She called at 2:41 am ... TWICE

[PJPaul]

Oh man, should have warned you about blocked ID calls. LOL

 

Yeah me and Forsaken slipped up on that one LOL *DOUH*

 

But yeah do u see all the games now? Immaturity at its best. Sit back observe, take notes. Its only been a few days and your seeing the kind of person she really is. A few weeks and you'll have you mind pretty much made up and this thread will be on the 15th page full of the stupid crap she did. LOL

 

I have to agree. I think you are very very wise. You give very very good advice. In fact, I wrote the sentence, "She wants a life with out you then show her a life with out you COMPLETELY. She wont know what she had until it gone" on a sticky note so I could focus on it.

 

I know it wasnt directed at me, but thanks for the advice!

 

Glad to know im helping others as I have been helped! *thumbs ups*

[zrehman]

Yea, I think I'm gonna call AT&T and just tell them that I don't want anyone from a blocked number being able to call me. I am NOT going to block her number, cause I don't want her to think that I'm going out of my way to intentionally block her (Don't want her to know that she is getting to me in anyway - cause I'm sure she is looking for a reaction from me)

 

So when I do see her number on the caller id ... I can just put my phone on silent.

 

And plus my mom sometimes calls me with her house phone and it always shows BLOCKED on my caller id .... so don't want to ignore her calls.

[zrehman]

UPDATE:

 

I got an email from her tonight.

 

The email was a really angry email. She was blaming everything on me, she was taking cheap shots at me. She also told me that I was selfish because I had to say what I said in the email and then I went on to ignoring her calls. She also tried to say that she is going through a lot right now and expected me to be there as her friend and than it would eventually blossom into a relationship if I just stuck it out with her (I think that's bull ... we dated for 4 years, I was her friend, lover ... I can be there for her as her friend when we are together!)

 

Anyways, the email was angry. I showed it to my friend who knows all the details in our relationship and he said that the email she wrote was "messed up". He also said that his gf read the email with him and his gf commented, "What a b****".

 

i.e. Here is something she wrote in the letter, so you get an idea of what I mean when I say she was mean in the email:

 

"Btw, I called you to ask you some questions on teh mac, which is completely shot. I didn't understand what the mac tech was saying or what he wanted to know. It was pretty frustrating, esp since he wanted to charge me big bux to mend the "problem". Well, thanks for being helpful with me on that one."

 

My friend helped me in clearing my mind, cause that email clouded my mind. I decided to DELETE and not ever read it again nor respond to it.

 

What do you guys think?

[PJPaul]

Good u didn't respond! You have a lot of self control. Even though she attacked you, you did nothing.

 

Your friends/family and random people online (like me) are telling you about her. She could of came to see you and spoken to you like a rational adult about why your ignoring her and you could have given her a completely rational answer, but no. She sent you a completely irrational vengeful email attacking you when she should have been trying to figure out what when wrong and how to better herself. But nope that takes a mature person and that's not what she is.

 

Are you seeing those true colors yet. Things aren't so black and white are they? The show isn't over yet. Keep in NC and continue to observe her.

 

Don't do anything of impulse or with out thinking it through 1st. This time will test you and she will test you and your last nerve. Now the drama beings.

 

The 5 stages of grief....She is at anger now. Next comes bargaining

 

Stay strong buddy

[Timebandit]

i.e. Here is something she wrote in the letter, so you get an idea of what I mean when I say she was mean in the email:

 

"Btw, I called you to ask you some questions on teh mac, which is completely shot. I didn't understand what the mac tech was saying or what he wanted to know. It was pretty frustrating, esp since he wanted to charge me big bux to mend the "problem". Well, thanks for being helpful with me on that one."

 

My friend helped me in clearing my mind, cause that email clouded my mind. I decided to DELETE and not ever read it again nor respond to it.

 

What do you guys think?

 

She is getting increasingly desperate and is trying to guilt trip you (she might not be aware of this). When you put a flame out, the flame sometimes behaves pretty erraticly just before it dies out. This is what we see here. While it may take a while before she completely understands that she is no longer in power here, you are getting ever closer to your goal.

 

Just hold on and you'll be fine.

[zrehman]

UPDATE:

 

Guys, I thought about this long and hard tonight.

 

I'm replying back to her email, but I'm calling her out on everything ... not in an angry way and not to say F*** YOU to her.

