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A question about Dating


grymoire

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Situation A: I am interested in a girl, ask her out for a date, and right there she says "sorry I am not interested... you are not my type"

 

Situation B: I am interested in a girl, ask her out for a date, she says 'yes' and we go on couple of dates.. then she says "sorry you are a very nice guy but i am not interested"

 

Is there difference between the 2 situations? I feel there are... in fact a LOT.

 

Not to make this another 'nice guy' thread but I honestly feel that the whole nice guy/bad boy can happen only in Situation B. In Situation A the girl knows nothing about you and rejects you right at the beginning... there is not even 1 date.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Also, what exactly happens in Situation A?? the girl is just not attracted to the guy? or does she think there is absolutely no future and hence no need for dating? Have you ladies rejected out right without even 1 single date? if so, why?

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Ok.. so in Situation A it is really not the guy's fault right?

 

 

Right. Had this happen a few months ago. We had met once before, socially, so I knew her. But when I asked her, got the "No." No reason, though I tried, just "NO."

 

Situation B is just no chemistry...it happens.

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I am more focused about situation A. I want to know under what circumstances a girl will not give the guy even 1 chance (1 date).

 

 

Do you know these women? Do you know if they are even interested in dating in general? Or are these women you see, talk to, ask for a date?

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She doesn't like you. Simple as that.

 

If you don't pass the physical...you're out.

 

Thanks.. that's what I wanted to know.

 

This is why I always believe that the physical attraction is the most important thing when it comes to Dating. IMO if the girl feels a strong physical attraction for the guy then it no longer matters if he is bad a$$ or a super nice guy.

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Thanks.. that's what I wanted to know.

 

This is why I always believe that the physical attraction is the most important thing when it comes to Dating. IMO if the girl feels a strong physical attraction for the guy then it no longer matters if he is bad a$$ or a super nice guy.

 

If she likes the way you look and you can make her laugh...that's how you get your foot in the door.

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If she likes the way you look and you can make her laugh...that's how you get your foot in the door.

 

i make her laugh like no one else has... she told me "i have never laughed so much with any one else".

 

but i guess she is physically not attracted to me and hence no date.

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i make her laugh like no one else has... she told me "i have never laughed so much with any one else".

 

but i guess she is physically not attracted to me and hence no date.

 

Yea...gotta have em both.

 

Good job for trying. It's good practice.

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thx mate...

 

quick question - since women also make decisions purely based on how a guy looks why is it they always say "men are shallow"?

 

You're welcome.

 

Well, men ARE shallow.....but so are woman. They conveniently skip that point though.

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thx mate...

 

quick question - since women also make decisions purely based on how a guy looks why is it they always say "men are shallow"?

 

I also agree that situation A is purely whether the woman finds the man attractive.

 

I met this guy once.. first night, and he wanted to start dating immediately with the intention of being in a relationship eventually. He was a runner, religious, & getting his PhD in kinesiology. A great catch really, but I just wasn't physically attracted to him. There really wasn't anything wrong with him other than I thought his nose looked funny. I guess I should have given him a chance to let his personality shine through, but love the bf I'm with now so no regrets.

 

Women say "men are shallow" because most women only date men. I'm sure there are men who say "that girl is so shallow". You are just more aware of when you or those like you (other men) are the target of such remarks.

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I also agree that situation A is purely whether the woman finds the man attractive.

 

I met this guy once.. first night, and he wanted to start dating immediately with the intention of being in a relationship eventually. He was a runner, religious, & getting his PhD in kinesiology. A great catch really, but I just wasn't physically attracted to him. There really wasn't anything wrong with him other than I thought his nose looked funny. I guess I should have given him a chance to let his personality shine through, but love the bf I'm with now so no regrets.

 

Women say "men are shallow" because most women only date men. I'm sure there are men who say "that girl is so shallow". You are just more aware of when you or those like you (other men) are the target of such remarks.

 

thanks alli.

 

hypothetical situation - let's say you didn't give that guy a chance because his nose looked funny. after rejecting him you go on dates with many other guys... but for couple of years you don't get a stable boyfriend at all. the men you were with either cheated on you or never gave you what you wanted. after 4 such years would you regret about not giving the other guy a chance? or would it still be 'no regrets' as you did not find him physically attractive?

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thanks alli.

 

hypothetical situation - let's say you didn't give that guy a chance because his nose looked funny. after rejecting him you go on dates with many other guys... but for couple of years you don't get a stable boyfriend at all. the men you were with either cheated on you or never gave you what you wanted. after 4 such years would you regret about not giving the other guy a chance? or would it still be 'no regrets' as you did not find him physically attractive?

 

no regrets. I'd rather be alone than with someone I'm not feeling

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thanks alli.

 

hypothetical situation - let's say you didn't give that guy a chance because his nose looked funny. after rejecting him you go on dates with many other guys... but for couple of years you don't get a stable boyfriend at all. the men you were with either cheated on you or never gave you what you wanted. after 4 such years would you regret about not giving the other guy a chance? or would it still be 'no regrets' as you did not find him physically attractive?

 

Actually I would probably give it a try if that happened & a second chance came up. I say "no regrets" because I wouldn't want the past changed & not be with my current bf. Tastes change over time a bit, maybe I would find him more attractive later. He had some good things going for him that I completely overlooked.

 

Then again, I haven't seen his nose in a year & a half so maybe I'm "minimizing" it. haha.

 

edit: Oh, I just remembered he had the same name as my ex. Sorry but I could never date another Matt again. Scratch that!

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There could be many reasons - it might be how he asks, the timing of when he asks, body language/vibes. Some people have religious/ethnic/cultural restrictions. It might be a total lack of physical attraction or lack of any potential for it. It might be his age, weight (i.e. health reasons), that he smokes cigarettes.

 

Physical attraction can certainly change over time - peoples' preferences change, as you get to know someone attraction can grow (or decrease), etc.

 

In the second case there can be many reasons - my reasons have included that the attraction that was there wasn't there after a few dates, that it didn't grow, we didn't have compatible values/goals, I didn't have fun with him or enjoy his sense of humor (or he didn't have a sense of humor), I met someone else I liked better, etc.

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