THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Animelover6764]

Day 4 and a half

 

finish my drawings

 

WHOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO

[brownage]

Thanks a lot hellodoe! I really appreciate it! Well they have been together for 4 months now so I honestly don't know how long it will last. I can't focus on that though, must focus on myself only!

 

I hope you can work through your ordeal as well, must be tough since it may feel like she is pressuring you to contact her

 

Anyhow -- I just want to say that you're super pretty judging from your profile picture

 

(Sorry if that was creepy!)

[hellodoe]

hey brownage!

who knows really what it means, but all that matters is you.

it makes me smile that you see that!

 

my situation with my ex is confusing at best haha (:

 

p.s. not creepy at all!

thank you v much, i'm sure if i saw your picture i'd say

you're quite attractive yourself

[hellodoe]

i'm doing pretty good

 

i'm taking the SAT in June

 

and i agree it's gets better from here

 

i'm v happy for you

 

+

the SAT is so overrated!

I hated it, math is not my forte..

thank god colleges are taking SAT scores less and less seriously.

[nauum]

Ok so ex broke up very wishy washy over text like two weeks ago...I went into NC and now he's been texting really short texts over the last three days...not sure when he wanted the break but couldn't say why. What the heck do I do now?

 

There are three trains of thought that I have: one is not to respond, next is to ask why he's texting when he did the splitting and third is the advice from someone on here (which I've been kind of following) is to just respond short no relationships talk because maybe my expectations were so high and the pressure of the whole thing was making him distanced and that this way he is feeling comfortable getting back talking to me.

 

HELP.. your thoughts?

 

Lynne

[Animelover6764]

i'm v happy for you

 

+

the SAT is so overrated!

I hated it, math is not my forte..

thank god colleges are taking SAT scores less and less seriously.

 

Thanks and i know right thank God

[jellysandwich]

Ending day 5 now. Honestly, this is a lot harder than I thought. I thought it would be easy peezy considering:

 

1) She doesn't regret her decision to break up

2) She wants me to move on

3) She wants me to find another girl

4) She considers me an "important friend"

5) I don't expect her to ever contact me again after I sent my goodbye message

 

Maybe because it's the weekend and I'm bored Oh well, I have gym and work tomorrow to help!

[brownage]

I'm glad that makes you smile hellodoe!

 

And Jelly -- all those 5 points relate to my situation as well! I hate when the dumper says "you should get a girlfriend" or "you will find someone better than me" -- they're obviously feeling guilty for something. = \

 

Going to the gym helps! I started doing recently and it makes me feel great! Still a tiny bit sore though, but once that goes away I'm back in business = )

 

I wish I had a job too though...

[rigguy]

I'm glad that makes you smile hellodoe!

 

And Jelly -- all those 5 points relate to my situation as well! I hate when the dumper says "you should get a girlfriend" or "you will find someone better than me" -- they're obviously feeling guilty for something. = \

 

Going to the gym helps! I started doing recently and it makes me feel great! (

 

Beats "it's not me it's you" approach many dumpers take.

[hater13]

Ending day 5 now. Honestly, this is a lot harder than I thought. I thought it would be easy peezy considering:

 

1) She doesn't regret her decision to break up

2) She wants me to move on

3) She wants me to find another girl

4) She considers me an "important friend"

5) I don't expect her to ever contact me again after I sent my goodbye message

 

Maybe because it's the weekend and I'm bored Oh well, I have gym and work tomorrow to help!

 

sounds like my ex exactly!! except he stated that if he ever does regret the decision that's his own problem

[Rotxsen]

Day 93

 

I think my final Step on moving on it's to retire from this website for a while.

[Poetry Guy]

Day #10

 

This was an interesting day. I hung out with one of my best friends and her daughters: we went to church together, to lunch, to the gym, and then later hung out at her place when she made dinner for all of us and we watched Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. haha

 

That made for a nice flashback to some better days and some fond memories when I was younger.

 

As the night wore on though, I started thinking about my ex and her own daughter, and as my friend and I were listening to some of her favorite songs on her Ipod I started to feel an incredible pain in my heart - and not of the cardiac arrest variety.