 

I honestly feel like she is getting away with murder with what she has put me through in the last 4 years and I feel like since she was the one who did all the drama and unnecessary things in our relationship ... its easier for her to forget. She doesn't see the bigger picture and I want to make things very clear on why I think she is no longer an importance in my life. I am done with her and I don't care about the consequences of this email ... if it pushes here completely away ... GOOD!

 

I'm done with her!

[PJPaul]

UPDATE:

 

Guys, I thought about this long and hard tonight.

 

I'm replying back to her email, but I'm calling her out on everything ... not in an angry way and not to say F*** YOU to her.

 

I honestly feel like she is getting away with murder with what she has put me through in the last 4 years and I feel like since she was the one who did all the drama and unnecessary things in our relationship ... its easier for her to forget. She doesn't see the bigger picture and I want to make things very clear on why I think she is no longer an importance in my life. I am done with her and I don't care about the consequences of this email ... if it pushes here completely away ... GOOD!

 

I'm done with her!

 

Are 100% sure of this?

[zrehman]

Are 100% sure of this?

 

Yes PJPaul .. honestly, I love her and care for her. And I will probably miss her from time to time. But what man goes through what I've been through to still be * * * * ted on time and time again. I don't think she is ever gonna learn nor treat me right.

 

When I was in Med School ... she broke up with me, countless times .. she even cheated on me twice ... she got drunk, got mad and damaged my apartment ($1,000 in damages + $500 PS3 + $200 Glasses) that she broke and on top of that at the resort were it all started with her getting mad, she made $3,000 in damages there. All these damages happened in the end of August 2008. So do the math ... she has offered to pay me back ... but has she even given me a penny up to this date?? No.

 

How much longer do I have to go through with this with her? Why is is that I should go to NC with her, so she can realize and change. Why do I have to hurt myself to make her change?

 

I don't think this is right and I feel like all she has put me through, her sending me that email really ignited some fury in me because it seems like she has forgotten all she has done to me and I need to remind her that there is a bigger picture why I'm hurt and resentful towards her.

 

What do you think bro?

[PJPaul]

Well NC is for you and only you. At this point you don't worry about her, worry about you and only you.

 

I can only give you advice man. Its your job to do the thinking. But you want to know what would do? I would have been left her for all that crap. Throwing a temper tantrum and damaging your belongings and cheating TWICE!!

 

Dude.......30 million, never forgot. she is one. There is 29,999,999 left.

 

But that's my opinion. You sound like I did a month ago. It actually a little creepy lol

[zrehman]

Well NC is for you and only you. At this point you don't worry about her, worry about you and only you.

 

I can only give you advice man. Its your job to do the thinking. But you want to know what would do? I would have been left her for all that crap. Throwing a temper tantrum and damaging your belongings and cheating TWICE!!

 

Dude.......30 million, never forgot. she is one. There is 29,999,999 left.

 

But that's my opinion. You sound like I did a month ago. It actually a little creepy lol

 

Ha .. Thanks for the advice bro ... you really helped me. But I know how her mind is, and I know she is making it seem like she did nothing wrong ... after she is done reading my email, I won't expect a response back or will need to respond back to her ever again.

[PJPaul]

and if you get an email back I'd advise you not to read it. It'll just make you mad

 

Honestly I believe she didn't deserve and email from you I but did the same with me ex (a letter) so what can i say lol

[zrehman]

and if you get an email back I'd advise you not to read it. It'll just make you mad

 

Honestly I believe she didn't deserve and email from you I but did the same with me ex (a letter) so what can i say lol

 

Your right, she doesn't deserve an email from me ... but I can't just walk away from her and let her get away with this. She took COMPLETE advantage of me and I've never ONCE stood up for myself and told her what I really wanted to say, because I cared for her feelings.

 

I'm no longer gonna take her crap and its time for me to man up!

[PJPaul]

Ok now what you need to realize is that a relationship is two people. The reason it failed is just as much as your fault as it was hers. I know this may sound confusing as the break up is still fresh and your still upset and hurting, but think back on what she did and why you allowed the behavior from her *hint*hint*

 

Learn from this man. No human is perfect but we always learn from the imperfections. The more mistakes we make the better we get dude

[zrehman]

Ok now what you need to realize is that a relationship is two people. The reason it failed is just as much as your fault as it was hers. I know this may sound confusing as the break up is still fresh and your still upset and hurting, but think back on what she did and why you allowed the behavior from her *hint*hint*

 

Learn from this man. No human is perfect but we always learn from the imperfections. The more mistakes we make the better we get dude

 

I understand completely that a relationship is a 2 way thing. I don't think the relationship failing was my fault at all. The only thing I failed at was NOT having the strength to put my foot down and dump her the first time she stepped out of line. Instead, I forgave her, took her back, put my heart back in her hands and let her repeat the hurtful cycles on me.

