What is so wrong with dating older men?

[Mythical_Suicide]

He's just a little off. He's not mentally handicapped, but he's got some problems relating to other people. He's very shy and doesn't to people much, except for me. I'm the only one who can get him out of his shell. He acts scared around everyone else, but with me he's very comfortable.

 

I think he has some sort of a social anxiety.

 

Just a little "off"???

[Cognitive_Canine]

Just a little "off"???

 

That's more of a red flag than the actual age.

[Car Chick]

i was VERY mature when i was a teen. like, WAY mature. very knowledgeable, not naive, cool, calm, collected...

 

but there is still only so much about life a teen or young woman can know (or thinks she knows)

 

no one here is saying that you are dumb or immature, but its a bit juvenile to suggest that the dating experience you have had at your age is enough to know what its all about. there is a reason why so many people will question your relationship, bc chances are its not going to work/last. but as sure as you know its what you want and you are happy, enjoy it! there is nothing wrong with it

 

 

Thank you. Finally someone who isn't judging us. It's just really hard when you're in love and you want people to happy for you but instead all they do is call the man you love a pervert. What girl doesn't want to talk with her friends and family about her date? I can't do that. It hurts to know everyone is against me and against the person I care so deeply for. I don't understand why people don't care how much they hurt me.

[Mythical_Suicide]

That's more of a red flag than the actual age.

 

 

Exactly what I was thinking..

[orangesoda]

why not just find a guy your age with a similar maturity level?

 

and your reasoning is a bit off - there are plenty of 40 year old guys who have the maturity of a 10 year old kid.

 

age doesn't equal maturity. and saying you're mature and actually being mature are two entirely different things.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Thank you. Finally someone who isn't judging us. It's just really hard when you're in love and you want people to happy for you but instead all they do is call the man you love a pervert. What girl doesn't want to talk with her friends and family about her date? I can't do that. It hurts to know everyone is against me and against the person I care so deeply for. I don't understand why people don't care how much they hurt me.

 

The reason they say those things is because they DO care for you.

 

You have to recognize that because they do not know him nor are apart of your relationship, that from the outside it looks like a dangerous situation for you.

[Car Chick]

My dad was 37 my mum 21-22 when they met, they had to get through lots of issues like my mum wanting my kids and my dad not being sure. It can work but its hard.

 

There are a lot of people like this. My grandma is much younger than my grandfather. They get along great. Thank you for sharing and not be judgmental.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Thank you. Finally someone who isn't judging us. It's just really hard when you're in love and you want people to happy for you but instead all they do is call the man you love a pervert. What girl doesn't want to talk with her friends and family about her date? I can't do that. It hurts to know everyone is against me and against the person I care so deeply for. I don't understand why people don't care how much they hurt me.

 

 

 

It's hard to see past a 30+ man wanting more than sex out of a teenager. I'm 21 and I couldn't even imagine dating a teenager no matter how mature they are. Just something doesn't sit right with that. People are going to assume every possible thing about your relationship but like I said previously if you were mature and secure enough in your relationship you wouldn't worry about what others thought.

[avman]

My dad was 37 my mum 21-22 when they met, they had to get through lots of issues like my mum wanting my kids and my dad not being sure. It can work but its hard.

 

Sure, that's an excellent example of things working out. And of course if two people just click then it can work. But a big age gap with a very young partner is going to make those difficulties pretty tough to overcome.

 

People also get concerned that the younger person is being taken advantage of. This isn't always true but the potential exists. So it gets people wondering.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

age doesn't equal maturity. and saying you're mature and actually being mature are two entirely different things.

 

 

Yep!

Everyone thinks they are mature beyond their years, until they grow up and realize just how little they did know about life. I was one of these people I was EXTREMELY mature for my age and had a kid at 17 but it wasn't until I got older did I realize, while I knew alot more than most my age I didn't know nearly half of what I needed to know to survive in life.

[Cognitive_Canine]

It's hard to see past a 30+ man wanting more than sex out of a teenager. I'm 21 and I couldn't even imagine dating a teenager no matter how mature they are. Just something doesn't sit right with that. People are going to assume every possible thing about your relationship but like I said previously if you were mature and secure enough in your relationship you wouldn't worry about what others thought.

 

 

Heck, people do that if there is no age gap nor visible red flags.

[Car Chick]

The reason they say those things is because they DO care for you.

 

You have to recognize that because they do not know him nor are apart of your relationship, that from the outside it looks like a dangerous situation for you.

 

 

How is it dangerous? He's not hurting me. He's making me happy. That's something I haven't expierienced much in my life.

