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my boyfriends psycho ex girlfriend

How to leave an abusive relationshi...
How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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In some ways i really wish i could help her, in other ways i just want to hold her down and scream at her for being so selfish.


this is completely too long, as it's been almost a year since i started dealing with this.



when him and i first began seeing each other they were still hanging out often, she was taking pictures of his house that he was remodeling, and she had threatened suicide a few times if he left her. They had actually broken up about 5 months before i met him, but we're still friends.



Anyway, she ended up e-mailing me asking who i was and what my relationship with him was. she said him and her we're "best friends".

he asked me not to respond, and i didn't, but her requests continued...

she wrote this big long e-mail about how him and her we're still dating and that he would make her look like the "psycho" ex and that she wanted to truth, i told her that if this was true she needed to leave him and not look back.

when i confronted him he told me about her, and how he was the only one she'd ever been with, and that they dated in highschool for a little while, and got back together a few years later...




me and him began dating, while she continued to take pics of the house, he told me he couldn't tell her yet that he'd moved on, he said he was afraid she m ight hurt herself. I've heard her pn the phone threaten to "slit her throat" because he had stopped talking to her, so i know.

one day i spent the night and woke up to her punching him in the face while he slept and screaming at him for not telling her. He told her to leave, that she had no right to be there, etc. She screamed at him "is she your gf!" to which he replied yes...


i was sitting in his room, sort of flabbergasted at all this, when she came to the door and actually had the balls to ask me if she could "talk to her friend" (she was asking me to leave).


He told her to get out, and she finally did. But she stayed outside and continued calling his house, saying she needed to talk to him.


I left for work and he called me and told me things were going to be okay, that she had called a friend who had said "if you love him, you have to be happy for him"


things we're great

we became that perfect couple that everyone envies.


Then she started again


phone calls

she hacked his myspace and facebook and blocked me from his facebook...

she faked 2 myspace accounts to try and be friends with both of us

even added my friends to make me think i might know her

and her other fake one had pics of a girl he went to school with, which she pretended to be...

she sat at his neighbors house staring out the basement window at us

she put a few dents in his car

she again hacked his myspace and with the information she got (messages between me and him, etc) used that to make me believe they we're talking.


she hacked his facebook and sent messages to girls flirting (only reason i KNOW this is because at the time these messages were sent, he was sleeping in the other room, as i lived with him at the time).


she got a ps3, and was continually sending friend requests, somehow they kept poping up even though he kept blocking her. finally we realized that she had his password (as he had never changed his gmail act password, and that was his e-mail adress) and was unblocking herself. she even sent herself a friend request and messages to make me think he was talking to her. lucky for me messages can't be deleted one by one, only all of them at the same time, and there we're 2 messages at different times with different crap (in other words there should have been more)


not that the passwords have changed there's been no more problems.


except (lol of course)


the calling















etc etc


i've witnessed her call 56 times in an hour....


she's also friends with one of his friends (his friend is like... in love with her) and she uses everything he tells her to make me think they're talking, or he's cheating, anything to make me leave him.


(he got a bracelet from his little cousin for christmas, i wasn't there, he told his friend about it and she tried to convince me that another girl gave it to him, and that he'd been seeing this other girl for 5 months...)



I've found all these loopholes, and caught her in her lies, and i'm not THAT stupid to not know about being cheated on for 5 months, especially when we see each other every day.


I am just so tired of this

it's been a year since this all started...


what do i do???

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I'm sorry that you're in this situation.


But your post raises a lot of questions, such as: How did she get your e-mail address?


Why hasn't he filed a restaining order? Isn't he afraid that she could harm you?


Not to sound harsh, but it doesn't sound as if he's truly moved on from her, especially when he said he was afraid to tell her that he has moved on, because she might hurt herself.


I think that you need to address this with him, more so than with her.

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she knew i wasn't there when he got the bracelet (a little handmade thing his 10 yr old cousin made him for christmas), so she tried to convince me that another girl made it for him, and that he'd been cheating on me with said girl... somehow she got said girl to play her game with her and try and tell me that he had in fact been cheating, but when she said he'd spent every night at her house, i knew it was a lie... as he's spent every night with me... lol so unfortunately for them i'm not a complete idiot. She didn't get my e-mail address, she found me on his myspace and was sending messages through that.


Oh and it was durring the day time, workers we're there, the house was unlocked, she just barged right in...

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There actually technically is... she's legally not supposed to call him and he's not supposed to call her, the cops we're involved about 2 months ago when she showed up at his house.


but she does it anyway, and he just ignores her.


we have talked about when he said he didn't want to tell her yet, that was a year ago, the first few weeks of our relationship... he said if she ever asked he would, but she never did. He thinks she was too afraid of learning the truth.

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she hasn't tried to actually come by since the cops we're called, but she was calling him at 4am this morning while i was over, and god knows how many times today (he works nights and sleeps all day) sometimes it's only once in the morning, sometimes it's more than i can count...

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until recently she's stayed away, but the other day i was with him in his car and she didn't know i was there and tried to chase his car down... she has NOT come by since the cops were called, but sometimes hangs out with his next door neighbor (no complaints there, except when we wanna hang out lol)

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he says he never answers. but of course, as a person, i worry, and since this girl has been trying to shove doubt down my throat since day one, it hasn't been easy... in all honesty though he just ignores her. never answers, unless she starts screaming on his answering machine, then he picks up and hangs up...

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I am not looking for advice on him, i trust him. I want to help her, or somehow get her to move on...or get some advice on how i can stop letting her affect me. i thought she was going to move on when she met someone else, but apparently she can't because she's in love with my bf...

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well for right now he's living with his dad and dad's gf, it's his house she's been calling... and blocking her number would cost $$ that his dad is not willing to spend. Plus she's a crafty lady, and she'd just get his new number from their mutual friends.

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no, he's never said anything like that. From what i've understood, he never even said i love you in their relationship, and she's devastated that he could love me and not her. She asks "what's so special about her" and asks her friends why it couldn't be her, etc. No he hasn't lead her on at all. He says she wants him as miserable as her... but who knows, i've tried talking to her, but she just lies and says all opposites... she's not a quitter, she just keeps going, even when i catch her lies and prove her wrong, she just keeps going...

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no, she's just actually psycho... even his father told me so, and his neighbor's mom and all his friends.... but i understand where you are coming from also, as that's how i've felt for a LONG time, that he HAD to be talking to her for her to keep this up this long... but slowly i really saw everything that was going on, and just... feel bad for this girl.

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they dated for like a month in highschool, and never even saw eachother outside of school... he says when he re-met her after she graduated she said she had "loved him all along" and yeah he dated several ppl between his 1st relationship with her and the 2nd. She really thinks he's her soulmate, but i think it's more obsession than love, that's what some of his friends say.

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i'd also like to thank you guys, especially misskitty, i didn't expect to get some advice so fast, i wish i would have done this a year ago, i appreciate it a whole lot.


Oh yet, quite irritating... which is why i came here... a year of this "irritation" seems to be enough...but i guess you just have to let the irritating stuff go and ignore it... i just wish i could send her to Guam or something lol.

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