THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[sighh]

happened to me too, she said she would pay me to change her oil for her. I ignored it and after a day i got a "I guess thats a no" she chose some guy over me after a year and im suppost to be friends with her and have her rub him in my face and hurt me, no way. Keep going man she'll want you back one day but it might be too late for her. stay strong, I know I am. im hurting right now but im going to be an azz to her behind her back so I dont talk to her. Im not sure what day im on but it feels like forever.

 

hehe, i'm in the same situation man. And indeed, i know that she'll miss me even tho she says she's happy with her new bf now. I just know things will not work out between those two. But to be honest,i couldn't care less what happens between them. It's all about ME now. Keep strong!

 

Today i've broken NC, only because she had a case in court (about child molesting). I just wished her good luck and that she had too be strong. She thanked me for that. Afterwards she told me the result of the case; it was delayed 'till september. Back to NC now.

 

No contact, is really starting to show me results. I'm feeling alot better lately and have been regaining my confidence and such. I don't need anyone but myself to be happy. I used to want her back so badly. These days i don't care anymore. If she wants to consider a reconciliation between us, i'd have to think that through, whilst in the beginning of the break-up i'd take her back without a doubt.

 

To everyone, stay strong on your NC journey.

[xoslippers]

A week after breakup after 2 years..

2nd day of NC, would be 7th if i didn't send a message asking for my stuff, silly me!

Im learning to not care and its awesome xD i keep telling myself i didn't want to be in it either.

 

Ps, this thread has given me such optimism, ty OP

[Animelover6764]

Day 9

 

feel good

[sighh]

Yesterday, the ex started talking to me on msn, she logged onto her old e-mailadress which i haven't blocked. I replied to her, We had a little conversation. Just a bit of chit-chat. Asking me how i was doing etc etc.

 

At the end of the conversation she told me she was logging onto her new e-mailadress (which i've blocked and deleted). After that she said that it's up to me for me to add her back. But i just don't feel like adding her again, and ruining my progress because I'm doing GREAT!

 

I'm 19 years old. I've finally bought a car, going for my driver license next week. And i've finally started to study before the exams are actually started. I'm full of good hope, and 've never felt more confident in my life. (working out is awesooome).

I'm also learning to cook, which i've always wanted to do.

I used to smoke weed on a daily basis for 2 years straight. I've been sober for 3 months already and i don't have the intention to smoke again.

I think i'm finally getting my life back on track, and i'm happy about it.

She's really missing out on me. But i don't really care anymore.

[TSandullo]

FOUR MONTHS LATER...

 

It was exactly four months ago when we broke up.

 

How do I feel? Great.

 

It is currently exam period now and I have another four papers to do, then it is out of university.

 

I can happily say that the rollercoaster period has left me, I am thankful for that as it was crippling at times.

 

Regarding my ex, I still do have feelings for her, though they have mellowed out.

Though the pain, confusion, overanalysis and other poo that happened after the breakup has passed, what is still left is that dull ache of missing her.

 

I am able to concentrate on my work better now (or let other things distract me ) as opposed to the depressed feelings that followed the BU. I have learnt to accept, forgive and move on. I have looked at myself and seen what needs to be worked on prior to entering another relationship.

 

I have not met any other girl following our breakup and I am in no such hurry to either. I am taking my sweet time sorting out myself, studies and getting on with other enjoyable things in my life.

 

She is a great, caring, genuine and gentle girl and I would love to reconcile with her. I am equally happy without her. Whatever the case, I genuinely wish her and her daughter a very happy and prosperous life.

 

If we are to ever meet in the future, I would want my two special girls to have smiles on their faces, not faces contorted in anguish.

 

So, that is 4 months on. Not so much of a thrilling story, just a log of how I am.

 

Wishing all my fellow ENAers a happy weekend and thanks for being there for me.

 

TS

[Animelover6764]

Day 10

 

yes! double digits lol

 

i feel fine and mellow

[brownage]

Day 26:

 

Wow it's already been 26 days! I'm impressed with myself! Well, I don't feel as weak as I did at the beginning of NC. I'm just a little unsure what to do after the 30 challenge is up. I most likely will keep going though.

 

My birthday is coming up in 20 days, and maybe she'll say happy birthday to me, maybe she won't. I guess we'll see what happens.

[j.love]

Okay so I am taking the challenge today at 5:31 pm May 8 2010.

 

I had my friend change my FB password so I will not be tempted to go back on it.

 

I already feel the urge to go onto FB, which shows me that my constant checking was unhealthy. I just know that I need to move forward with what has happened. Wish me luck with this!

[Theron]

Day 17.

This is the hardest time.

[j.love]

Day 1: 6:37pm

 

Its only been an hour and the urge has only gotten stronger. I keep wanting to go to Facebook or go on AIM and just see him there even though I know I don't want to talk him and that I have nothing to say to him. I am really glad that I had my friend change my password, because that is the only thing stopping right now. I want to google him and view a cached view of his page

 

I am just trying to work through all of this, any advice?

[hater13]

officially 1 month of NC

 

I don't think I've ever disliked someone as much as I dislike my ex

I won't say hate though..I can't hate people lol

[hater13]

Day 1: 6:37pm

 

Its only been an hour and the urge has only gotten stronger. I keep wanting to go to Facebook or go on AIM and just see him there even though I know I don't want to talk him and that I have nothing to say to him. I am really glad that I had my friend change my password, because that is the only thing stopping right now. I want to google him and view a cached view of his page

 

I am just trying to work through all of this, any advice?

