ibenhad Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 So on Friday I go to lunch with a female co-worker who my girlfriend knows. We stop at a fast food place so she can bring her daughter back food. While in line my GF calls and I don't pickup. I hate people who act as if a cell phone is a home phone and just blab everywhere. I txt her quick that I am in line for food. She proceeds to call me back first 3 times in a row and then every 5 minutes mostly from her work phone and then her cell. I was eating at this point and too embarrassed to pick up plus I thought it was rude to keep calling. Now it has blown up into a big issue. I didn't respect her, what was I hiding, why didn't I just call her back. Honestly it pissed me off. I knew she was at work and I would call her as soon as I got back to work. Was I wrong? Is this something so horrible that I did? She says I have issues over having to report/answer to someone? That she never wants me to do this again and this has gone on all weekend. Was I really that wrong. Please help me understand. If it was me I can accept that. I already apologized and she wants me to apologize again and promise I will respect her and it will never happen again.. Did I disrespect? Link to comment
COtuner Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 No, you did nothing wrong based on your description. She sounds demanding and immature. Link to comment
doyathink Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 That would piss me off too. If it were a male friend that you were having lunch with, would she have done the same thing? One apology is enough....if she cant accept that, then she's questioning your sincerity. You're not a child, and she needs to respect you! Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 No you did nothing wrong. She sounds out of control. This type of behavior would drive me away. Link to comment
ncnc Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 You txt ur GF to let her know that you were in line for food, she still carried on calling you, ALOT, so it could have been something urgent!!! Why the hell didnt you pick up if she was calling you that many times????? If I was calling my Husband as much as your GF was calling you, knowing that he could clearly speak as he was only inline for food, and he never picked up I would be PISSED!! big time as it could of been something urgent I was calling him for!! Why didnt you pick up?? Link to comment
Smoothie58 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I don't think you did anything wrong. I think she was just feeling a little jealous and insecure that you were with another woman and she didn't understand why you didn't pick up. Sometimes jealousy can make you act crazy, but I don't think you were in the wrong, I think she was just afraid. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 You txt ur GF to let her know that you were in line for food, she still carried on calling you, ALOT, so it could have been something urgent!!! Why the hell didnt you pick up if she was calling you that many times????? If I was calling my Husband as much as your GF was calling you, knowing that he could clearly speak as he was only inline for food, and he never picked up I would be PISSED!! big time as it could of been something urgent I was calling him for!! Why didnt you pick up?? One call and a message is enough. If it was urgent she could have texted back: call me ASAP please, it's an emergency. Instead she proceeded to call incessantly instead of waiting for him to call back. No, this is not normal or OK behavior. Honestly, I'd dump a guy if he did this to me more than once. Once is a mistake. Twice is a pattern and at that point I'd be done. Why all the drama? Geez. Makes absolutely no sense to me. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 She says I have issues over having to report/answer to someone? I would be very wary of a relationship where I was required to 'answer to someone'; she's your girlfriend, not your Kommandant, right? Actually, I wouldn't be wary, I'd RUN. You texted her back to say you were in the line for food, which seems reasonable. Her calling you back again and again like that is just plain obsessional and controlling, as is the demand that you apologise repeatedly. Often when people accuse us of being disrespectful/selfish/insensitive/whatever, it really means 'You're not doing what I want you to do'; you might look at who's REALLY disrespectful here (Hint - it's not you!). Telling others that they have 'issues' because they don't act as required is another one. Very manipulative. If this is typical of her behaviour every time you don't do exactly what she wants, accept that she has monumental issues around control, and question whether you really want to stay with this girl. Link to comment
SugarHoneyIcedTea Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 My ex was exactly the same, and it was so annoying! I hated having to report to him like as if I was a child. I started expecting it, and in a way got used to it. You were not wrong at all, she just seems insecure. Link to comment
