The need for attention or what?

[SecChance]

Basic facts:

 

I am divorced, I am someone's ex.

 

I am living with a separated man, someone's ex.

 

His ex is constantly creating reasons to call him. He states she can only if the reason pertains to their son. I'll give her A+ for being creative. The calls keep coming.

 

She now calls with problems. "I might need you to take our son because,..."

but nothing happens.

 

She calls hysterically and screams at him about something and later lies to cover her why she did that.

 

They have been apart for 2.5 years. Frankly I am sick of it. He is more tolerant than I am.

 

So my questions:

Both me and my ex are very careful about not interferring with the other's new life. What pocessess someone to want to do this?

 

Any suggestions on how I can handle this with dignity and diplomacy? The straw is weighing heavy on the camel back now.

[SapphireNoir10]

He needs to set boundaries. After 2 and a half years he needs to STOP this now. Or it'll go on forever.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

He needs to put his foot down with her...it sounds like he is not putting his foot down.

[DN]

He already has set boundaries. And he needs to be careful because if she has primary custody she could cause all sorts of issues that would impact on his relationship with his son. This is a situation where you need to be on his side not causing him even more stress and problems unless you feel he is likely to leave you and go back to her.

[helplesslyhoping]

She's doing it because she can.

It's hard to set boundries when they only separated.

It's easier when the boundries are on paper and signed by all parties.

After so many years of separation and he has obviously moved on if you are living with him, has he not filed for divorce?

[SecChance]

I find that there are excuses about why he hasn't filed something.

Ultimately it's their choice to make.

 

Yes I have an interest on whether he has filed but I don't believe it's my place to pressure that point. Although I'd admit, I would like to see something happen in that direction and a little bugged that it hasn't.

 

I like your comment helplesslyhoping, she's doing it because she can. Do you think it's a form of entertainment for her? Could it be trying to get him to blow at her? I guess I am missing her point as I didn't and wouldn't do this. I find it odd and self distructive.