THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[coffinqt]

Day 11:

 

I really miss him today.

[WombatShadow]

I'm a few minutes late by my clock, but since I haven't gone to bed yet...

 

Day 11.

 

Today was weird. I was all torn up at work and have no real reason for it. Just...there was this sense of hopelessness that fell over me right at the start of my work day, and I remained glum (almost teary at points) until after 3.

 

But then I stopped myself and shook my head (well, metaphorically). Moping around isn't what I need at all. It's not helping me, or him, or my self-esteem, or our chances at reconciliation.

 

So I came up with two ideas: the first being how I will break No Contact once my thirty days are up (perhaps I shouldn't be counting so severely, but I think thirty days is a good trial number) and the second being...dyeing my hair. I'm currently sitting on my couch with freshly-dyed green streaks, though I haven't seen how they look yet. I needed a change, and this is something I've always wanted to try.

 

Good days ahead.

[WombatShadow]

Day 12.

 

Last night I had the best/worst dream. I approached him in his apartment after No Contact had ended and gently explained my reasoning and laid out a plan of action for starting over. He agreed with me and wrapped his arms around me and just...held me. Kissed my forehead a few times, told me that we'd be okay, that we were still a team.

 

And then I woke up, and for a solid minute I thought it was true. Then I shook myself off and went back to sleep, only to have the same dream again. And then a third time. Annnnd my whole day was ruined as a result of this crazy cycle of dream reconciliations.

 

I just want to hold him again.

[coffinqt]

Day 12:

 

What do I even say anymore? I'm trying, but I still think of him.

[coffinqt]

Day 13:

 

Still hoping he'll reach back out to me. It's not likely. I'm still doing alright.

[Havok20]

Actually not sure what NC day it is, maybe 4. I guess a positive was not waking up feeling completely crippled by depression or a need for her. I have been laying in bed for two hours though reading posts and thinking about life. I am trying to let go, but not sure exactly how that even works, the memories and the slight shocks of pain come every now and again like a incompetent assassin on my heart.

[Kris22]

Day 4

 

F*** you for leaving me and f*** you for not missing me

[WombatShadow]

Day 0, because he called and I answered.

 

The conversation cheered me up so much, which is just ridiculous. He made some small talk at first, and I asked about his mother's health. Then I asked if he still wanted to see the show I have tickets for this weekend; he said no, but only because his mother wants/needs him to help her. It could be just an excuse, but I don't think so. He also mentioned that he'd been talking about me with some mutual friends, so he was pretty aware of what was going on in my life. He doesn't know about the (disastrous) date I went on last night, and I'm not sure if I'm planning to tell him.

 

His main reason for calling was to ask about another friend of ours, with whom there is some drama. We talked about that for almost half an hour, and even acknowledged the breakup several times during the conversation (with no real emotion on my end, but he sounded very stiff and awkward about it...hm...). I had to end the phone call because my lunch hour was on the cusp of ending, which was a mixed blessing (I really wanted to talk some more, but he also seemed to want to talk more, and by ending the conversation I controlled our back-and-forth for the first time since before the breakup). Part of our scheming re is that my ex will be organizing a birthday gathering for himself in three weeks' time, and he wants me there.

 

I honestly think I'm ending No Contact and moving into Low/Light Contact. I won't initiate (much), but if he's going to talk to me or if any further revelations come up with our friend, it's silly to ignore him. I just won't talk about our relationship at all until I can get him alone and in person, and even then only if the vibe is leading us there.

[coffinqt]

Day 14:

 

I noticed he viewed my Instagram story today. Maybe an accident, maybe on purpose, who knows. He hasn't done it since I stopped speaking to him. I'm probably reading too much into it though. I'm not going to let it trick me.

 

I'm proud of how far I've gotten. I'm still sad, I still want him, but I know I can survive without him.

[coffinqt]

Day 15:

 

Halfway there. I'm proud of all the progress I've made. I still miss him and hope we end up together in the end somehow, but I feel independent. I know I can survive without him, or anyone for that matter.

[WombatShadow]

Day 15:

 

I know I can survive without him, or anyone for that matter.

 

That's the most important thing. You (and all of us, for that matter) have to learn to kick it on our own before we can even consider getting back the ex. Learning to be single again is the hardest thing, but it's soooo worth it.

[coffinqt]

That's the most important thing. You (and all of us, for that matter) have to learn to kick it on our own before we can even consider getting back the ex. Learning to be single again is the hardest thing, but it's soooo worth it.

 

You said it!

[coffinqt]

Day 16:

 

He's viewing my posts again. I wouldn't put it past him to care for me or wonder how I'm doing, but I know if he truly wants to speak to me, he would. Even if he does, I won't fall for breadcrumbs again. I still feel great.

[coffinqt]

Day 17:

 

Same feelings as I've usually been feeling, which is pretty good I suppose.

[Darthzak]

Day 6 waiting for her to reach out first. She dropped some stuff I bought at my house while I was coming back to town. Still waiting on that text or call.

