feels his wife is fat then he is a pig and will likely cheat on a woman anyway.

[diabolik]

If a woman is 5'5 and 120 lbs at age 20, then 130lbs at age 40 is she fat? lol

If that was the typical scenario, we wouldn't be having an overweight/obesity epidemic.

[cat_lady]

If he is going to cheat because he feels his wife is fat then he is a pig and will likely cheat on a woman anyway.

 

Yes. But guys are much more visual creatures than women, whether they are single or have been married for 20 years.

 

Cheating is always wrong, but I don't think that you can make an argument that a woman is contributing to a relationship (no matter how long they've been together) by actively choosing to let herself go. A man for that matter either.

[ProtestTheHero]

If you're trying to extrapolate a majority opinion on an issue from eNA...epic lolz. Most people come here pissed off, needing help, or broken...not exactly the group I'd survey on what it is they will and won't tolerate. Plus, who gives a flying * * * * what most people tolerate or how vocal they are? MOST people suck, so when it comes to their opinion I couldn't care less. Same goes with surverying just men are just women. Forget that. Just focus on finding someone compatible.

 

If I am married to someone who is letting herself go, I will tell her it's an issue for me and that if she doesn't work on it (giving her whatever time she wants to say what she'd like me to fix as well), then I'd leave.

 

Let's give the brain a little more credit then that. I don't see a hot girl, pop an instant boner, and then fight primal urges to screw her brains out just because my wife at home is 5-10 pounds overweight.

 

10 pounds in 20 years is reasonable...on a 5'4+ person I'm not sure I'd even visually notice that. I'm not visual at the expense of my self-control or intellect.

[dragon lady]

I'm not sure I agree with all of this. I always gain weight in relationships (10-15 lbs) because of all the dinners & chocolates I get as gifts. I'm usually happy just to eat a salad for dinner, but the guys always complain "waa you can't just eat salad. I like a girl who eats." Sorry, but they can't have it both ways.

[ProtestTheHero]

lol, I think most guys would be opposed to spending MORE money just to get their gf to eat more and consequently weigh more. That's odd.