Maybe rebounding is okay, sometimes.

[chewybaca]

I just wanted to know everyone's opinions about getting involved in another relationship after getting out of a long-term one.

 

I've been broken up with my ex for about 6 months now, and we dated for like 1 year and 9 months. Since we broke up, i've kind of dated or been involved with a couple people, but I felt like I was cheating myself. Like I wasn't healing, I was just burying the hurt from my break up with a new person.

 

I wanted to be okay on my own before I got into another relationship, and not feel like I NEED someone in that boyfriend way. But now I think i'm starting to doubt myself. If it's been 6 months and i'm still not over it, should I go ahead and go into another relationship?

 

My ex got a new girlfriend about 3 months after we broke up, and he's over me..so maybe it would help?

 

I don't know, I was just trying to avoid the whole rebound thing. But maybe it's what I need.

 

Tell me what you think. I'm real curious.

[waveseer]

You are ready when you can give the person you date an honest chance without expecting them to be like your ex.

[dreamwarrior]

Your not ready, take your time...what is the rush? As for me I wish to find a new bf someday too, but at the moment I need to focus on what I need...relationships take up to much energy....I am so glad to be single right now...I don't have to clean up someone elses' mess, worry about what mood they are in or arguing with them.....I feel more at peace now.

 

Why do you want a bf anyway? I am happy to come home to my cute little dragons (my avatar) I kiss them, and we can watch whatever movie we like.

 

Anyway when the time is right...you will move on....and don't try to compete with your ex just because he has an new gf...he is probably on the rebound too.

[chewybaca]

the rush is that i am completely ready to move on and be over all of this. i'm so sick of it. so, if getting a new boyfriend would help, then i'm all for it, you know?

[Sunshine07]

I would say don't get into a relationship just because you want to get over your old one faster. However, you should still be open to meeting new guys and if something clicks, definitely go for it!

[whes]

Almost right after my longest relationship (4 years, ish), I went out with a guy who had also just been dumped by his long-term girlfriend. We both were definitely not ready for a relationship, but we knew that right from the start and didn't expect a huge amount of commitment or intimacy. That being said, we were exclusive. Just not quite bf/gf.

 

I know for a fact that I healed from my ex being with this 'rebound' guy much much faster than I would've if I'd been on my own, or if I'd not gotten into anything with him. He was in exactly the same place I was though, so it worked out the same way for both of us, and we had similar boundaries we just weren't willing to cross. His companionship helped me through a lot of nights when I otherwise would've been lonely.

 

You do need to be very very clear about your boundaries and expectations if you are considering getting into another relationship right away, but, it can be beneficial. It certainly was for me.

[dreamwarrior]

You just said your ready to move on in your last post, but you are saying something completely different in this post??? I understand how you feel...I am experiencing the same thing at the moment....I am going to take time to do what I want and then if a nice guy comes along then that is great.