Nearwater Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I just have these days of overwhelming sorrow and sadness. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Not to friends or in front of anyone anymore. My heart is no longer on my sleeve. I look at my cell phone, 300 numbers and no one to call. I skim the net at night and try not to listen to sad music. I cope okay, but I am faking. I am dreading the holidays like you cannot believe. It will be our first holiday season apart in years, she with her crazy rebound situation and me losing my mind from loneliness. I can't wait till the snow gets deep and I can disappear into the trees for a few months. I troll around link removed and met some fine women but I SO do not ever want to be with anyone but her... Is it JUST me? Link to comment
littlestar Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 No it's not just you. I miss my ex so much and i dont want no one but him either. But he isnt good for me. I know i can do better, i need to move on, just need to figure out how Link to comment
waveseer Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I've been trying to knock back that little nagging voice in the back of my head that says: You know he loved you, he knows he loved you and until you figure it out together nobody's going to be happy. Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Its not just you but I remind myself that I felt the same way about others in the past and eventually found love again. Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 No it's not just you. I miss my ex so much and i dont want no one but him either. But he isnt good for me. I know i can do better, i need to move on, just need to figure out how What the hell do you do when they were SO GOOD for you but you moved 2000 miles away to pursue your dreams??? Link to comment
RougeKali823 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 What the hell do you do when they were SO GOOD for you but you moved 2000 miles away to pursue your dreams??? Keep pursuing your dream and if its meant to be then it will be. Link to comment
pushforward Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I just have these days of overwhelming sorrow and sadness. I can cry at the drop of a hat. Not to friends or in front of anyone anymore. My heart is no longer on my sleeve. I look at my cell phone, 300 numbers and no one to call. I skim the net at night and try not to listen to sad music. I cope okay, but I am faking. I am dreading the holidays like you cannot believe. It will be our first holiday season apart in years, she with her crazy rebound situation and me losing my mind from loneliness. I can't wait till the snow gets deep and I can disappear into the trees for a few months. I troll around link removed and met some fine women but I SO do not ever want to be with anyone but her... Is it JUST me? Sort of feeling that. Keep in mind that this is temporary. Stop having the pity party. You are only down as long as you allow yourself to be. It's over. Go out and have a blast! Still comparing? Then you aren't ready for a serious relationship, maybe not ready to date either. You need to spend some quality time finding yourself. Get into hobbies, join a gym, get in touch with old friends. Lay off the dating sites. Focus on healing, then and only then you should start dating. Right now your hurting. Please pick yourself up and forgive yourself. It happens to the best of us. But, it won't keep you down and out forever. Right? Right! Link to comment
Nearwater Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 Push, I am not feeling like I want pity... I ride my road bike 6 days a week, lift and eat right, ready for ski season. Business is good and I know who I am. I just so miss our life. Starting over after all these years has lost it's allure. Don't want to. Glad in so many ways I can care so much, gives me the confidence I can love someone forever, whatever that means anymore. She is the one losing out here. Thanks for the support. Link to comment
rapunzel Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Hey NW - Sorry you are feeling so low. This is a rough time of year and I spent the last two summers with my ex, only to spend the fall and winter alone in the cold. I don't get it, how could he pass me up - but I keep telling myself it's not about me, it's about him. I only have control over me and I can decide that I'm not going to let him ruin my life. I do worry that I'll never find anyone else like him and truthfully I won't but it doesn't mean I won't love again. That said, I am still sad and he unfortunately still consumes my thoughts. So we're all in the same boat. I know this too shall pass and we will all feel better. There's no way we can feel this sad forever, we are just still healing. I think you and I at are a tough age (I'm 47) to be dealing with heartbreak as it is so hard to find someone else. Believe me it's probably going to be a lot easier for you than me (with the ageism out there). Yet I have to open up my heart, and release my ex with love and compassion to let a new love in. This is what I'm working on. My ex is on link removed (trying to meet younger women with his age reduced by six years - hmmm) and I tried it for three days but I realized I'm not ready. I just don't have the energy or desire right now. I do have a date tomorrow, a coffee date that a friend has set me up on. I'm going to put on my happiest "fake it till you make it" face and just try to enjoy the moment and this person. Link to comment
pace of ace Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I wish i could sleep through the holiday season this year, really can't be bothered with it. It will get easier but you have to allow it to. Nomatter how hard that may be. I agree with misskitty, there is no time limit to your hurt, but it also wont last forever. Link to comment
Robert013 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 In my opinion and from reading alot of posts from ENA for the past month and a half it is normal. It is going to keep getting worse and worse until one day your brain takes over from your heart and slaps you right in the f-ing face. Then you wake up. The roler coaster starts moving on a positive slope instead of the negative slope you were previuosly on that was controlled by your heart. There are hills and valleys on both slopes. Stay strong soon you will get that wake up slap to the face. This is why we are brave and some of our exes are cowards. We are moving on the healthy dignified way that will lead us right where we were meant to be. Going down the right path is not ever easy that is why it is the path less traveled. Just remember that it is also a shortcut to finding who you are meant to be. Link to comment
pushforward Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 It takes time to let go. You'll know when you're ready. That's great that you are not letting her hold you back from life. Your emotions is just a guidance for what you feel right now. There must be some type of change needed for you to replace her. Whatever love I have towards her, I put it into my singing. Maybe some type of creative outlet will help you. It utilizes the other half of your brain and will allow you to get out the pent up emotions. Everybody is different. For me, it's getting worse also. Not better, but I still hold on to hope to get better. It always gets worse before it gets better, right? RIGHT! Link to comment
HereIGoAgain Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 It's getting worse for me too and I started okay with the split. Every day is a struggle with no hope in sight for a better day. I've come to the conclusion that this is it for me in terms of healing, that is this is as good as it will ever get. Link to comment
starlight40 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Im pretty much a tortured soul at the moment too so your not alone. My ex and i split 6 months ago, he still wants me back and lets me know all the time. I feel i can get back with him but i cant move on either, im stuck. Im worried that if i let him go completely then what if im making the biggest mistake of my life and im worried that if i have him back im making a big mistake too ](*,) Link to comment
Ragdollwasteland Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 No, I know how you feel... It hurts to lose somebody that you love... Its like a death of a loved one, only your loved one is alive and avoiding you. Something like that. Link to comment
franfran Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 Like most other replies, it's getting worse for me too. It's been just over 1 month since the break-up and I think the longer time passes, the days get worse, especially with the holidays coming around. My anniversary with my ex would have fallen on Thanksgiving so I am completely dreading to live through that day. Every night I go to sleep replaying memories of him and imagining him sleeping next to me only to wake up in the morning all by myself. I guess we just have to realize that they're not coming back, they don't want us in their lives anymore. I'm trying to be angry over it but when you love someone so much it's hard. It's so hard. Link to comment
sandrawg Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 I can relate. I'm 41. I'm trying not to feel like I have some monkey on my back to find someone else. I need to heal from some crap first. I think you and I at are a tough age (I'm 47) to be dealing with heartbreak as it is so hard to find someone else. Believe me it's probably going to be a lot easier for you than me (with the ageism out there). Yet I have to open up my heart, and release my ex with love and compassion to let a new love in. This is what I'm working on. Link to comment
Nearwater Posted November 21, 2008 Author Share Posted November 21, 2008 Well, there you have it, it's not just me is it. Never felt like this before, Can't imagine how she feels. The guilt would drive me to talk to and try to care for my ex, I think. Link to comment
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