 

I politely excused myself (it was getting late anyways) and then on the drive home, for the first time since I broke up with her, I cried. And I don't cry very often - in fact, I can't even recall the last time I did so. Still, regardless of how hostile and bitter she was in the final week of the relationship and especially after I broke up with her, I do still value the good times and the things that were unique to her and her alone. Tears help to cleanse the soul and are just a natural part of the process that we all go through when we break up/lose someone we love.

 

To be a little unorthodox and probably go against the grain of what most other people on here would recommend, I popped in our CD with the playlist of our songs after I was done with the waterworks session and can honestly say that I just kind of sat back on my couch with a smile on my face - thinking about the good memories, but also not being in pain or saddened.

 

I think the only thing that I really want at this point is for her hatred of me to stop. I did way more for her than any of her previous boyfriends and virtually everything that I did was a first for her, which is in part the reason she had such a difficult time adjusting to it. I feel unresolved in that I probably loved her the most, yet am, as of yet at any rate, the only "ex" that she "hates" and has no desire to be friends with.

 

But...the breakup is still raw. Only 10 days old. I want to be able to talk to her and explain some things, but she can be a very angry person who had told me to "leave her alone so she could get over it and move on" when I ironically I was the one who dumped her.

 

Either way, I had a great day today as a whole with what I consider to be "therapeutic" tears. The necessary ones.

 

And I feel ok about that.

[brownage]

Day 21:

 

Feeling downer again. I miss her a lot today. Sometimes I have fantasies that she'll come crying at my door-step asking for a second chance at our relationship, but that's all it is -- a fantasy. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Posting here really does help me feeling better though and I'm glad. I'd block/delete her off msn but she had already did that to me. When I was doing my NC speech to her she still asked me if she could see me on my birthday and I reluctantly agreed to it.

 

I don't know if I really want to see the person whom "I potentially wanted to spend the rest of my life with and shattered my heart" on my birthday. I'm going to be turning 19 so maybe I can plan something super fun with my friends.

 

However, I don't know what to do if she does contact me on my birthday and asks me to hang out or something. Blah, what am I doing? She dumped me for another guy -- why would she even care about me? = \

 

Best not to get my hopes up. Time to write a journal entry now.

[marshmallito]

Day 23.

another day

[R_wants_R_back]

day 8.... 1.5 months since the break-up

 

actually the longest I've gone without speaking to her in nearly 5 years.... weird when you put it like that...

[BobbyC]

Tomorrow makes 14 days. It's usually right around that time that I hear something from her. It's my intention to ignore anything from her. I've been doing okay so far, I have some urges to get in touch with her but have been able to keep myself from doing so.

[sighh]

Day 31:

I am feeling a lot better recenty, but there's still those times where i'm thinking about her and about how she ended it. I try to let go as best as i can, i'm succeeding but i just need more time. Last saturday she suddently started talking too me on msn. Asking me how i was doing. I ignored her, it is hard. But I have to, for my own sake. I also didn't feel like re-adding her and deleting her again, and maybe see stuff that i wouldn't want to. Yesterday, I was busy working for school. So I wasn't really paying attention to my cellphone. Apparently she sent me an SMS to ask me how i was doing. I haven't replied to that one either. And i doubt I will. What part of No Contact does she not understand?

 

I'm wondering, and thinking that she's starting to miss me. But i refuse to believe that, because that's not the cause. I can't let my hopes up. I'm finally starting to get better, i don't need any drawbacks.

 

She left me for someone else, and she crushed my feelings. I'm finally starting to accept that it's over, and that we'll never get back together. A part of me is sad because of this, but another part has accepted it. I just need a little more time, and I'm sure i'll get over this.

 

Writing about this sure makes you feel better.

I thank you ENA, you're the best.

[Poetry Guy]

Day #11

 

Starting to wonder a little bit whether or not my continued participation in this thread is only making things harder. I've considered it to be very therapeutic for now in terms of typing out my own thoughts, feelings, and emotions almost like I would in a personal journal of some kind but sometimes it also feels as though I am not allowing myself the time and space that I need to "move on". It's an interesting Catch-22 but ultimately I'm still here typing these posts and recording my thoughts so I probably would have still been having the thoughts anyways regardless of whether or not I chose to post them in this thread.

