Do women like it when you are a gentlemen?

[nthalley]

or is it weak to them?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I love when my boyfriend opens car doors for me.

 

I dislike it when guy friends do that.

[servedcold]

Why do you dislike it when friends do it, debaser?

[CathC]

I really like gentlemen a lot. It can be overbearing if a guy is over gentleman-ly, but a little thing here and there is great. I've always liked it when guys hold doors for me and treat people and me with respect. Gentleman = good, in my opinion.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Why do you dislike it when friends do it, debaser?

 

I don't like being treated different because I am a woman.

[Tru_Justice]

or is it weak to them?

 

Only if it's genuine and not because you're seeking approval. But of course you do have some women who are just not used to being treated like that.

[annie24]

i love gentlemen - from dates/bfs and male friends or total strangers. i was getting off the bus, and there was a big pile of snow, so some old dude extended his hand to me to help me scale the snow. it was so gentlemanly and kind of him! i practically melted!

[waveseer]

I like consistency. Either do the thing most of the time or forget it and never do it. The reason I feel this way is if a man knows how to be a gentleman but only chooses to on special occasions then I have to wonder why he doesn't value me enough to act that way all the time. Yes, it happened that way to me I'm not making this stuff up.

[laisla]

only ladies do

[thejigsup]

I'm a lady, and I agree with DW. Do not treat me different because I am a woman. I'm nobody's "little woman", "baby doll", or helpless little girl. Treat me with respect, but cut out the opening doors, overprotective stuff.

[nurse1986]

Of course! I love to be treated like a lady.

[ghost69]

be a gentleman, just don't be a pansy push over little _____. women hate that.

[servedcold]

I don't like being treated different because I am a woman.

 

I'm a lady, and I agree with DW. Do not treat me different because I am a woman. I'm nobody's "little woman", "baby doll", or helpless little girl. Treat me with respect, but cut out the opening doors, overprotective stuff.

 

This thread is confirming a decision I've been considering to stop opening doors and car doors, pulling out chairs and helping women carry things, etc., other than for my mother or older family members who appreciate it. I was raised to do those things out of courtesy and respect, not out of some demeaning or controlling motive, but basic human kindness. Tired of having one set of women find it gracious and another set find it annoying or sexist with no indication of who is in which set.

[heaven66]

I love it...It really turns me on big time

[Stuffy Nose]

This thread is confirming a decision I've been considering to stop opening doors and car doors, pulling out chairs and helping women carry things, etc., other than for my mother or older family members who appreciate it. I was raised to do those things out of courtesy and respect, not out of some demeaning or controlling motive, but basic human kindness. Tired of having one set of women find it gracious and another set find it annoying or sexist with no indication of who is in which set.

 

I totally agree, servedcold.

[Cognitive_Canine]

As I said before, I don't find it sexist.

 

I love it when my boyfriend does it and guys get brownie points when they do it when I am on a date.

 

However, if a friend treats me differently because I am a woman...I really dislike that. When I'm with a group of friends, gender has nothing to do with it.

[lila...]

This thread is confirming a decision I've been considering to stop opening doors and car doors, pulling out chairs and helping women carry things, etc., other than for my mother or older family members who appreciate it. I was raised to do those things out of courtesy and respect, not out of some demeaning or controlling motive, but basic human kindness. Tired of having one set of women find it gracious and another set find it annoying or sexist with no indication of who is in which set.

 

Exactly, women shouldn't find it demeaning or offensive when men act this way because they are taught to do it out of respect and courtesy, not as a demeaning gesture. I don't really understand the women who think this way. Why treat us different? Because we are different.

 

To answer the original question, I do like it a lot.

[COtuner]

I quite enjoy it, personally. It doesn't happen nearly enough. My BF of almost 5 years completely stopped years ago.

[solacean]

From reading the responses to this thread, is it any wonder some men in this day and age are too confused to even take any action, when whether or not such an action or the lack thereof is going to offend any particular woman is no more predictable than a coin flip?

[stella74]

I love it when a man is kind enough to open doors for me. I don't think it's sexist. I open doors for men too. It just depends on who gets there first. It's a sign of respect and politeness, both of which are qualities that are attractive to me. No, I did not grow up in the South. LOL

[Casperlady]

I love it when men are gentleman like. It is so hard to find these days and I am a hopeless old fashioned romantic so it appeals to me

[afrodite79]

or is it weak to them?

 

I love it. It was one of the reasons it was so hard for me to break up with one of my ex BFs. He was even like that with his female friends. If that's the way you were raised and you aren't doing it to get something it's fine with me. I don't like it when a guy does things for me because he truly thinks I can't do it on my own though.

[agatha]

This thread is confirming a decision I've been considering to stop opening doors and car doors, pulling out chairs and helping women carry things, etc., other than for my mother or older family members who appreciate it. I was raised to do those things out of courtesy and respect, not out of some demeaning or controlling motive, but basic human kindness. Tired of having one set of women find it gracious and another set find it annoying or sexist with no indication of who is in which set.

 

 

to the OP: I like it, to some extent. I like to do things on my own, but I also melt to these attentions if they are consistent, genuine and don't suffocate me

 

to servedcold: reason why I am very clear as of when I want my things carried, doors opened, or a helping hand to maintain stability when going downstairs on very high heels. = )

[MarineDude85]

This thread is confirming a decision I've been considering to stop opening doors and car doors, pulling out chairs and helping women carry things, etc., other than for my mother or older family members who appreciate it. I was raised to do those things out of courtesy and respect, not out of some demeaning or controlling motive, but basic human kindness. Tired of having one set of women find it gracious and another set find it annoying or sexist with no indication of who is in which set.

 

WRONG WRONG WRONG.

 

The reason you are so distraught over this decision is you are willing to change your personality, morales, and personal authority based on what the girl wants.

 

Just keep doing whatever it is that you do and eventually you'll find a girl that fits with you like Legos.

[servedcold]

The problem is that the behavior has become an "issue." It's not supposed to be acknowledged or even thought about by either party, and certainly not commented on by either party. It's a little awkward when every woman I date thanks me for opening their car door, not a big deal, but just makes me wonder if it's time for these acts of minor chivalry to go away altogether. They send the wrong message to some women that is unintended, and the ones who appreciate the behavior could probably do just fine without it.