[TiredOfDating]

Day 20, round 2.

 

I'd promised myself I'd quit keeping track. But I find myself missing him again lately.

 

Its been just 7 weeks since that awful dinner. I hate how desperate I sound in my own head. I wonder what the hell I did wrong. I supported him without fail, loved him without conditions. And it wasn't enough.

[coffinqt]

Day 18:

 

I'm getting more and more tempted to check his social media, even though where I have him added most likely won't tell me anything since he's not as active. The only thing he's relatively active on is Facebook, and I blocked him there. He's also still viewing my posts, and I'm trying not to read to much into that fact, because I know if he does choose to reach out, it'll be pure breadcrumbs. I'm still doing well though. I'm better off not knowing him right now, as sad as that is.

[hopefulalways]

NC Day 98

 

I still think about her everyday several times. I wonder if she does the same about me. I feel like this has made me miss her even more. It's tough I know our paths will cross again but maybe it's for the best that we are apart. I truly believe in destiny and fate and the way we loved each other makes me have a sliver of hope that the story isn't finished.

 

background: dated girl since junior year of HS, dated for 6.5 years, broke up with me two weeks after my birthday in November. The first month is tough but from what I read here it will get better soon. It's her birthday next month but I won't budge my NC. We both have growing up to do

[TiredOfDating]

I broke NC again today. there's another thread in this forum about still maintaining contact with ex's, and I'm following the advice given there. Always keeping communication fun and positive, no clinging, no begging. just always fun. The last 2 times we've texted, it's been comfortable, none of the awkwardness we had during our break period.

[Havok20]

Weirdly enough my friend, now her friend texted me asking if I removed her (the friend) from facebook, I haven't even responded to that.

[coffinqt]

Day 19:

 

Memories of when I was happier and when I was with him keep coming back and reminding me of old feelings. I miss him.

[coffinqt]

Day 20:

 

Possibly the longest I've gone with NC with him, so I'm proud of myself. The temptation to check social media is still strong, but I won't give in. Gotta keep going.

[coffinqt]

Day 21:

 

Maybe he does miss me. I wish he would tell me. I wish he didn't give up on us. I miss him again.

[vesper]

Time to fall asleep

[Glashalfulguy]

Day 36 (Actualy stopped counting the days just checked the last date we talked)

 

This is my second NC with the same girl.

 

To make it clear to everyone on this forum..checking their profile does not reset the NC rule.in fact liking their posts or else them knowing your checking their stuff and knowing how you feel about what they did to you, then you should press the reset button. (hope i made it clear

 

Okey now for the people here whom didnt receive any text or call during their NC i feel for you.(the worst feeling ever) seems im one of the lucky ones to have received about 4 very kind hearted text from my ex. (even though i never answered and just read it and deleted it straight away) The reason for my actions were that she has someone else and she made it clear on all her social networks. (it hurt like hell to see it but in reality she already lined this guy up before we could even fix our own relationship)

 

So now im 36 days in and i have met new people but still have all these questions in my head. (havent received a message from her for about a week and a half, think she got the point.) I still sumtimes break down and think how someone can just do this to someone else whom did notihing to them.( so no matter how faithfull or loving and caring you are sum people will find an excuse to ditch you for someone else, maybe a sign of the GIGS)

 

What ive learned is that people change..you have to either accept the change or deal with it. He/she is not the same person you fell in love with along time ago and no one he/she connects with will ever have that person you had. Thats the beauty of it.

 

Sumtimes walking away from sumthing you really want, but know is going to hurt you, is the best choice no matter what it takes. WORK on yourself! NOT for the ex, NOT for someone else but for YOU. cause while you are ons this site or any other (like myself) and finding ways to "fix" all this your ex is going on with their lives like nothing happened.(the harsh truth but you should do the same if you ever want to reconcile with them.)

 

If you ever wonder if they think about you or wonder were you are then the answer is YES. Ive seen it and ive been there. its human nature to think about somoene else whom was close to you for so long. (no matter how much he/she dislikes you.) Think about it the more you dislike someone the more you think about that person, but thats another story.im not saying your ex dislikes you for ignoring them or for not contacting them. IN fact time heals everything! See it from their perspective. (Yes we dont forget whatever happened but we forgive.)

 

Now the NC rule is for you to heal and not them, but their not doing the same. they dont know about the 30 days, they dont know not to check social media, they probably still have photos of you on their phones. Their thinking you have moved on and how are you doing it so quickly and how can you not cry or beg for them. They think this is forever but you know its only a month. (their asking themselves questions like "was i such a crappy girl or boy friend that they can let go this easily"...even when they left you!) this is what the NC is doing for you but you have to obey the rules of it. You have to get semi over them and think of them like someone you would prob date but not really.(Get it? have some standards and put yourself first.love yourself be Selfish for a change,become confident,find ways to do so and you will become happy). This is how you gain control even if they dont send you a text or call. Ive done this twice with the same girl and still ive "flipped the switch TWICE" and YOU CAN DO IT TO!