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things every woman should know

parlae

By parlae
in Relationship Advice

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parlae Apprentice

parlae

Posted
Posted

i found this online tonight and thought it was appropriate to share with everyone on ENA.

feel free to respond, or not.

it really made me feel empowered for some reason, lol. so i figured i'd pass it on.

 

have a great night everyone

 

 

 

if a man wants you, nothin can keep him away.

if he doesn't want you, nothin can make him stay.

stop makin excuses for a man and his behavior.

allow your intuition to save you from heartache.

stop tryin to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

slower is better.

never live your life for a man before you find what makes YOU truly happy.

if a relationship ends because the man was not treatin you as you deserve...then hell no you can't "be friends"; a friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

DONT SETTLE

if you feel like he is stringin you along, then he probably is.

don't stay because you think "it'll get better". you'll be mad at yourself a year later for stayin when things don't get better.

the only person you can control in a relationship, is YOU.

maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

if somethin bothers you, speak up

never let a man know everything. he will use it against you later.

you CANNOT change a man's behavior; change comes from within.

always have your own set of friends separate from his.

dont EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job!

do not make him into a quasi-god. he is a MAN. nothing more,nothing less.

never let a man define who you are.

never borrow someone else's man. if he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

a man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

all men are not dogs.

you should not be the one doin all the bendin.. compromise is a TWO-way street.

you need time to heal between relationships...there is nothin cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuin a new relationship.

you should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...

look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

make him miss you sometimes...

when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him--he takes you for granted.

don't fully commit to a man who doesnt give you everything that you need.

♥

"they say it takes a minute to find a special person. an hour to appreciate them. a day to love them. but an entire lifetime to forget them"

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girl68 Apprentice

girl68

Posted
Posted

I also thought: load of crap I've bolded the "crap"

 

1) not really I jumped right in with both feet as did he. that is how we knew, because moving that fast was so easy we haven't looked back since

 

2) I live for him. he makes me truly happy, loving someone so much makes me happy.

 

3) I'm not friends with ex's but it IS possible, sometimes one partner just doesn't know how to act in a relationship but DO know how to maintain a healthy relationship.

 

4) all relationships have "downs" if you alwasy fleet in the down times you'll never have a long lasting relationship. thick AND thin...

 

5) know when to speak up and when to NOT. if you mention every single thing you're ever upset about that's a lot of potential problems. choose your conflicts wisely.

 

6) not all men wish to use "what you say against you in the court of relationships..." that is only a specific brand of men (and women) who do this.

 

7) don't make him feel more important than me? I hope this doesn't suggest you should always think of yourself higher than him? of course I make him feel like (or try to make him feel like) he is the most important person alive, and in my world- he is.

 

8) refer to number 7. he's not a God, but he is my life, my world and my love, others may argue the same feeling towards thier "God"

 

9) meaning like: Jesse's girl? well I am Jesse's girl... but I am also a daughter, a sister, a bestfriend, a caregiver, an assistant, and Jesse's girl.

 

10) this is saying once a cheater always a cheater: I disagree. there are cheaters who cheat once, and only once. not to say it's okay of forgivable but you cannot say once a cheater always a cheater and throw that blanket over all the folks who have cheated.

 

11) some men treat you like a queen no matter what you do. other men treat you like crap no matter what you do. again, don't make general blanket statments.

 

12) my life is not complete without love thereforee my life is not complete without my partner... he is my partner in life. I am my own whole person but my life is not complete without the love of my life. being an idvidual in a relationship is different from wanting to have a partner in your life to complete your life.

 

13) my man completes my life (see above #12). he compliments me in many ways he also supplements to many aspects of my life. he adds something to everything he is in or around. having a partner to compliment you and supplement what you already have is 2 different things, BOTH of which I want.

 

14) maybe so at the begginning but later in life not so much. some men sure, but others value how their partners always make time for them, I know I do. it's a matter of appricating and respecting eachother. making time for your partner is crucial.