 

It seemed the more mistakes she made, the more it continued and the more I was being taken advantage of. I understand we are human and make errors, and that is why I chose to forgive her in the first place, but she continued to make mistakes and I continued to let it happen ... that is my fault.

[PJPaul]

And as long as you know that and choose to be a better man because of if, You just might be ok LOL

 

And putting your foot down is sexy to women. Found that out on ENA too!

 

I strongly advise you not to get into another relationship for a while as you will be bitter for while about this. I still am

 

Just this time for find who you really are and what you really want out of life and from your SO. Most people your age cant do this anymore (not calling you old!) lol Follow your dreams and enjoy life go out have fun and enjoythe extra money your find accumulating in your bank account now that your single!!!

[zrehman]

And as long as you know that and choose to be a better man because of if, You just might be ok LOL

 

And putting your foot down is sexy to women. Found that out on ENA too!

 

I strongly advise you not to get into another relationship for a while as you will be bitter for while about this. I still am

 

Just this time for find who you really are and what you really want out of life and from your SO. Most people your age cant do this anymore (not calling you old!) lol Follow your dreams and enjoy life go out have fun and enjoythe extra money your find accumulating in your bank account now that your single!!!

 

hahaha - I'm only 27!!!! JERK! j/k!

[PJPaul]

hahaha - I'm only 27!!!! JERK! j/k!

 

LOL well i didn't know man!!

 

But you got dude. You be alright. Some days you'll feel like the most awesome man in the world and others you'll miss the friggin' crappy out of her and feel like crap as well but it gets better.

 

Its be a month and few weeks and i feel pretty damn good although I was a wreck at 1st. Just click on my profile and read my drama if you get bored. Me now and me then sound like completely different people.

 

Well its 4am dude GO TO BED!!! I am lol......be strong dude. Life goes on and gets better and women will come when your ready. And sorry get religious but talk to GOD he has never let me down. He wont let you down either, There's reason you found this website

[DN]

I don't know if you have sent the e-mail and am not sure it is a good idea to send one. But if you do I would simply say that she chose to broke up with you and that she has to deal with the consequences of that decision which includes not being able to turn to you for help when she feels like it. Tell her that you are moving on in your life without her and it is in your best interests not to be in contact. Keep it short, final and don't say anything else. If you start getting into her faults or whatever you keep a dialogue going - you need to end it.

[zrehman]

I don't know if you have sent the e-mail and am not sure it is a good idea to send one. But if you do I would simply say that she chose to broke up with you and that she has to deal with the consequences of that decision which includes not being able to turn to you for help when she feels like it. Tell her that you are moving on in your life without her and it is in your best interests not to be in contact. Keep it short, final and don't say anything else. If you start getting into her faults or whatever you keep a dialogue going - you need to end it.

 

I agree. Again, if your read the few posts I wrote in here. I couldn't let her walk away without her knowing how bad she hurt me. Because when you are the person who is doing the wrong ... you quickly forget what you did to the other person.

 

I sent the email and in the end of the email I simply but .. "Don't bother replying back to me ... I'm done being emotionally and mentally tortured. Its time I move on, heal and become a stronger person for myself."

[inspectahpecks]

I agree. Again, if your read the few posts I wrote in here. I couldn't let her walk away without her knowing how bad she hurt me. Because when you are the person who is doing the wrong ... you quickly forget what you did to the other person.

 

I sent the email and in the end of the email I simply but .. "Don't bother replying back to me ... I'm done being emotionally and mentally tortured. Its time I move on, heal and become a stronger person for myself."

 

Whilst I don't think replying to her email was necessarily a bad thing, whatever you do from hear in on will determine whether or not you do become a stronger person through all of this.

 

The next step is the most important. She WILL email you back. And she will try and do whatever she can to gauge a reaction from you. Just remember that she's deliberately trying to wind you up. She knows from past experience how easily she can push your buttons, and now that you're pulling away she's panicking and trying to draw you back in using the only way that she knows how.

 

Just keep telling yourself that you've done the right thing, and that you're better off without her. Because you are doing the right thing, and you'll come out of this as the bigger person if you stick to NC from here on in.

[zrehman]

Whilst I don't think replying to her email was necessarily a bad thing, whatever you do from hear in on will determine whether or not you do become a stronger person through all of this.

