Keyman Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 So I feel like it is finally over. For those that have been following the drama of my break up… She broke up with me 3 weeks ago now. I moved on, started dating. She contacted me again and things progressed during the week We spent V-day together with all intentions of getting things going again, including a frantic love making session I cancelled a date for the following day, she asked what I was doing, I told her, she hit the roof and then asked for space… From my previous break up, I understand that I can get a little obsessive after a break up. So knowing this, when she broke up with me, I tried to move on as fast as possible, and things were good… no obsessing. But after she discovered I had started dating again (which was her hitting the roof after V-day) she’d asked for space. I was devastated and decided not to move on so quickly to allow her to have space and hopefully come back. But guess what… the obsessive behaviour began again. I just wanted to email her, and do stuff for her and did some art and email her some more. It took me less than a week to realised what I was doing and tried to put a stop to it. Saturday I went to hang with a friend, got drunk and set my mind in the right place. I was stopping contacting her and I was moving on again. Sunday, was great, I felt like I did the day after she’d broken up with me. Sure about getting on with my life and happy again. Got to work Monday morning, to find an email from her saying she’d just checked email for the first time in a week and saw all my emails and suggested we chat in person instead of email. This was like an emotional kick in the stomach and I felt like throwing up and ended up going home sick (it might have been the chicken the night before, but I think it rather an emotional conflux, as that happens with me). Leading up to finding the email, I had feelings that things weren’t over. So I emailed her back to say, sure, I will meet with you, just let me know when. Then when I got home, I emailed her to let her know I was sick, if she wanted to come over and chat about it – she’s not working at the moment. I got a message mid evening to say she was very full on at the moment and could we have a chat mid to late next week. Mid to late next week??? This was to discuss what she wanted from us. So, I’ve become just a time in her diary I responded by telling her that I was not prepared to wait 10 days to find out what she wanted to do with my heart, so I declined her request to meet up. No response. I then wrote her a last email telling her how I transition to friends from lovers – I need a minimum of 3-6 months separation, then we can catch up for a coffee to chat. So I suggested she diary me in, in 3-6 months or to just leave it up to fate. I wished her well and signed off. No response. While I did not actively state that I just wanted to be friends, my intention was for her to think this. Considering I had said numerous times in my emails over the past week that I wanted to get us going again, I was hoping she would get the message and leave me alone. Which I believe she now has. With all the pushing away she has been doing, I am guessing that she does not want to continue a serious relationship, thus the friendship email. Since she has not said what she wants, even based on no response from my ‘what are your intentions’ email, I guess she wants to just be friends or perhaps nothing at all. I actually don’t want anything at all, I don’t want to be involved with her even at a friends level. My heart still wants to be involved with her though. So, going forward, I am glad to be stepping away from her and hoping not to see her again, but should she turn up and want me, or email more and actually fight for me, then my heart will override my brain and I will go with her – which will be bad for my emotional health. She wont contact me again, I’m pretty sure of that. So now, it is onwards and upwards to better things. I finally get the feeling that it is over for good. But I’m sure to write if something further happens! Thanks everyone! Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 She seems still kind of in love with you, by the sound of things. What do you think? I'm confused why people can't be honest with their feelings? if you care about someone, can't you just try to work it out? Why people try to make the relationship as complicated as possible? I just don't get it... Link to comment
DN Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 She seems still kind of in love with you, by the sound of things. What do you think? I'm confused why people can't be honest with their feelings? if you care about someone, can't you just try to work it out? Why people try to make the relationship as complicated as possible? I just don't get it... It's a strange, destructive and hurtful kind of love if she is. Link to comment
Girl wants EX Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I mean, it doesn't seem like she is completely over him. Anyway, by reading this story, I just realize again how complex relationships can be... Link to comment
Keyman Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 She seems still kind of in love with you, by the sound of things. What do you think? I'm confused why people can't be honest with their feelings? if you care about someone, can't you just try to work it out? Why people try to make the relationship as complicated as possible? I just don't get it... I do actually think she has feelings for me, she is just not sure... It's her first real deep love experience, but she is being overreactive because of it and is not knowing what she wants or how to deal with it. This is what has kept me hanging on, but I want to close off to it, because as DN says, it is getting destructive with my feelings - which is not her intentions - but if I keep trying to hang on, it will keep hurting worse and worse until I end up back where I was when she met me, in a pit of despair left over from my previous girlfriend. I aint going there again, so moving on... Oh, and, we are both complex people in a complex relationship. It was damn fulfilling, intense and felt good, when it was working, just when it didn't, or we butted heads, it was like murder... Link to comment
Fionnuala Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 That's too bad. I was hoping she'd get over herself and work things out with you, 'cause she kind of reminded me of the not so good parts of myself that I'm trying to work on. So I guess I'm just projecting! But I was rooting for you guys! Oh well. Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like you're dealing really well. Link to comment
Keyman Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 That's too bad. I was hoping she'd get over herself and work things out with you, 'cause she kind of reminded me of the not so good parts of myself that I'm trying to work on. So I guess I'm just projecting! But I was rooting for you guys! Oh well. Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like you're dealing really well. Hey! In my heart, I too hoped that she would be able to work through it and we could start to head forward. Maybe she still will, but she will have to do some work to get me back again as I wont let her play with my heart any more. She is someone that sees things that needs to be worked on easily, which is something I was fond of with her, so she does sound a little like you. Thanks for the kind thoughts! Link to comment
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