 

I've definitely had some very strong urges at times to attempt to contact her, especially because I'm the dumper, but with the way she kind of turned the tables and told me to leave her alone so she could "get over it and move on" it's a little bit confusing as to what I ultimately want to do. Even though I maintained my composure throughout the breakup, she was very hostile at times and has told everybody she knows, including some of my own friends, that she "hates" me. I don't understand the concept of "hate" but more importantly, I really do not like ending things with anybody I once loved on a bad note with burned bridges.

 

Still, if she is not open or receptive to receiving an apology - whether it be soon or something much later on down the road - is something that is out of my control. Maybe she really wants me to apologize despite telling her to leave me alone, maybe she really does hate me...who knows. I don't hate her though and if hatred and burned bridges is the route she wants to take then she is ultimately hurting herself more than she is hurting me.

 

"Holding onto anger is like holding onto a hot coal that you intend to throw at someone else: in the end, you are the one who gets burned" - that is a paraphrased quote from Buddha. (I'm a Christian btw, but the quote is nevertheless a good one)

 

Having a good day so far but thoughts of her definitely fill my mind on a very regular basis throughout the day.

[R_wants_R_back]

Having a good day so far but thoughts of her definitely fill my mind on a very regular basis throughout the day.

 

Ain't that the truth.... at least the snooker is back on in 40 minutes come on Dott!!

[Animelover6764]

Day 5

 

Hot day and i'm feeling fine

[hater13]

Day- lost count/ don't even care anymore

 

it's been over a month, not sure how many days of NC, I've stopped counting.

 

 

Ok so today was a great day went for a jog was with my friend all day, so i've been great. Didn't think of the ex even once. Haven't checked his facebook in WEEKS and no longer have the need to (who cares what he does or who he talks to).

 

Starting to realize that facebook is DRAMA and thinking of removing it for good

 

been working/exercising/ reconnecting with friends and family that I ignored during my relationship

 

i love my friend & family

 

still have recurring dreams about ex.....they aren't even happy reconciliation dreams. weirrddd

[hater13]

I can relate to the first paragraph. i'm thinking of leaving this place foreverrrr

[dont know]

Well, its day 21! Been doing relatively great since the breakup lately. Had one of my worst times in the past 2 weeks today as I was just thinking about her smile and all the good times we had together.. Then to get rid of that, I just kept thinking about how much she held me down and frustrated me throughout the relationship.

 

I've been much more consistent about going to the gym now. I used to go 3-4 times a week to lift, but now I'm lifting every day and running 2-4 miles a day. I'm considering entering a 10k run sometime in the next month too! I've started to realize how much my ex girlfriend really did hold me down during our relationship too. Though I loved her and all she offered me, I realize that I'm a much happier, funloving, and friendly person now that I'm single. Not to mention confident... Lately just been studying for finals the past few days and I cant wait to be back home with my family.

 

On a sidenote, I'm kind of worried I'll run into her at the local gym back home. I'm preparing myself for the worst even though I dont quite know what that is. If I do see her and make eye contact (pray to god we dont), I'll just give her a small smile and wave and keep on going with my business.

[marshmallito]

Day 24

I have to focus on other things, I waste time dreaming up excuses to contact him after my 30 days is up.

Hopefully I won't be back on this site for a few days... we shall see

[brownage]

Feeling another downer today.

 

Sometimes it might difficult to comprehend for me sometimes but.. I still love her, and miss her, however, she basically dumped me to go to another guy, and strung me along like a piece of junk.

 

I'm glad I went NC. After we broke up, we'd mainly talk on msn, and she has an obsession with Lady Gaga. She would constantly rehearse Lady Gaga lyrics on msn. Such as: "You and me could write a bad romance" or "I'm a free b**ch baby"

 

I know it's not her per se that I want back, it's the way she was before and our old relationship when it was in its prime. That's the thing I want back. I definitely don't want the current her back though, that's for sure.

 

But you know what? I'm glad that I dated her at the time I did. At the time I started dating her, university wasn't there to depress us out, we were both so much more relaxed and carefree. And it's too bad for the new guy, he has to deal with her constant Lady Gaga lyrics but I'm sure he's loving it. He has to deal with her new self that is more heartless, well she was to me when she broke it off.

 

Back when I dated her, for the majority of the relationship she was the most caring girlfriend -- taking care of me if I didn't feel well, always making me smile.

 

She just got more iffy near the end of the relationship. I'm going to find someone x2000 better than her one day. Despite my feelings for her, I know I don't need her, and I definitely don't want her the way she is now.