 

The next step is the most important. She WILL email you back. And she will try and do whatever she can to gauge a reaction from you. Just remember that she's deliberately trying to wind you up. She knows from past experience how easily she can push your buttons, and now that you're pulling away she's panicking and trying to draw you back in using the only way that she knows how.

 

Just keep telling yourself that you've done the right thing, and that you're better off without her. Because you are doing the right thing, and you'll come out of this as the bigger person if you stick to NC from here on in.

 

Thanks.

 

I think I had to say everything that I had to in the email I sent her. Especially since I talked about all the harm she has done to me and how she tried to be manipulative in each situation. I don't need to contact her anymore if she chooses to contact me.

[diamond78]

The worst thing to do to a woman who has maintained an insurmountable control over a man is to ignore her....That is the best defense and the loudest signal you can direct towards her, especially after a breakup.

 

 

Did you not notice the increased levels of frantic displayed by her as you continued to ignore her attempts at contacting you? She tried playing every trick in the book, too...

 

A late night phone call, then a convenient 'i luv u' chain-letter forward, and of course the ever so popular damsel in distress routine. That text about the laptop had me chuckling because I knew she was about to hit her breaking point.

 

So, it came to no surprise that she would send the angry e-mail to 'trick' you into acknowledging her again.

 

She is so used to you coming back no matter what she's done (and boy has she done a lot!!), that she can't handle nor fathom the thought that you would really leave her completely.

 

She has manipulated you and developed so much control over this relationship, that she was confidant she still had you at her every beck and call. Unfortunately, this is behavior you have basically told her you accept by continuing a relationship with her despite the many major red flags and ill-treatment.

 

I was disappointed to see you replied to her e-mail because she got what she wanted....A reaction from you confirming that you are still grieving and care for her. But what's done is done. No more contact though.

 

I can guarantee that the way she treated you, she will do the very same to the next guy.

 

You seem like a really great guy and I hope you find someone who will appreciate the effort and hard-work you put into a relationship. Your Ex was on a whole 'nother level of high-maintenance and entitlement issues!!

 

Good Luck to you!

[zrehman]

Thanks .. I understand were everyone is coming from on telling me not to contact her through the email I sent her.

 

I thought long and hard if I should send her the email. I didn't send the email based on impulse or my feelings. I sent the email with a clear head and 1 goal in mind ... making her know why she will never be with me again.

 

I felt that if I just ignored her and not let her know ALL the reasons I am fed up with her ... she would win cause she would be thinking the whole time that she did NOTHING wrong. I wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine that was long over due ... I wanted to put my foot down and I wanted to put her in her place! From now on, I said everything I have had to say about the torment she put me through in our 4 year relationship ... I have NO reason of contacting her or giving in to her ... not unless she gives me a million bucks! lol - j/k!

 

Thanks for your thoughts! I appreciate it.

[heloladies21]

Listen, there are 2 alternate goals of NC. One is if you never want to see the person again and move on. But the other is if you don't feel like you are strong enough to think with your head instead of your heart. NC gives you the method to improve your strength. So that when you do get disrespected, you are able to fully stick up for yourself and what's right for you.

 

This isn't a ****ing match, it's not about who can hold out not contacting the longest, or who gets the last word. This is not a game, this is all about looking out for YOU #1 and your emotional well being and doing whatever it takes to make your life the very best it can be.

[diamond78]

Oh, I totally understand the reasons for wanting to e-mail back...anybody would feel and react the same way and I must say it takes alot of self-control to not want to defend yourself in a situation like this. I'm not even sure I would not have been able to reply back. And sometimes it does help to get those feelings off your chest.

 

Unfortunately, the problem with this type of person is that no e-mail you send is going to confirm to her that she was in the 'wrong'. If she couldn't see that she was wrong with cheating on you twice, racking up thousands of dollars in damages, being manipulative, and the list goes on...believe me when I say no e-mail is going to make her think otherwise. She is suffering from a severe lack of self-awareness and awareness for others.

 

Leaving her in complete silence just may give her something to think about....just maybe.

 

She may or may not contact you again. I wouldn't be surprised if she does sometime down the road...especially if she doesn't find a quick replacement. I believe you have the strength to ignore her if she tries to come around and send her the clear message that you are done.

 

You are now free from this toxic relationship and I hope you take this time to heal and work on yourself. You deserve better than what you received from this relationship, so it's important to learn why you let yourself stay in such a toxic relationship for so long.

 

where do you guys find these type of women anyway??

 

be strong!!!