TMetal Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I got dumped less than 24 hours ago. We've been together for almost three years. This is a long distance relationship. We've seen each lots of times between the time we've been together. I've been there and shes come here. Reason for the break up; me. I was scared to show my emotions and feelings to her. She felt like I was pushing her away and now her feelings for me are gone. During the time that she needed to "think about us" I had realised what was wrong and was actually working on improving but I guess I came off as being desperate. I did the whole being pathetic thing and leave a million msgs, email, and voicemail. Before the bomb was dropped I had plan on one last tempted on a grand gesture that blew up in my face. During the dreaded phone call we did a lot of talking. We did the blame game and pointed fingers but I wanted to end it on a good note for hopes of a second chance. I listed out all the things that I knew I did wrong I admitted to them and apologized for every mistake I made. I told her that this hurts a lot and wish it didn't have to end this way. Then she gave me "lets be friends" bomb. I caved in and said I would love to...... This is my first time, this hurts a lot. The pain is unbearable. I woke this morning and tried to workout to take my mind off it but it failed. Should I just go the NC route and hopes that she comes back? Shes already leaving msgs like we were best friends. I haven't responded yet. I don't want to be friends, I want more than just that. What do I do when she starts calling me and asking about me and emailing me? I don't want to just not saying and make it look like I'm being a jerk and not saying anything. I really need advice. I'm caving in. I want to run back to her. Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Heal, heal, heal. Let her know you are having trouble trying to be just friends and you need some time if she really only wants friendship. Tell her you'll get in touch when you feel ready. Link to comment
Dante09 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 NC is for you bud. Its not easy but you actually have a win-win situation. She comes back: Win! She doesn't, but you will be an improved, stronger version of yourself by the end of it: Win! Link to comment
TMetal Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 I know the NC will be good for me in the long run but I go that route it feels like she will move on. Shes the type of person to grab life by the horns. If I don't talk to her she'll just move on. Gahhhh too many emotions in my head for me to think clearly. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 As they've said: time apart, time apart, time apart. Outcome: a new you that will have a better chance of getting her back and will feel pretty good even if you don't. Link to comment
Knead2Know Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Why can't you just tell her that you cannot be friends that you want more than a friendship with her because you love her? Link to comment
surfjon Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Accept it.... Let go or be dragged..... good luck Link to comment
TMetal Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 After some time to cool down and collect my thoughts I have come up with a plan. This is still fresh ( still less than 24 hours ). I need some time for me and heal. No one wants to be with someone that is being pathetic, trying to play the sympathy card, the guilt card, someone that won't leave them alone after breaking up or someone that can't take card of themselves. I need to just take it slowly one day at a time. Take some time to look at myself and reflect on what I did wrong and work on what I did wrong. When I find my way and get back on my two feet, I'll let her know that I'm not looking for friendship and that I'm looking for a relationship and then continue with my NC. At that point if she doesn't come back, she never will. By that time I'll be on with my life again but this time coming out a better person. This is going to be a long hard battle but I need to do this for myself. I can't sit around and mope around. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Let her go. Keep pushing yourself on her and she'll move twice as far away. If she doesn't come to the rationalization herself that she wants to be with you then all your pushing is just going to make her angry and resent you. Link to comment
TMetal Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 You're right. I don't need to tell her, her options. Shes knows what they are. But what do I do if she starts calling and asking bunch of questions? I don't want to just say nothing or just hang up Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 My good man, I hereby promote you to the position of counselor! You learn fast. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Why don't you first focus on getting through 1-2 months of No Contact to get your poop in a group and then worry how you'll handle contact after that. Baby steps... and only one at a time. Link to comment
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