babibrwneyes Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Me and my boyfriend have been going out for four months now. In the beginning he told me that he has a baby by his ex. I said that it was ok. Our relationship was wonderful until his ex said she wants him back. My boyfriend told me that his ex put him through hell and that he would never get back with her. But now he is telling me that he wouldn't leave me. And also that he still wants to be in his baby's life. So his ex is hold his baby against him because of me. My boyfriend also said that he wants to have a family but never leave me. I don't know what to do. I really care about him. Link to comment
Duckie198100 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 His mind isn't straight. It sounds like he got involved with you before he had resolved his relationship with her. It's clear he still has feelings for her. To be honest, I would let him go. If you stay with him while he is so wishy-washy, he may begin to resent you for coming between him and his child. The child is the most important thing now, and it's really good that he wants to be in it's life. The ex sounds immature and hopefully things sort themselves out. Link to comment
angellight Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Me and my boyfriend have been going out for four months now. In the beginning he told me that he has a baby by his ex. I said that it was ok. Our relationship was wonderful until his ex said she wants him back. My boyfriend told me that his ex put him through hell and that he would never get back with her. But now he is telling me that he wouldn't leave me. And also that he still wants to be in his baby's life. So his ex is hold his baby against him because of me. My boyfriend also said that he wants to have a family but never leave me. I don't know what to do. I really care about him. 1. Your boyfriends needs to be very clear regarding who he wants to be with. 2. If he chooses to be with you then he needs to be clear with his ex (preferable in front of you) that their relationship is over and he has moved on. 3. A man can be a wonderful father and have a wonderful relationship with his children without having anything more than a civil mutually respective relationship with the mother of his children.. 4. If she continues to hold the baby against him she should be made aware that he will start court proceedings for joint custody if she continues to be difficult. If for any reason he refuses to initiate any of these actions with any excuses, then you can assume he is playing games and you should leave... Link to comment
DN Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I don't see why he is doing anything wrong. he is clear that he wants you and not her but of course he wants to be in his child's life - and how can he do that without some sort of contact with the mother? I don't think it would be right for you to try and separate him from his child because of his ex. Link to comment
angellight Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 DN is right, Of course he wants to see his child..You couldn't respect him as a man if he turned his back on his own flesh and blood...I think the problem is partially insecurity on your part and partially his lack of being clear with you and with his ex...Ifhe makes it clear to you that he wants you and only you and he is clear with her that they are finished you will feel more secure with the relationship...Thats why I suggested he should do it in your presence... Link to comment
loulee Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 This is about a child and not your insecurities, his immaturity or the ex's intentions good or bad...I think you all have some growing up to do here.. i would bet my bottom dollar he is not over his ex and Im sorry to say this...i doubt he has had the time to heal, you have willingly entered this realtionship with a guy with a baby to another ...However I dont think your ready for this......Do you really need these complications with a guy you have seen for 4 mths when many of them out there do not have such big issues to deal with.... QUOTE So his ex is hold his baby against him because of me. My boyfriend also said that he wants to have a family but never leave me. I don't know what to do. I really care about him. How do you hold a baby against someone surely your boyfriend has already shown maturity and been seeing the baby regularly??? doesnt sound like it... And now he wants a family with you!!! wow what a solution to add to an already com0plicated problem...Step back and have an honest look at this....is this what you really need in your life? Link to comment
Unknown1607307972 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 If it's his baby can't he claim legal rights to see his child if she begins witholding the child put of bitterness? Seriously that is horrible, my parents split up when I was a baby and they both agreed to remain on good terms because of me and they did, even when my dad met my stepmother and had a baby with her too while I was still small. Link to comment
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