coolgirl Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Okay, so I met this man. We've been talking for about a week and a half. He's nice, kind, sweet and generous. But there is one problem. I dont just want to settle with one man at this point.I dont want him to end up being the one and have to be stuck with one man for the rest of my life. I dont want to go the whole 9 yards just yet. I I just entered the dating world and want to experince dating other people too. Is this wrong of me to have this man on the side while I date other people? and later on i'd be able to choose who I want to settle with later on or is this not fair? He had asked me what I was looking for. I said an open relationship. Seemingly, he was not comfortable with what I said. I am ready to date just not ready to enter an steady relationship because the way our friendship is taking off seem's to be going pretty well I dont want to have to find myself in a relationship with this man months from now. He is also 10 years older than me. want to get everyone's opinion on this. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Anything is OK as long as you are honest and open with it and both parties are OK with it. It doesn't sound like he is. He seems to want a relationship and you want to play the field. Nothing wrong with that, just doesn't seem you're right for each other. Link to comment
coolgirl Posted April 1, 2009 Author Share Posted April 1, 2009 I mean at one point I do want a relationship but not so soon. But with the way the way our friendship is taking off. It seems to be going good so far i'm the one that's afraid of getting into a steady relationship. He's even talked about dating me as well. What if he is there and I'm not. Then were does this leave me? Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I mean at one point I do want a relationship but not so soon. But with the way the way our friendship is taking off. It seems to be going good so far i'm the one that's afraid of getting into a steady relationship. He's even talked about dating me as well. What if he is there and I'm not. Then were does this leave me? This leaves you with a friend that is interested in you whose feelings you don't reciprocate. If all you're interested in is friendship and you know he will ultimately want more, maybe being friends isn't such a good idea. Link to comment
angellight Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I mean at one point I do want a relationship but not so soon. But with the way the way our friendship is taking off. It seems to be going good so far i'm the one that's afraid of getting into a steady relationship. He's even talked about dating me as well. What if he is there and I'm not. Then were does this leave me? Coolgirl Talk with this guy...Let him know the same things that you have told us..You like him, you think you may someday want a relationship with him, but right now you would like to take things slowly keep it at a friendship level and see what the future brings...If you lose him, then you lose him..You really cant change the fact that your not ready to settle down with one person at this time...and if he at at the point in his life where he wants to settle down with one person, then it is what it is, your both were you need to be and you will both eventually find the "right" one for you.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 i wouldn't bust all of this out on him right now. i'd just date and have fun for now. if you have feelings, then express them. if he tells you his feelings and you aren't there, then you tell him. Link to comment
pinkrobot Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 You expressed you want an open relationship, and he said he's not comfortable with it. How much clearer of an answer could you get? It's absolutely fine if you're not ready to settle down yet, but keeping a guy who wants a genuine relationship "on the side" for when you finally decide you want a committment isn't fair to him. He would be wasting his time on you instead of going out there and meeting someone who wants the same thing he wants. You think you might want a relationship with him someday? Then wait until "someday" gets here. Keep in contact with him (NOT dating) and if you reach a point where you want to committ to someone and he's still single and interested, THEN is the time to start your relationship with him. Link to comment
bebeblondie Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 I think you're jumping the gun here a bit, you've only been talking to him for a week and a half, I wouldn't worry about an exclusive relationship just yet. Also, I don't think you should be calling it an open relationship....it sounds more to me like you're looking for casual dating. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 I think you should wait until you actually meet and have a date to worry about fitting him into the lineup. He may not even pan out. Link to comment
waveseer Posted April 2, 2009 Share Posted April 2, 2009 If he was the man you wanted to still be with in the far future I doubt you'd want to date other men. In case I'm right and you already know you don't want to still be with him in the far future then why would you want to be with him now? Link to comment
coolgirl Posted April 2, 2009 Author Share Posted April 2, 2009 He's been so sweet and so genuie. We have an open and honest communication which is great. I like the way things are going with him and I. Nor, he's rushing it nor me. Were just going with the flow. I might as well give the guy a chance. He wants me to be open and honest with him towards everything. I'll keep everyone updated on how it goes on Saturday night. Let's just hope for the best. Link to comment
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