 

Those are the points I think are "crap".

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shikashika Mentor

shikashika

Posted
Posted
"all men are not dogs" ?!?!?!

 

sure there are lot of bitter women out there!

 

There sure are! Especially a lot of single women in their thirties plus!

 

edit: not there are are a lot of men who are dogs...

 

I've read this passage beforer and it does sounds a bit like a woman who is not willing to make any compromises with a trashy 'talk-to-the-hand; sort of attitude.

 

 

I find passages like these incredibly conceited. What's wrong with making your partner feeling important, biting yoru tongue sometimes.

 

If a woman abided by all of those 'rules' in the passage i'd feel incredibly sorry for her poor partner with that sort of attitude.

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girl68 Apprentice

girl68

Posted
Posted
lol, i see i'm gettin mixed emotions on this thread

 

 

It's not a bad thing, just some relationships work differently.

 

I know you didn't write this and there is lots I do agree with in certain ways... but there are others that simply cannot be said true of every man, woman or relationship.

 

It's a women empowering article, just don't take this as the whole hearted truth... as it is not.

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indierockgrl Apprentice

indierockgrl

Posted
Posted

I personally think this is true.... i am in my thirties and i am far from bitter. I have had nothing but long term relationships and i was the kind of person who defined myself by a man....I think its wonderful advice. The person that wrote it sounds like a strong woman, not a bitter one. Men are afraid of strong women, no matter what any man on this thread says to the contrary. I dont have any daughters, but i would raise her to love and appreciate herself and never rely on a man for anything......

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  • 11 months later...
SaladChopper Newbie

SaladChopper

Posted
Posted

what an awesome piece of writing! lol i agreed with it. To me it didn't go into DETAILS of relationship problems, but more so points of a healthy relationship from the perspective of a woman comfortable in her own skin. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. There IS the possibility of a healthy self and healthy self image. Truth, if a man wants to stay, he will stay. If a man REALLY wants to leave, he's gonna find a way to leave. Every woman should be happy in herself. A relationship should be a bonus, not a necessity. Thx for the post!

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Jpo Enthusiast

Jpo

Posted
Posted
if a man wants you, nothin can keep him away.

if he doesn't want you, nothin can make him stay.

 

I didn't make it past these two sentences... Completely ridiculous and untrue. I can think of a million reasons why both statements are absolutely unrealistic and if anything, will only serve to confuse women more. Honestly, as if life is so simple.

 

I'm scared to read the rest of that.

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tina-rocks Contributor

tina-rocks

Posted
Posted

I agree Jpo, This is not a positive outlook for men or women for that matter as each situation is unique as are the people in them.

 

Statements such as these give people false opinions as to the traits of men and as one who has been hurt myself, I still do not believe in them.

 

We will each in life suffer loss and pain. It's all apart of life's rich tapestry.

 

Free Will means we all get to choose our paths we take along the road and some will bring riches and joys unimaginable whilst others will lead to heartache and pain.. These things help us to grow and shape the people we become in later years.

 

Accept people for who and what they are.. Don't walk into every situation with a mindset based on someone's rash statement of how you should or should not behave toward another human being.

 

We are all of us different and it's that difference which attracts us to each other.

 

Christina

 

 

 

 

I didn't make it past these two sentences... Completely ridiculous and untrue. I can think of a million reasons why both statements are absolutely unrealistic and if anything, will only serve to confuse women more. Honestly, as if life is so simple.

 

I'm scared to read the rest of that.

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Jpo Enthusiast

Jpo

Posted
Posted

Absolutely. Little of that advice was practical and half of it is just plain bad. I mean, really, it assumes we individuals are completely two-dimensional and non-unique. I understand that the purpose of this is to make women feel better about themselves and empowered after a break up, and maybe it even works. But if they plan to adopt that attitude they better be ready to read this over and over for the next forty plus years, and perhaps take in ten or so stray cats...

 

Abiding by that list will, ironically enough, put you right back in the position that made you read the list in the first place.

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