hers Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 His "gut" was telling him she wanted to go further. HE didn't listen to his "gut" which is why I said he was being the nice guy. Why is being stopped creepy? All I did was suggest for him to continue on a sexual path till she told him she was not comfortable. Not sure why that is confusing. I just would find it creepy if I had to tell a guy to back off b/c he's being too pushy. Link to comment
Dubb Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Hey gry, once again you basically have the guys giving you one advice and the girls giving you another. It is inevitible that one of us is wrong. On a tangent note, I have heard the line by girls that "I know how to give advice to guys on dating, I'm a girl", but this type of reasoning is misleading. Because such a strong majority of girls have never been on a "date" with another girl, so from a guy's perspective they are completely inexperienced. If I wanted to get dating advice from a reliable source, I'd ask other guys who have experience in dating girls. This is just from an analytical standpoint. What he said. I don't say that in a mean spirited way either. I just feel like women give really bad dating advice to guys a lot of the time. That said, I can't imagine a world without you=) Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 The nice guy got a hold of you. See where it got you? Next time be more assertive (the man) Let her stop you. on a separate note, i hope you can understand why i feel confused and frustrated. on the one side i am hearing things like i over-did things and on the other side i was a nice guy that didn't have the balls to take it further despite my gut feelings. Link to comment
Dubb Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I just would find it creepy if I had to tell a guy to back off b/c he's being too pushy. Than chances are you may not of expressed the interest she did and thereforee the guy probably would not of advanced unless he was truly "creepy" Keep in mind she was indicating she enjoyed what he was doing. Basically to a guy telling us to go a bit further. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 on a separate note, i hope you can understand why i feel confused and frsutrated. on the one side i am hearing things like i over-did things and on the other side i was a nice guy that didn't have the balls to take it further despite my gut feelings. lol now that's called giving you an answer before you even ask the question! Please see my post #99 above... Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 lol now that's called giving you an answer before you even ask the question! Please see my post #99 above... haha... yea.. i am just now seeing replies from you, dubb and hers.. i just came back from meeting my manager Link to comment
Dubb Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 on a separate note, i hope you can understand why i feel confused and frsutrated. on the one side i am hearing things like i over-did things and on the other side i was a nice guy that didn't have the balls to take it further despite my gut feelings. Hey man, I by no means am trying to make you feel bad. If anything I am giving you my honest opinion. The reason why is b/c I and probably 99% of the rest of man have been there. Don't be offended b/c I would never intentionally offend anyone. Link to comment
hers Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Than chances are you may not of expressed the interest she did and thereforee the guy probably would not of advanced unless he was truly "creepy" Keep in mind she was indicating she enjoyed what he was doing. Basically to a guy telling us to go a bit further. Well yea when you say it like that it makes more sense & sounds less creepy. Like I said before, it's all about reading a person & knowing what you can do based on that. But Grym, no one said you didn't have balls to make a move. Again, you are taking too much to heart! Stop! What you did was fine. We are telling you what you can do for the future. What's the point in focusing & beating yourself up for what you didn't do on this date? As for girls giving bad advice to guys, I think that's all subjective--i can only say how I'd like a guy to act or how I wouldve taken the behaviour of a guy who said I was beautiful just b/c I said the water was beautiful. I don't think that's bad advice, just subjective advice. Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 Hey man, I by no means am trying to make you feel bad. If anything I am giving you my honest opinion. The reason why is b/c I and probably 99% of the rest of man have been there. Don't be offended b/c I would never intentionally offend anyone. oh no... i am not saying that you are offending me... i am just saying why i am getting confused as i am getting two very different type of replies... i appreciate each and every post in this thread regardless of what the viewpoints are. Link to comment
hers Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 You have to realize, grym, that everything is subjective & we can only give advice based on what our experiences are. Like someone else said, filter thru the advice & tkae what you'd like. Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 You have to realize, grym, that everything is subjective & we can only give advice based on what our experiences are. Like someone else said, filter thru the advice & tkae what you'd like. yea Hers... i have noted the following points for future dating: 1) do not give compliments like "you are beautiful". at best you can say something like "you look nice" 2) kiss her only one time Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 yea Hers... i have noted the following points for future dating: 1) do not give compliments like "you are beautiful". at best you can say something like "you look nice" 2) kiss her only one time Well I would have to disagree with both of these. I have done similar things in the past with positive results. It's all in how you do it. Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 Well I would have to disagree with both of these. I have done similar things in the past with positive results. It's all in how you do it. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ no offense to heloladies Link to comment
Dubb Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Just keep in mind man. Women want a bit of a challenge. Make it fun for them too! There is nothing wrong with being genuine just don't overdo it. This stuff is all calibration and will make more sense with experience. Link to comment
hers Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Exactly what heloladies said in response to both your points Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 Just keep in mind man. Women want a bit of a challenge. Make it fun for them too! There is nothing wrong with being genuine just don't overdo it. This stuff is all calibration and will make more sense with experience. Don't overdo it?!?!?!?! Whatever... the girl has left and is now in FL. PS: not sure if people remember but this is the same girl that i gave up on. at one point i felt i was the one to always initiate things and hence just kept quiet for a while. she then called me up and we started talking again and that's when she said she is coming here. the date followed after that. Link to comment
Dubb Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Don't overdo it?!?!?!?! Again, calibration. You did ok in this scenario. You played it right. Your next date may be much different. Women are different so how you interact with them will be different. That's what I mean by overdoing it. What you did with this girl was perfect but may be too much for a different girl. Thus the potential in overdoing things. I am going to stop commenting on this girl because I really don't want to confuse you man. Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 What you did with this girl was perfect but may be too much for a different girl. Thus the potential in overdoing things. haa.. Thanks. It makes sense... I would add "this girl and under the given circumstances". Ok.. i am going to call this girl and ask her about the ski trip and her journey back home and leave it at that. if she initiates anything (email/calls) after that fine, if not i am writing her off. how does that sound? Link to comment
Dubb Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 That works. Start meeting women in your area too. Get out there and talk! Adopt the no big deal attitude. Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 That works. Start meeting women in your area too. Get out there and talk! Adopt the no big deal attitude. Thanks man.. Thanks everone for contributing in this thread... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I think you're thinking that there is some recipe for success - my comments had to do with this particular situation you described - in another situation more kisses and more compliments might have been perfectly appropriate. Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 I think you're thinking that there is some recipe for success - my comments had to do with this particular situation you described - in another situation more kisses and more compliments might have been perfectly appropriate. I am not looking for some recipe... just some guidance. that's all. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I am not looking for some recipe... just some guidance. that's all. Then if I were you I would avoid taking comments to extremes and assuming that comments are meant to apply to all situations. I wasn't there which I wrote in my response, it just seemed that you were all over her relative to a first meet. I also commented that this could easily have had nothing to do with her lack of enthusiasm to see you again. Link to comment
grymoire Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 Then if I were you I would avoid taking comments to extremes and assuming that comments are meant to apply to all situations. I wasn't there which I wrote in my response, it just seemed that you were all over her relative to a first meet. I also commented that this could easily have had nothing to do with her lack of enthusiasm to see you again. I understand. Even though it was a first time meet we both don't know when we would meet again. Also from the way she was responding it looks like she actually liked what was going on. I don't know... these are only assumptions. I am going to call her one last time and then give up if she does not intiate calls/emails. Link to comment
Lowconfidence Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 I thought you did well on your first date. Although it's probably not what you wanted, you might have been able to go all the way with her that night. Like some of the guys here say, go call her. You have nothing to lose. Link to comment
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