 

I just wish that people would try to understand. If I was being hurt, I would be glad that they were trying to help me, but they are the ones hurting me, not him.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Heck, people do that if there is no age gap nor visible red flags.

 

This is true. I get crap all the time for my relationship (As does my fiance) but we don't let it bother us because we are both secure in our relationship.

[Cognitive_Canine]

How is it dangerous? He's not hurting me. He's making me happy. That's something I haven't expierienced much in my life.

 

I just wish that people would try to understand. If I was being hurt, I would be glad that they were trying to help me, but they are the ones hurting me, not him.

 

But from the outside looking in. It is very dangerous. The question in the back of their mind is, why is he dating a barely legal young girl? Why can't he find a woman his age?

[SapphireNoir10]

Sure, that's an excellent example of things working out. And of course if two people just click then it can work. But a big age gap with a very young partner is going to make those difficulties pretty tough to overcome.

 

People also get concerned that the younger person is being taken advantage of. This isn't always true but the potential exists. So it gets people wondering.

 

Absoloutley. My friends 22 and shes dating a guy in his mid thirties. They have so many issues. He loves showing her off but doesnt put that much into it.

[Mythical_Suicide]

How is it dangerous? He's not hurting me. He's making me happy. That's something I haven't expierienced much in my life.

 

I just wish that people would try to understand. If I was being hurt, I would be glad that they were trying to help me, but they are the ones hurting me, not him.

 

 

It's dangerous because it is extremely easy for a young teenager like yourself to be manipulated by a much older man. Everyone is trying to understand, but for the most part can't grasp how/why a 30+ man would want to be with a teenager unless there are some hidden motives.

[Car Chick]

Sure, that's an excellent example of things working out. And of course if two people just click then it can work. But a big age gap with a very young partner is going to make those difficulties pretty tough to overcome.

 

People also get concerned that the younger person is being taken advantage of. This isn't always true but the potential exists. So it gets people wondering.

 

I can see the concern, but I just don't understand why people can't try to look at it objectivally. They automatically assume because the man is older that he just wants sex. They don't even give the idea that he really loves me a chance.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Also, rarely do young girls (can happen to anyone but more so in young girls) let others know about the bad parts of their relationships. So, the family nor friends has any idea of what may actually be going on. They assume the worst.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Absoloutley. My friends 22 and shes dating a guy in his mid thirties. They have so many issues. He loves showing her off but doesnt put that much into it.

 

 

That's all young girls are to alot of older men (Older women/young men too..) they are the "trophy" to show off and say "Look what I can get!!"

[SapphireNoir10]

Does he treat you well? Is he good to you? Are you happy?

 

IF the answers yes then you dont need us to validate your relationship. you know whats right for you for now.

 

We just dont want you to get hurt.

[Car Chick]

It's dangerous because it is extremely easy for a young teenager like yourself to be manipulated by a much older man. Everyone is trying to understand, but for the most part can't grasp how/why a 30+ man would want to be with a teenager unless there are some hidden motives.

 

 

Thank you for trying to understnad. I am trying to understand your viewpoint too. That's why I wrote this thread, so I can understand why people attack my relationship.

[SapphireNoir10]

That's all young girls are to alot of older men (Older women/young men too..) they are the "trophy" to show off and say "Look what I can get!!"

 

Absoloutley. If she even mentions commitment he disappears for a while. She is just his trophy girlfriend for all his mates.

 

I was taken advantage of by a guy my ages...and when theres a big age difference the motives for taking advantage of someone are even bigger.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Thank you for trying to understnad. I am trying to understand your viewpoint too. That's why I wrote this thread, so I can understand why people attack my relationship.

 

 

 

Let me ask you this. How many relationships have you been in?

[lana111]

Thank you. Finally someone who isn't judging us. It's just really hard when you're in love and you want people to happy for you but instead all they do is call the man you love a pervert. What girl doesn't want to talk with her friends and family about her date? I can't do that. It hurts to know everyone is against me and against the person I care so deeply for. I don't understand why people don't care how much they hurt me.

 

youre welcome ahaha.

 

but since i have you on my good side ahahaha...

 

there is a darn good reason why all these people are so skeptical... so listen to what they have to say and dont just sweep it under the rug.

 

if you are happy with the relationship, thats all that really matters but PLEASE dont rush into anything with this man... PLEASE! take your time and just dont be so confident that you end up blinding yourself.

[Car Chick]

That's all young girls are to alot of older men (Older women/young men too..) they are the "trophy" to show off and say "Look what I can get!!"

 

He's way out of my leauge in looks. I am surprised he's intrested in me. I actually think he's more the trophy. Sexy, toned arm muscles, blue eyes, a smile to die for with dimples to match. He's the catch.