After reading Mayday's

[sadcomposer]

Well I'm seriously considering writing her an email. Something like this

 

Hi Ex,

 

Hope you are doing well. I must admit that seeing you on facebook has piqued my curiosity. In any case, it brings back memories. If you feel like telling me how you have been doing, my email is (...). If not, it's ok, I wish you all the best.

 

Me

 

What do you guys think?

[icemann89]

man what the * * * * are you waiting for old age ? send the damn email you just spent 8 months locking at her facebook just do it already are you just happy with locking for signs or do you want to talk atleast be a man call her do something who knows it just might be your shout

[sadcomposer]

Thanks Icemann, I guess you are right, as long as I don't do anything I keep the hope alive and I'm still too scared to be rejected. I need to get a life.

[DaveTrump]

Thanks Icemann, I guess you are right, as long as I don't do anything I keep the hope alive and I'm still too scared to be rejected. I need to get a life.

 

yes, you are correct. you need to break this cycle of looking at her on facebook and wondering like you're in some sort of daydream of reconciliation fantasy.

 

you need to rebuild your life form the ground up. that takes time and lots of effort but its worth it and possibly by the time you've rebuilt your life you won't care about your ex picture on facebook or whatver...

[breakupmoveon]

Sadcomposer:

 

I read your entire thread just now. You are still hung up on this girl, and this is obvious. You have essentially done nothing as far as trying to make a real contact over the last 8 months. People keep telling you to stay NC and you will eventually move on. I disagree. My own personal story:

 

I dated a girl for 6 months ending a year ago. Went 4 months NC. Started talking again, hooked up 3 months later one night. I fell for her and asked if she wanted to try. She denied me. This denial happened late July (like 3.5 months ago.) I have been travelling the last 3 months and she hadn't left my head at all. I have had numerous friends tell me to stay NC, the girl is not worth it, etc. I had dreams of her, had her on a pedestal etc as little as 2 weeks ago. I said enough is enough. Made the call, she said she wouldn't mind being my friend in time, but basically doesn't see me in "that" way anymore/doesn't see me as marriage material. Yes, it hurt for the rest of that day and probably the next. But since this, I got my closure. She shut the door on me and gave me the answers I was seeking. She wasn't "waiting" for me and my original 3 month NC didn't phase her. I am now at a better place in my mind.

 

Just think:

 

1. She rejects you, you may hurt for a brief time, but you WILL get the closure you are looking for. This waiting game is killing you.

 

2. She opens the door for you back into her life romantically. Take it slow.

 

either way, you come out winning.

[sadcomposer]

Thanks everyone,

 

I took the plunge and phoned her last night. I got her answering machine, so I left her a message with my new phone number. She has not called back yet. I will let you know how it goes. Thanks again.

[Zerohero]

I say if they dump you, and really want you back, they will come to you. And in my personal experience, its always been that way. So there is no need to sit around WONDERING if they secretly want you. If they do, they will let you know. Meanwhile your getting your self back together, and your out in the world doing your own thing like you never missed a step.

[jimmajam]

Thanks everyone,

 

I took the plunge and phoned her last night. I got her answering machine, so I left her a message with my new phone number. She has not called back yet. I will let you know how it goes. Thanks again.

 

I just read through this thread and I have to say....FINALLY! In my opinion you should have done this months ago. To be honest, it sounds like you did NC to get her back instead of for yourself. If you did it for yourself you wouldn't be playing with her and worrying about facebook friends, statuses, pictures etc.

 

Either way I'm glad you finally called her. A phone call is way better than a text or facebook message. If she doesn't get back to you that should be a good enough sign that she is not interested. The situation not working out the way you want and getting closure is better than being in limbo forever. You never know good or bad until you try.

[Brownstone322]

man what the * * * * are you waiting for old age ? send the damn email you just spent 8 months locking at her facebook just do it already are you just happy with looking for signs or do you want to talk at least be a man call her do something who knows it just might be your shout

LOL, too funny (lack of punctuation notwithstanding).

 

I agree ... there comes a time to "man up."

[sadcomposer]

Thanks everyone,

 

I'm nervous as hell, but you are right, it was time to do something. Whatever the outcome, I will get my answer. I'll keep you updated.

[sadcomposer]

She still has not called back. She is a nurse, and maybe she has been really busy due to the H1N1, she could even be out of town for all I know. I gotta relax. I would be really surprised that she just ignores my call, and it's only been 2 days. It would be kinda mean of her not to respond at all, my message was friendly with no pressure at all.

[jimmajam]

She still has not called back. She is a nurse, and maybe she has been really busy due to the H1N1, she could even be out of town for all I know. I gotta relax. I would be really surprised that she just ignores my call, and it's only been 2 days. It would be kinda mean of her not to respond at all, my message was friendly with no pressure at all.

 

Definitely relax. Don't make excuses for her. Wait and see, if she doesn't get back to you - you either take it as a sign or just have relief knowing you tried and it's up to her to get back to you.

[sadcomposer]

So she never called back, so I sent her an email.

 

She answered saying that she got a phone call, it was mostly garbled and she did not recognize my voice. Bull if you ask me.

 

In my email, I simply asked her that since her niece had invited me as a friend, and by her choice of pictures, I thought maybe she wanted to contact me and that I was open.

 

She answered that her niece asked her if she could invite me, because she liked me a lot. As for the pictures, she says that they are the only ones she has since she has no camera. Bull again if you ask me.

 

She then goes on to say that she is presently happy in her relationship with a man, and that she does not want to compromise it by having contact with me. (Doesn't this guy have a camera?) If she had put a pictures that I had not taken, I would of let go a long time ago. Once again, my fault. I should of emailed her months ago and saved myself the torture. Ah well.

 

So, I got my answer. I think she is lying, she wanted me to react to flatter her ego, and I did. She has not changed one bit, she is still a teenager in a woman's body. I am very angry, but it's my own fault, I should of ignored the whole thing. At least I get closure now. I pity the guy. I've been reading about borderline personality disorder, and she certainly shows a lot of the symptoms. This guy is now her eighth long term relationship (none longer than 4 years and most about 2 years). He's in for a big surprise in the next year. She goes from one honeymoon to the next.

 

Thanks everyone, time for me to move on.