My first date with the florida girl

[grymoire]

I thought you did well on your first date. Although it's probably not what you wanted, you might have been able to go all the way with her that night.

 

Like some of the guys here say, go call her. You have nothing to lose.

 

Thanks man..

 

wow... from the responses in this thread it is so obvious how DIFFERENT men and women think

[hers]

Of course men & women think differently! But lucky for you, it's giving you many different perspectives so you can see how you can act in the future.

[Lowconfidence]

Thanks man..

 

wow... from the responses in this thread it is so obvious how DIFFERENT men and women think

 

I thought you should have pushed the buttons even more. She didn't mind staying out later with you. She didn't push you away from kissing or hugging you. You probably could have even invited yourself up to her room and possibly stayed the night.

 

But again everyone changes their mind. She might have had time to reconsider the LD consequences and decided against it. But call her at least once otherwise it will be a 'What-if' and you don't want that hanging on your head.

[grymoire]

Of course men & women think differently! But lucky for you, it's giving you many different perspectives so you can see how you can act in the future.

 

yea... its quite interesting actually..

[grymoire]

I thought you should have pushed the buttons even more. She didn't mind staying out later with you. She didn't push you away from kissing or hugging you. You probably could have even invited yourself up to her room and possibly stayed the night.

 

But again everyone changes their mind. She might have had time to reconsider the LD consequences and decided against it. But call her at least once otherwise it will be a 'What-if' and you don't want that hanging on your head.

 

yea.. i cud have gone further... but i don't know... i just stopped...

 

but at that time i was assuming that i am gonna be meeting her pretty soon in Florida as she said I can come over there...

 

the whole thing has now taken a set back because she declined my wanting to see her at the airport.. and that i honestly did not expect..

 

i am going to make the call and see how it goes.

[penelope13]

Summary

 

the men you should have "pushed" for more

the women maybe you came on too strong

 

I think it all depends on the premises of what your goal for that date was.

 

the men go as far as you possibly can go, regardless of what the long term goals are

the women always think about the possibility to turn this into a long term relationship.

 

(sorry to anyone who said the opposite, or something totally different ;-) )

[grymoire]

Summary

 

the men you should have "pushed" for more

the women maybe you came on too strong

 

I think it all depends on the premises of what your goal for that date was.

 

the men go as far as you possibly can go, regardless of what the long term goals are

the women always think about the possibility to turn this into a long term relationship.

 

(sorry to anyone who said the opposite, or something totally different ;-) )

 

this was my goal - "think about the possibility to turn this into a long term relationship" but now i am wondering if i should have had this as my goal - "go as far as you possibly can go, regardless of what the long term goals are"

[hers]

this was my goal - "think about the possibility to turn this into a long term relationship" but now i am wondering if i should have had this as my goal - "go as far as you possibly can go, regardless of what the long term goals are"

 

 

Why do you feel you shouldve had that as your goal instead of what you did have?

[penelope13]

at least now we see where your confusion comes from ;-).

 

I thought you wanted this date as an opportunity to get more experience for future dates with someone who could hopefully turn out to be a possibility for a long term relationship.

[grymoire]

I gave a call... it kept ringing and went to voicemail.. I left a message saying that i wanted to know about her ski trip and her journey back home..

 

I think it is over...

 

I have called her several times but this is the first time it going to her vm (and i see that she is online in the dating site we met

[hers]

Don't be disappointed. It wasn't realistic in the first place.

[grymoire]

Don't be disappointed. It wasn't realistic in the first place.

 

Thanks as always Hers

[penelope13]

Gry, in many ways it's probably a good thing that it didn't work out. LDR are just soo hard to begin, if you are apart.

[grymoire]

She just now called.

 

She sounded very tired.. I said "you sound very tired" and she said "yea.. i was actually sleeping... i woke up because the lights and everything else was still on... and i saw that you had left a message.. so i wanted to call you back and say hi"..

 

I said its fine.. we can talk some other time and asked her to go take a nap.

 

man.... this girl is confusing... if she is not interested why would she return my call .... i am not going to analyze anything any more... i will just let things take its own course...

[hers]

I would think a call back would say she's interested still. Why do you think she woudln't be interested?

[grymoire]

I would think a call back would say she's interested still. Why do you think she woudln't be interested?

 

I assumed she was no longer interested because she declined when I wanted to meet her at the airport. Also she said she will text/call before departing and she did not.

 

But now she has returned my call... Lemme just see how things go from here..

[hers]

Maybe her family took her to the airport. Maybe she ended up running late trying to get her flight. There coudl be a bunch of different reasons. your'e too analytical!

[hers]

Why do you feel you shouldve had that as your goal instead of what you did have?

 

Still curious about this answer!

[grymoire]

Maybe her family took her to the airport. Maybe she ended up running late trying to get her flight. There coudl be a bunch of different reasons. your'e too analytical!

 

i agree... i am over-thinking..

 

that's why i decided to stop analyzing and let things take their own course.

[grymoire]

Still curious about this answer!

 

i just said that out of frustration... don't take it seriously....

[DN]

I agree that you are over-analysing. But then so are a lot of people on this thread.

 

It is usually a mistake to go over what happened on a date with a view to seeing what went wrong or what went right unless there was something very clearly right or wrong. The reason is that the next date will be under different circumstances and probably with a different woman. And they are all individuals so telling one woman she is attractive twice on the first date may be over-bearing but to another it is just what they want to hear. There is no way you can predict that.

 

Look for the most obvious reason - it is usually the right one. She was in town for a limited number of days and had lots to do and other people to spend time with and still spent an evening with you and seemed to have a good time. But the distance factor is probably why she is not going to allow this to advance any further. So don't take it personally and keep on looking for a woman who is available in every way including being able to see her frequently.

 

You did OK - don't be overly upset it didn't go as well as you hoped.

[grymoire]

Thanks a lot DN

 

I called and left a voicemail yesterday and she promptly returned the call.

 

I will just see how it goes while pursuing other women that live close to me.

[Dubb]

Thanks a lot DN

 

I called and left a voicemail yesterday and she promptly returned the call.

 

I will just see how it goes while pursuing other women that live close to me.

 

So what happen man?

[grymoire]

So what happen man?

 

when i called her monday evening it went to her voicemail... and then she called me back... she sounded very tired... she said she was actually sleeping but noticed that the lights and computer were still ON and she wanted to turn them OFF... that's when she noticed that i had called her and wanted to call back.. we spoke briefly and i asked her to take a nap as she sounded really tired..

 

she called yesterday night before going to bed... we had a good conversation...

 

i am planning to skip today and call her tomorrow night..

 

i get the feeling that she is quite interested in me... why else would she call?

[Dubb]

when i called her monday evening it went to her voicemail... and then she called me back... she sounded very tired... she said she was actually sleeping but noticed that the lights and computer were still ON and she wanted to turn them OFF... that's when she noticed that i had called her and wanted to call back.. we spoke briefly and i asked her to take a nap as she sounded really tired..

 

she called yesterday night before going to bed... we had a good conversation...

 

i am planning to skip today and call her tomorrow night..

 

i get the feeling that she is quite interested in me... why else would she call?

 

Maybe so but you still need to get out and meet more women. Work on the local stuff like you said you would. Life will be easier that way.