Am I being paranoid or realistic??

[siefer]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 3 months, our 3 month was on valentine's day actually. We're both 17 and lately she's been talking about this guy alot lately that she met at work. This guy also has a girlfriend and he's been texting my girlfriend on her cellphone and they talk throughout school and they plan to hang out next week with another friend of this guy's and plan to go out to eat. This guy is also coming to a concert with us and some of my girlfriend's friends. I dont want to exxagerate it, but she's very out going and made friends easily at her work, but out of everyone there, she talks about him the most. I've confronted her on this more then one time and asked if she likes him and her response was, "No. We just work together. Thats all. And we seem to hit it off as friends at work. Thats all. Do you expect me to not be friends with guys." I was like, "Of course not. I have friends that are girls, but the thing is, I dont constantly talk to them and talk about them to you." It seemed to genuinely bother her that I thought this and told me she doesnt at all. That he's not attractive and he has kind of a dull personality. Then I asked, if he has such a dull personality why are you friends with him. She said it's just someone to talk to at work. They go on breaks together sometimes and she's mentioned that this guy has asked her to hang out after work before, but she really couldnt because she couldnt stay out that late not bcause she didnt want to. She has written something on his hand before saying some band rocks that he hated and someone asked him why he didnt try to rub it off and he said because I dont want to. Which in my opinion shows he likes her. My girlfriend has told me that she loves me and she was the first one to say it and she still does. She also says that this other guy means nothing, but she seemed so excited that he was joining us to the concert with a friend of his. I need your honest opinions. Do you guys think I'm overreacting or should I be worried?

[rich_1517]

Jeaously is tough, especially when there "seems" to be cause. but jealousy is also a poison that destroys relationships. it makes the person under suspicion (your girlfriend) feel not trusted and judged. its bad for love in general.

 

sometimes the best way to handle it is to attack head on, become this guys friend. get to know him, get to know his girlfriend and them together.

 

no one can control another persons feelings. if she wants to be with someone else thats what she will do, but you cant let it eat you up inside and destroy your relationship before a shot is ever fired.

 

by getting to know this guy you may make yourself feel better and also remove some of your feelings about this. it also says ok "hes our friend" just dont say why you are doing this. someone else may have better advice dont just rely on me

 

I know its hard hang in there.

[Athena]

Here's my take on it. I think this guy does like your girl. I don't think she likes him back the same way, but, I think she is enjoying the attention that she is getting from him.

 

Now, that said, I think Rich is right. Try and get a grip on the whole jealousy thing. There's an old saying that goes, "keep your friends close and your enemys closer" . Get to know this guy, make yourself a presense in his life. Who knows, you could end up with a friend.

 

I've had the opportunity in a couple different relationship to deal with a similar situation. My approach was this, When I was suspicious of the ensuing relationship between an bf and a female friend, rather than tighten the reins, I would loosen up. Give them all the opportunity in the world to cheat. Reason? If I am in a relationship with someone who woudl do that to me, I want to know sooner rather than later.

 

-A

[rilo82]

I agree with athena and rich. Get to know him. Show him u are seriously unhappy of wad he is doing. if he does not back off, let ur girl know ur worries and if she really loves u, she will know wad to do. BUt rem to stay cheerful. No use worrying abt it if she does not love u.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey. Jealousy is annoying. I was recently in ur situation but this guy really had some guts, I knew him, he was already my friend and he started drifting on me and gettin close to her. I was annoyed and told her, had a fight or 2 and basically in the end, I don't care. If she truly loves you then she will, and if she's gonna cheat on you with someone else, it'll happen sooner or later, why prevent it? The faster you find out, the better.

 

In addition, you have to trust her, sometimes they do it just for a bit more attention, and if you think that's what she wants, then give it to her but if u wanna b tricky then don't and she can keep going on about this guy, just act like u don't care and back off a bit, avoid her. See what happens, u got 2 choices by me anyway.

 

Happy Heb

[beejy04]

man o man. My girlfriend became good friends with this guy when we first got back together, she thinks hes the hottest thing in the world, and he drives a nice car, they talk all the time on the phone and text eachother and he gives her a ride sometimes. it bothers the hell out of me but i know shed never cheat on me and she probably just hangs out with him cause every other girl thinks hes hot and she needs to show that shes popular. women are complicated. i would trust your girl if i were you. but you make the decision, just tell her how you feel.