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confused and need some advice


lostsomewhere

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my ex girlfriend and I dated for 2 yrs, after the first year I moved to CO(we are originally from MN) for an internship and she moved to St louis for school, well I am graduating and moving down to be with her in april, however back in june 08 she found out I talked to my ex from 3yrs ago and got upset, we got passed it but then in Nov 08 it happenend again and I lied to her at first and then told her the truth, we broke up but still kinda dated for a month while she was back for xmas break then in jan 09 she asked me out again, all was well I went to st louis for valentines day and when I left she said she couldn't live with out me and cried for an hour b/c she missed me already. Here's where things go down hill, 5 days later she calls and says she can't get over the past, I agreed with the break up and told her i understand, b/c I do my actions really hurt her and she didn't believe that I changed, which I have i told myself i will never do anything like that to her again and i havent. We didnt talk much for the next 6 days till she calls me crying b/c she missed me and found out I was going to the bars and didn't want me to sleep with anyone. The next night she calls, we talk, she wants to work it out and when she comes back for spring break we will talk about how to fix this, the next 5 days were her midterms so we didn't talk much then 5 days later she calls and says she is dating someone else! We meet for dinner a few nights later and she says she doesn't want to see me, but in the car afterwards she was crying b/c she wanted us to work out so bad, and we kissed and held hands and cuddled but then said i dont want to see you again. She texted me the next morning and calls when I don't respond to her text, I kept it brief, then 3 days later I wake up to find she called me at 240am. i was sleeping so i didnt answer, but i called her back the next day to make sure everything is alright. she never called me back. I really want her back but am unsure of what to do...

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UPDATE: So after 4 days of NC she sends me a text asking how I am, I was at work so i didnt respond till i got off and i told her i was doing well, and going to watch lepracaun(sp?) wrestling at a bar and asked how she was, three hours later she says she is doing well and glad im doing well. This mornong she says she is sorry for texting me last night, blames it on being drunk, I dont respond and 1.5hrs later she calls and leaves me a voicemail saying "sorry for calling you last night, i dont have class till 11 so give me call before then or whenever you can, but if you cant no big deal, hope you have a good day."

 

Any thoughts or advice on what to do, I havent called her yet

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Leave it at that as for the drunk dialing does, Happy St. Pattie's!

As for the birthday, you can be courteous, wish her a happy bday through text, or a small phonecall. by small, I mean "Hey you, happy birthday, all the best and enjoy your day!". Short and simple, no need to drag it out or anything by asking questions.

 

Wishing a person happy bday is courteous, and shows you care. From the way you're describing the story, it seems as though your relationship suffered from abandonment issues. The constant on/off thing, distance, travelling does take an emotional toll on both parties.

 

All the best.

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Wish her a happy birthday, be polite and move on, and dont worry about this other guy, if she just jumped into it like you said she is probably just trying to bury her feelings for you in him, and most rebound relationships dont last, some do, but most dont, chin up man it will get better

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UPDATE: Ok so since yesterday she texted me asking if I was doing ok, and said she was excited for me to move down, asked if I was etc...then she says that the week I come down is her easter break and she needs a place to stay ans wants to stay with me for 4 days and she also she wants to get lunch i have no idea what to think now, anybodies opinion or comments on this would be very helpful

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From everything I've seen, read, and know about relationships, experiences, etc., I'm pretty sure this girl will be back. She seems WAY TOO emotionally insecure, I don't think she has sat down and really thought about what shes doing, and seems overall confused.

 

What you should do? Read Jpete's thread, or ashun's past threads, do exactly what they did. If you're gonna mourn it, mourn it. Then, have some fun. Try and let go. Be productive. Be laid back about the situation with her as much as you can, even when she calls or texts and you decide to respond. I honestly wouldn't worry too much. She could have friends telling her what to do, who knows, based on that bipolar behavior. Stay in there, try not to get too depressed, this very well could just be a bump in the road. Always keep in mind, however, that it could be a mountain, one that you will never be able to climb. So keep an open mind, but at the same time, live up your life. A lot of us on average spend around 2/3's of our lives with a woman or man, in a relationship or marriage, so really, enjoy your time being single.

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