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Age Gap iscussion


dolphin

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Hi All,

 

I am back again, just wondering if anyone can shed some light.

I am seeing a wonderful man, he is 12yrs older than me. He is so wonderful, gentle, romantic. Something i have been looking for for a long time. There has been no sex either. I usally jump in head first but this time i want to make sure it is right. We had a fling about 6 mths ago and we did sleep together, but then we went our separate ways. Now this time we decided we want the full relationship thing. I have been up front and said no sex until i am ready, which he told me he respected. But how long can i make him wait, i dont want to seem like a tease, though i not doing anything wrong. He has already told me he loves me and so has his 12yr old daughter. I told him i cant say those words until i am sure it is true. I want him to love me for me not what happens in the bedroom. Is that too much to ask? How will i know if really does love me, He has already said one day he wants to marry me too.

 

Thanks for listen

Dolphin

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I think love has two parts. Love as an emotion, and love as a form of action, how you treat that person. If he has known you for 2 years, and then you start dating for 6 months, he pretty much has had 2 and a half years to decide whether or not he loves you. That being said, I do think he prolly needs to hold back a little, because if he doesn't, then he will most likely push you away.

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You can't put a time on this - it has to be when you are ready. But equally it is not true that if he loves you he will wait if waiting starts to corrode the relationship.

 

Sex is an integral and important part of a committed relationship - and if he starts to think you are waiting too long he may start questioning your love for him or whether you are really into sex at all.

 

Be careful here - don't make assumptions.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi All,

An update, things are movong along nicely except for one thing.

Sex, this is a bit embarrasing but he cant keep it up long enough, sex is not eveything.

3 seconds and its over and i am left wondering.

He is 53 and i am 41, he did hurt himself and since then this has happened, brocken foot. Any suggestions would be helpful.

 

Dolphin

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