 

awww i got my friend to go the exact same thing one month ago

dw it gets better. I looked at his fb page today and it didn't phase me at all. I didn't miss him..but I can't say I felt nothing for him, I just wasn't emotional as I normally would have been looking at girls posting on his wall. I stopped caring about that

[Animelover6764]

Day 10

 

i feel down

 

i still miss her

[j.love]

Day 1: 12:23am

 

I went through my phone and began reading old text messages from him. I want to delete them but I know I'm not ready yet

 

I just miss him sooo much right now. I was at a friend's place earlier tonight. He invited me over, cause he knows what happened and wanted to help keep me company. But as I was at his place all I can think about is the time me and my ex spent together there. I had his birthday party in March at the friends house and I remembered all the time we spend there getting to know each other before we started dating.

 

I think that is the hardest part for me. Before we started dating we shared the same group of friends. So he and I spent a lot time together before and after we started dating at these friends apartments. So there are so many memories for me there that its hard to be there sometime. Even though my friends want me to come over its really hard cause it just brings back the memories.

 

Man I still love him so much

[sighh]

I know its a hard time. But reading old text-messages will only make you feel worse. Delete them ASAP, or don't read them at all.

 

I'm glad you had a friend change your facebook password. I just deactivated my account. Haven't loggen on for a day so far : D, i just don't need facebook anymore. It's annoying. And i never had the temptation to look up my ex. But yesterday i stumbled onto some photographs of her which where taken today. It didn't do me that much. Except that my best friend was on them with her.

 

I told you guys earlier that she contacted me on her old emailadress, which i hadn't blocked. I've blocked it now. Because i don't want her to check up on me. If she wants contact, she'll have too call. But i doubt that'll happen. But either way is okay for me.

 

Ah well, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm healing slowly, but steady.

[dont know]

WOW day 27?? Man, the days seem to fly by even though I think about her still. Its not quite the same thoughts though. Now instead of just remembering the good or bad times I'm starting to look at the relationship as a whole. I'm starting to realize that even though I do miss her a lot, it is probably a lot better that we don't make any contact of any kind. I loved this girl with all my heart even though I knew she had some family baggage that probably hindered her from putting forth the effort needed to keep this relationship going. Now that I've been back from college for the past few days, its been difficult. Beginning to realize that if she hadn't broken up with me we would probably be hanging out each and every day all summer, but then I realized that I would not be having nearly as much fun or freedom as I have right now.. Though this all does suck, it has gotten a lot better. I dont know if any of you keep up with my story or not, but I really hope that you guys can tell that I've made a lot of progress. Just applied for a job today and I'm trying to take small steps in the right direction for moving on. At first I wanted to better myself just to prove to my ex that I was really a good person, but now I'm making myself happy just for me. I'm also starting to see girls in a different light now. At the beginning of the breakup there was no girl that was as good as my ex, but now I'm quickly realizing that I just looked WAAAAAY past all of my ex's faults and now I can tell that there was no way that we would have worked out in the end.

 

Overall, I still miss my ex dearly. Been in NC for 27 days now and I'm losing the urge to talk to her. I even was looking at old pictures of us as I got rid of them and I didnt really feel upset or anything as i was getting rid of them. It just seemed surreal that I could look at her and not get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside like I used to. As much as i wish we could go back to the "good ole days" of the relationship, I'm quickly realizing that she changed WAY more than I ever did and that is what really killed the relationship. Not 100% her fault, as her family had serious issues and problems that she constantly got stressed about, but I was there for her 24/7 so I don't regret anything that I did in the relationship. Kudos for me?? Don't really know

[brownage]

Day 27:

 

Wow nice 3 more days til 30 days! I don't feel miserable ANYMORE like I used to I feel good, I don't even think about her that much!

 

Hang in there everyone who is new to NC. It totally gets better though -- for real!

[Animelover6764]

day 11

 

Just woke up but feeling ok

[Igelchen]

Never beg anyone for anything. Nothing is worth that.

 

Feelings are running high. Let him be a while longer, then if you must contact him, send him something casual. You can say you miss him, but lengthy messages are a no. Keep it light. Don't apologise. He loved you before - he won't hate you forever. He may never want you back or love you again, you might not be friends even, but the hate will pass.

 

He's probably upset, and unconsciously blaming you for it. That too will pass. don't blame yourself.

 

We're here for you.

[j.love]

Don't know I hope I can get to a similar place as you. My story is kinda similiar, my ex had HUGE family baggage. That is why he and I broke up, they didn't approve But you seem to be moving on, and thats what I want to be able to do for my self.

[j.love]

I am so with you on this one. I used to be that needy girl, but this NC will definitely help you. That's how you learn to love and respect yourself before anyone else.

 

I just started NC yesterday, I know that we can get through this.

[j.love]

wow, that is so similar to my story. He told me he never thought about his family before we started dating. My friends and I call total BS to that statement because how can he not. I am black and he is chinese so how do you not think of it. I know I did, but before we started dating, I knew that my family would just have to accept us, but he thought different. But Molly there is this book called Extreme Break-up recovery that I totally recommend to you. It has truly helped me with the moving on process. PM me if you want it or want to know more about it...or just talk. Be good

[Animelover6764]

Day 11 cont

 

feeling better

[j.love]

the urge to go on FB has subsided....and I have no need to do the forgotten password thing to get back on lol.

 

i've had many ups and downs today...right now i'm stable

[Lostbutokay]

I'm joining the NC club today. Last night I went over my ex-fiance current IDK girl lol. We made love, at the end of the night I kissed her and said I love you, and she just gave me an odd smirk. Today I called twice and no response. IDK. I want more than just sex, and I guess it's time for me to move on.