Ok why do we all yell

[yeawutever]

Yes we all are guilty of doing this in our daily life and unfortunately it's a real aweful habit. Just today I had a yelling match with my father, yes he can have a temper when you get on his last nerve (esp. when he looks at you with those angry eyes) but heck so do I. We're both can be equally short tempered yea like father like daughter, heck I hate being yelled at, it gets me sooo mad esp.when you get me that threatening look like saying ''Oh I want to smack you right now'' because that won't scare me at all, it will only further enrage me.

 

But I kinda think wouldn't the world be more stable without the need to yell. Why yell? some get piss at the drop of a hat.

[SapphireNoir10]

I can't yell. If i try and yell I just get upset and cry. I had being yelled at because it makes me feel about two foot tall and after being in an abuive relationship it brings back bad memories so a lil bit of yelling can hurt me more than most people would guess.

 

Im guessing people yell when they loose their temepr because they cant rationally get their point accross.

[yeawutever]

Yes, it can make you feel trashy. When the other person does it (X person, man or woman) you can to think that they can't explain things in a civilize way. But it's most associated with people who lack high school and/or college education. I'm trying to aviod but if they do it on me then I can't just bury my head like an ostrich for what so they could think they somehow take charge.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

i agree... I'm a yeller.... and i hate that i yell... i wish i could remain calm, cool and collected ...but old habits die hard.

 

if anyone has any techniques on how to stop yelling i would greatly appreciate it.

[yeawutever]

i agree... I'm a yeller.... and i hate that i yell... i wish i could remain calm, cool and collected ...but old habits die hard.

 

True esp. when you come from yellers. I think that does the same for abusers, if they were abused as a kid then it's sometimes likely they will developed certain traits as adults.

 

I guess my only technique would be for the person to not yell at me in the first place.

[ImThatGirl]

** Raises hand **

 

I try so hard to not be a yeller. I practice, calm but firm....

 

Looking forward to the responses here too.

 

I know that it helps if I take a step back and breathe deeply for as long as it takes before responding.

[SapphireNoir10]

Hmm If i ever feel like yelling I do the classic. Count to ten. I take a deep breathe count to ten and rationalise with myself why its not a good idea to shout. And usually that calms me enough.

 

Or I just think its not worth the effort.

[SapphireNoir10]

Calm but firm always gets such a better response in an argument etc I find. You get the upper hand of being rational and mature.

[yeawutever]

Yes it makes you sound like a cultivated, educated person while the one doing the yelling is more like a 10 year-old.

One time I was thinking on applying my own technique but it didn't lasted my long, the next day I forgot about it.

[ImThatGirl]

^ I agree...... I don't yell all the time... it's not effective - shows you've lost control... But yeah - sometimes I get to the point of raising my voice. Eh. Then I know I need a break!

[SapphireNoir10]

Yeah thats the walk away or zip your mouth time I find lol! I'll be like *goes for a longg walk*

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

I try the firm calm approach ..but then whenever I do yell..i feel like it catches me by surprise... and i don't realize what i have done until after the fact- i know it sounds silly ..that i "don't realize" but thats the best way i can explain it... my mouth opens and BLAH BLAH BLAH!

[yeawutever]

frustration and yelling comes from some form of hurt and a belief that others SHOULD think the way WE want them to.

 

Yes kinda like they're your owners.

[SapphireNoir10]

Yeah its just a lil bit of passion and anger and your feelings coming out vocally. You just gotta try and listen to yourself more. Stop yourself and calm down and think 'Stop it!'

[yeawutever]

explain it... my mouth opens and BLAH BLAH BLAH!

 

LOL, that's a good one. Yes sometimes there's no explanation, you simply lose it.

[yeawutever]

Get a tape and tape yourself and see how it looks to you when you have calmed down. I bet it is ugly when you see it from that perspective.

 

That'll be cool and for sure I'll be embarrass. Tapes are helpful and speaking of it reminds me one time when my b/f heard me yelling when I got drunk. He was like ''You should have heard yourself, you sure started acting out''. To make matters worst one of his friends was there so what impression did I just created, for sure not good.

[lostandhurt]

Victoria is right.

Look back at the last few times you have yelled. Most times it is simply because things aren't going your way. Your parent won't see your side of things so you yell. Your child won't listen after you have told them 5 times over and over so you yell. Your husband is arguing with you but neither is listening to each other so you yell.

 

We turn to yelling out of frustration because we don't look for a more healthy way of getting through to them. Unfortunately some go farther and hit which usually starts with yelling. We have all known yelling households where it was a way of life. You want something your way, Yell! I have been guilty of it as well. I often regret it and figure out how I should have handled it better but by then the deed is done. I guess the trick is to figure out how to handle it better before your voice gets raised.

 

lost

[thejigsup]

I confess, I can yell at times. Especially when I'm tired or stressed. It's awful, I know. I am working on it and am getting better...but some days I just yell. Would the world be a better place without it? Sure, but we are human and if you yell, well, there are worse things you could do.

[yeawutever]

Come to think about it, I'm now having a flashback remember a time when I was in the mall with my b/f. Can't recall what I got mad about but I started raising my voice and he's like ''Calm down'', then I punch a wall (yes I got kinda frustrated I admitted). Anyways I told him I wanted to go outside for a while and then come back so I did, yes it did help.

Then again, this got me kinda spooked when I punch the wall, what if it had been him or he gotten in the way???? Oh my don't wanna think about it.

[SapphireNoir10]

The only thing i hate about shouting is the loss of control. For some violence and shouting are quite close together like my ex would shout and shake my shoudlers or push me or hit walls or something.

[yeawutever]

Yea, well see I like my father tend to at times close my fist and shake along with deep breath kinda like perspiring. So I guess this would be an early sign of violence, which is spooking me out now.

[3boys]

I very rarely yell out of anger or frustration...guess I'm really in the minority. I only do so when I've tried all other means of communication and nothing else seems to work. I honestly can't remember the last time I yelled, that's how rarely it happens