ibenhad Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 NCNC You txt ur GF to let her know that you were in line for food, she still carried on calling you, ALOT, so it could have been something urgent!!! Why the hell didnt you pick up if she was calling you that many times????? If I was calling my Husband as much as your GF was calling you, knowing that he could clearly speak as he was only inline for food, and he never picked up I would be PISSED!! big time as it could of been something urgent I was calling him for!! Why didnt you pick up?? As I said I was inline. I txt'd her back and she was at work it was not an emergency. Maybe you and her are the same type of personality. Thanks to all who found this ridiculous I didn't think I was going crazy. This girl is very demanding and controlling. I wish she would let it go but it's as if I created a sin against all mankind. NCNC this is not proper behavior and is not tolerable... Obviously you think it's OK so maybe you should get yourself some help because this type of behavior is not healthy and will drive a man or woman away. Link to comment
DN Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I don't think you had anything to apologise for once and for her to expect another apology is ridiculous. This is behaviour on her part that you need to deal with immediately or she will get worse. I would tell her that you will not tolerate it again. Link to comment
DN Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 This girl is very demanding and controlling. Then perhaps you need for her to be demanding and controlling of someone else. Link to comment
laisla Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 why didn't you pick up and tell her you're in line for food, and that you'll call back later? Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 why didn't you pick up and tell her you're in line for food' date=' and that you'll call back later?[/quote'] He texted her that. Link to comment
ibenhad Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 why didn't you pick up and tell her you're in line for food' date=' and that you'll call back later?[/quote'] Did you even read my post? I hate people that do that and I find it disrespectful. She was at work it was not an emergency. I txt'd her within a minute. Link to comment
laisla Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 He texted her that. why not a call though? Did you even read my post? I hate people that do that and I find it disrespectful. She was at work it was not an emergency. I txt'd her within a minute. yes i read it all Link to comment
DN Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 One of the drawbacks of cellphones is that people expect other people to answer them at any time regardless of what they are doing, who they are with and if it is inconvenient or even dangerous. If it were that urgent she could have texted to say so. Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 why not a call though? Why was a call necessary? What difference does it make? If you are in line for food, getting on the cellphone is rude to everyone else because it slows down ordering and paying. Some coffee shops even have a sign asking customers to hang up before they get to the front of the line. I don't make calls while in line for this very reason. Link to comment
ibenhad Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 Funny I just asked her to marry me on Wednesday. Maybe she is just overwhelmed and all with that and the Holidays. Maybe I'm just to nice and I should tell her to get a freakin grip. To all who are reading this I got the answer from most of you that I thought I would. To those of you who think she was right get your head checked.... Link to comment
DN Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 I think the major issue here is that this woman is demanding and controlling - this incident is a symptom of that behaviour and needs addressing on that level. Link to comment
laisla Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Why was a call necessary? What difference does it make? i'm just asking. did something happen between you two in the past in regards to losing trust or a lack of it? Link to comment
lady00 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 If this is a habit of hers, I would not marry her until she snaps out of it. Link to comment
laisla Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 To all who are reading this I got the answer from most of you that I thought I would. To those of you who think she was right get your head checked.... the question in your thread is asking whether you were wrong. if you know you aren't wrong, why ask it? btw i don't think she is right, but there might have been other reasons why she did that that might have lead to this situation. Link to comment
DN Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Funny I just asked her to marry me on Wednesday. Maybe she is just overwhelmed and all with that and the Holidays. Maybe I'm just to nice and I should tell her to get a freakin grip. To all who are reading this I got the answer from most of you that I thought I would. To those of you who think she was right get your head checked.... Although the last sentence of this post would seem to indicate that you yourself have issues of patience, tolerance, respect for others and an inability to see another point of view. Link to comment
ibenhad Posted December 14, 2008 Author Share Posted December 14, 2008 Problem is she doesn't think she was wrong and this behavior is OK. I don't know what to do. I love her with all my heart and we have issues. Hell who doesn't? But this is the crap that drives me crazy. I'm 43 years old I don't have to report to anyone. I never cheated and have only been loving and caring of her. She is very jealous and must have been cheated on because she always thinks Im cheating. Or maybe she is a cheater herself. I sure hope not. Usually the one who is suspecting is the one whose doing. Thanks all. Link to comment
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