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I've got myself in a sticky situation (I'm really good at that :s) I met a guy a few weeks ago, been getting to know him and he wants to take me out on a first date in a couple days (well, I said I can only do it in a couple of days) I obviously do have some interest in him, he seems like a cool enough guy, and he's good looking.But just a couple nights ago I asked him about his college, he then told me "this is where I hide for going to Uni in *different city*" and he's leaving in January. Well, it kind of threw me off somewhat. I asked him how often he is in our city, etc. and he is here a reasonable amount of time I think. But I guess it was that that started to make me question things. I wish he had told me that sooner too. :s

 

I've always had insecurity problems, and have ended up messing things up with guys because of my low self-esteem, clingyness, etc. I told myself I wouldn't have a long distance relationship again, because I don't think they're built for someone like me. I know he's in our city sometimes, but I just don;t know if I can deal with the added insecurity that comes with distance, when I;m already insecure enough. It's not just that though. I'm trying to get myself sorted: Lose some weight (which I'm doing), get a job, and sort my problems out (low self esteem, and I have a hormone disorder that I'm hopefully gonna be getting help with so that my hormone imbalance is better, so I'm happier, etc.)

 

I think I should probably sort all that out before I date? I can't help but think I'd be doing us both a favour, because I'm already feeling emotional about it and we haven't even gone on a first date yet! By emotional I mean I feel bad if I let him down, and am worrying what if I make a big mistake and it turns out he's the "right one for me"? But then I'm worrying about a million different thngs at once about if I do or I don't. But this emotionalness already probably points out I should work on myself before I date, right? I'm kinda a mess, lol.

 

What do you all think I should do?

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Hmmm...well, you could tell him that you think he's very interesting and all that but you're looking for someone a little more local...?? That way you're being truthful and buying yourself time to sort out the feelings you have towards long distance relationships. Or, you could go and find out more about him. How far away is his University from the city you're both in now? If it's reasonable and you like him so far...at least go on one date! Good luck and let us know what happens!

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I understand your concern about not wanting to date someone long distance. But it's just a first date... if it turns out you hit it off, then you might have to break the news to him that you don't want a LDR. But you could go on the date, and find out that you really only like him as a friend, or maybe the sparks flew a little but not enough to want something serious. Or you might find out that you don't like him at all... I mean there's so many ways a first date can turn out! I say still go on the date, but bring up the conversation about distance, talk about it with him... not as a serious conversation, but as a friendly, open discussion. Have a good time, and just enjoy each other's company.

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