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Recent contact from ex, what to make of it?


iceman85
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS

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Hey everyone, my ex of 2 years broke up with me back in june, then basically came back 99% of the way then stuck with a guy she works with and has been with him ever since. She told me during the stretch that she loved me and wanted to get back with me and that it would happen, i gave her three weeks heard nothing, I asked her and she said she loved him, I then cut all contact. The last time I spoke to her was September 2nd.

 

Middle of February, I get a strange feeling of her presence being with me that day. I unblocked her from AIM a few days earlier based on gut feel. She IMs me the day I get the feeling of her presence, its basically just small talk, I dont reveal much, I tell her it was too bad she didnt want to come along for the ride with me, she says shes happy but then says she doesnt know, she wasnt happy, it was confusing but shes happy, she gets to drink with everyone on friday nights, school is fun etc. I tell her im happy for her. She seems to be her old self and drops things to me to make me know she is still the same for the most part. The conversation ends and thats that, I dont hear from her again until...

 

Tonight out of the blue she ims me, tells me she saw a person we used to work with the other day. This is the only thing she says other than that it was weird. I tell her thats great and dont say anything else, waiting to see just why she would im me out of the blue with something like this. She doesnt say anything. I tell her i hope shes doing well and end the conversation, she just says thx.

 

Now I ask why would she contact me out of the blue for something so pointless? Why after this long? and its kinda freaky I felt that presence that first day she contacted me. Its my belief that she has to have thought about me in order to talk to me at all, but im confused about it, any help? By the way she is 19 and im 23 to give this some perspective

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Well, you were a big part of her life because you dated for 2 years. Yes she chose someone else over you, but she still probably misses you from time to time. There's no way the other guy is better than you in every way.

 

However, IMing someone is the form of communication that requires THE LEAST thought. When you text, call, or email someone, you specifically thought of them, typed in the number or the email address, and sent it. With the phone and email you don't know if the person will be able to answer, reply, or write back. With IMing, the person's name is right there on the buddy list, showing that they too are sitting at their computer. It reminds you of their existence, and gives you something to do if you get bored. Your ex may have been sitting online, saw your name, and decided to tell you a random fact. It doesn't really mean she THOUGHT of you.

 

Either way I'd just ignore it and keep moving on. I don't think it means much.

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Nothing. I know there is no textbook answer, but imo she just misses you from time to time or aspects of you/the relationship. My ex does this every now and then, mostly when things aren't going so well on her end. Does it ever mean anything? Not really. She never acts on it, and I mostly hear about her missing me 'through the grapevine.'

 

Definitely keep NC.

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