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Date tonight but no text?

sunflower_girl

By sunflower_girl
in Dating Advice

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sunflower_girl Contributor

sunflower_girl

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I've been seeing a guy that I completely adore! Our conversations flow effortlessly, we're incredibly attracted to each other and the sparks are just flying off the walls. Also, he's a charmer which is a nice change after the good ol' rugged boys I've dated.

 

I know I shouldn't get so hooked, we've only know each other for a little more than 2 weeks and I was out of town for 1 week during that period. But, I can't help it--he's so sexy and adorable! He made me dinner Monday night and I offered to cook tonight. He texted me yesterday (Tuesday) to ask how I was doing, I replied and....nothing. End of conversation? I haven't heard from him today... (it's 4pm)? What about dinner?

 

Should I just wait to see if he responds or just make different plans with friends?

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Ac143 Enthusiast

Ac143

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Make different plans with friends, you can be sitting around waiting for his reply OR why dont you call & ask him? He might have forgotten & is doing something else tonight. Was the date set in stone or was it something that you guys just mentioned but didn't really talk about?

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sunflower_girl Contributor

sunflower_girl

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Ok, sounds like a plan. Night out with friends it is! Really strange because I just got a text and my heart skipped because I thought it was him, but it was a good girl-friend asking if I wanted to get together tonight. Ah, his loss! I'm a woman with a busy schedule--will not wait around pathetically for a guy (no matter how charming he is).

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confused25 Rising Star

confused25

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I've been seeing a guy that I completely adore! Our conversations flow effortlessly, we're incredibly attracted to each other and the sparks are just flying off the walls. Also, he's a charmer which is a nice change after the good ol' rugged boys I've dated.

 

I know I shouldn't get so hooked, we've only know each other for a little more than 2 weeks and I was out of town for 1 week during that period. But, I can't help it--he's so sexy and adorable! He made me dinner Monday night and I offered to cook tonight. He texted me yesterday (Tuesday) to ask how I was doing, I replied and....nothing. End of conversation? I haven't heard from him today... (it's 4pm)? What about dinner?

 

Should I just wait to see if he responds or just make different plans with friends?

 

 

Well the text you sent him last night, was it a text where he'd be required to send you back a response?

 

I'd just shoot him a text today asking him if he's still coming over to dinner. If he doesn't respond then forget it.

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WindowTo Contributor

WindowTo

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The mature and secure thing to do in this situation is to call once more and see what's up. Unless your last text contained something that was meant for him to respond to. If you just said "I am good see you tomorrow night" or something and there is not any logical reason to assume he isn't coming then obviously I would give him another try, otherwise if the ball is in his court don't stall your "busy schedule" for him.

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sunflower_girl Contributor

sunflower_girl

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Update: He did text me asking about our plans to night, I replied saying that we're still on and I'm looking forward to seeing him. Since he was working late, I told him that I would go out with a few friends but meet him at the train station after work.

We exchange texts throughout the night; I had a great time with friends.

 

But then, all of the sudden, he texted to let me know that work is hectic and he can't leave the office after all. He won’t be done until really late at night and mentioned that he'll be exhausted at that point. Could we postpone?

 

Since I'm moving out of the country this Sunday, I graciously declined because tonight was my only free night. (Need to get a lot of last minute things done, pack up the apartment, spend time with friends, etc). He didn’t reply.

 

Meh, I seem to have the worst luck with men! I always seem to be attracted to a man right before I make a major relocation--maybe I should stop being so mobile. Ah well, doesn't he seem flacky anyway? This guy was really great--a real charmer--but, if a lady meant that much to you and it would probably be your last time seeing her, wouldn't you have tried to make it work?

 

Dating is hard, I don’t think I have what it takes!

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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SInce you were getting attached to him really fast and since you are moving out of the country it is really for the best it happened this way....

 

It would have done you no good for the night to have been perfect just to have to move out of the country on Sunday...that would have ended up hurting worse than not going out with him at all.

Maybe the "universe" did you a favor since you were not thinking logically...

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sunflower_girl Contributor

sunflower_girl

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I'm kind of hating the universe right now. It's really weird--this was only the second time that I've ever felt this way dating anyone. The first time, I was really in love with that person and we dated for more than a year (long distance because I was mobile). In between these two guys, I've dated other people but there was never that magical "spark".

 

This would only have been our 4th date so I know I was thinking way ahead of myself and setting myself up to be hurt, but...couldn't help it. He was great and totally swept me off my feet. Guess I liked him more than he liked me.

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JadedStar Collaborator

JadedStar

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I have been in love several times in my life. Not once did a magical spark appear after one or two dates.

 

True love for me came after really getting to know a person inside and out. I have been infatuated a few times and felt some spark, but it wasn't real. The person never ended up being any good for me. Usually by the third date the true colors were revealed and funny how that can send a crush right out the door! At least it did for me! To me 'spark' is congruent with a 'crush' and crushes can die as quickly as they come about.

 

I do not put stock in that early "magic spark". I cannot feel anything deep for somenoe until i really know them.

 

I think it is a shame when people run from someone too soon because there was no magical spark on day one. For many people, in fact most, real love takes time and it happens when you know that person not just on the outside but you feel you have seen deep into their soul. I do not know many people who can say they did this on one or two dates. Of course attraction is present, but even that for me is tied directly to an inner connection. Outward good looks never made me feel much of anything if the person behind it was kind of dull, not intellectually stimulating or who didn't make me laugh and exercise my mind a little bit.

 

And this guy seemed to really flake on you so if this has also happened before i wouldn't trust "magic".

 

And don't be mad at the universe. Make your own future. I was being a bit flippant about the universe helping you out. I think we make our own path in life.

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